Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson as Delboy Trotter

Boris Johnson as Delboy Trotter

By JFarrell

 

“El dolce est decorum…” he says

Waving a hand nonchalantly

Just because he uses Latin phrases

Doesn’t mean he’s using them correctly

Like Delboy with his French phrases

And his ridiculous heavy south London accent

The pronunciation exaggerated his ignorance

Of what he was saying;

Boris uses a posh accent

And everyone falls for the super-intelligence act.

 

If “Allo, Allo”, “Only Fools and Horses”

And “Upstairs, Downstairs” had a love child

Boris would be it.

 

Don’t laugh

With how our current prime minister is doing

He could be our next Prime Minister

Leading demand for a second referendum on Europe

Leading the Remain campaign

And he’d probably end up

The most popular prime minister ever

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

welcome President Boris Johnson

Inspired by English exercise to write a news report

Inspired by English exercise to write a news report

 

In an astounding interview yesterday the Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson, apologised for his involvement in the Brexit campaign.

He said “It is clear people were misled badly over the consequences of Brexit. I deeply and humbly apologize for my role in this deception and will do all I can to fix the mess I’ve made.”

He went on to say that he feels it is his “responsibility” to initiate a vote of “no confidence” in the Prime Minister, Teresa May. “In these times of crisis, it is clear that my Right honourable friend is not up to the task of providing the “strong and stable leadership” we need. El dolce est decorum… or some other meaningless Latin expression to baffle the stupid.”

When asked how he intends to fix it, he answered “I will urge for a second referendum and lead the Remain campaign.”

In response to this announcement LBC presenter and former UKIP leader, Nigel Farage, dragged himself away from his pint to say “I think it is a very noble and courageous act that Boris has performed today. It is bravery like this that demands my full support and convinces me that Boris would be an excellent prime minister.”

Michael Gove was unavailable for comment, though he could be heard screaming “Devious bastard!” from within his parliamentary office.

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

breaking news...