Domestic Violence

YOU

Listen...
I want YOU to listen to the loud silence.
YOU haven't been able to here it
because YOUr soul swims in the water with violence.

My livid emotions are barking at YOU.
Barking at the way YOU come at me.
YOU walk in guns cocked,
eyes exhibiting evil
YOU're words beating my face
I regret the steps I take in your place.

Violence is your art
YOU thrive on tearing beauty apart.

The jabs where YOUr hand feels like a mallet,
paint uncanny hues from the black and blue pallet.
On my brown canvas YOU add dashes of a fine crimson red.
From my chest to my neck to the top of my forehead.

YOU've got my heart dancing in a frenzy of frustration,
little armies in my head wait in anticipation.
They are on the defense CODE RED confrontation.
They feel my brown canvas quivering with agitation.

YOU...YOU...YOU!

YOU tried to take "me" from myself
YOU tried to claim "me" for selfish wealth
YOU put my picture up to bring me down
but all it left was a fast frown.
because I'M here living and living quite well
YOU're back home in hell...

Downtown, in cell B6.
Where you belong with all those other dicks.

Listen...
I want YOU to listen to the loud silence.
YOU can hear it now...behind those bars.
Now YOU're the one that fears YOUr old friend, violence.

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GO AHEAD!!

Go Ahead!

GO AHEAD!! Ruin your body, destroy your organs from the inside out.

Hurt the people around you, abuse the ones you love.

Kill innocent kids riding their bikes or sitting in the back of mom’s mini van.

GO AHEAD!! Risk loosing your job, your house, your car and even your marriage.

Teach your kids how to be a lowlife, pass out in front of the TV drooling at 9 PM.

Miss out on family vacations and outings, even your son’s first starting QB varsity game.

You are the one who suffers.

So, GO AHEAD!! Loose your friendships and your past relationships.

When you go home, break your nice things and threaten your wife.

Hold her down and choke her until she cries out that she can’t breathe

GO AHEAD!! Miss all your son’s football games,

Except for one where you show up yelling obscenities and picking fights.

Forget your daughter’s dance recital and show up on Sunday incoherently hoping you are on time.

You are the one who suffers.

Just remember, you are not the one who has to clean up the broken glass, or mop up the puke in the bathroom.

You are not the one who has to perform without any family in the audience, or the one who has his first kick off with no father to cheer him on.

You are not the one who has neck and back pain or has to make up stories about where your bruises came from so that your husband doesn't go to jail.

And you are not the one who feels bad about herself because her husband calls her names and ridicules her.

You are not the one who has to pay the probation bills and court costs.

You are not the one who has to lie to others and say things at home are fine.

You are not the one who suffers.

Alcohol kills your family

A PIONEER WOMAN

They have parceled me out amongst them,
Making bogus contracts upon my head.
They who call themselves CIVILIZED.

My water has been poisoned,
And the nature of my food corrupted.
I have been spat upon, brutalized, sucked dry...
They are HYPOCRATES,
Who have cried charges of rape against each other,
But they have not fought for my cause.

OH MY SOUL...

WHY DO THEY TURN DEAF EARS ON MY WEEPING?

WHY DO THEY TURN BLIND EYES FROM MY PAIN?

I have been the giver of life,
Year after Year.
And WHAT do they give me when I give birth?

A TOKEN PLANT,
That EVENTUALLY be killed by them anyway

"It's just a matter of time...."
"They have left me barren!!!"

So many days I want to erupt with fury,
Singe their faces with embers and hot ash.
And I want to drown them in the bitter water they have left me to drink!!!!!!

Andy why?
Why do I continue to lull them to sleep
WITH MY HEARTBEAT?

In THAT moment,
Not long after my death,
THEY WILL THINK OF ME...
ESPECIALLY WHEN JUST DESSERTS COME.

Will someone,
ANYONE,
SPELL IT OUT FOR THEM!!!!!
In the end,
I CHOSE
to no longer be held captive,
And I gave up my spirit.

I am no longer,

Mother Earth

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Never will I break

Folder: 
Love

Beat down my spirit
But you will never break it
You may wound my heart
But all you will leave are a few scars

Because late at night
I still dream
Late at night
I dream

You can ignore what I say
But I still have my voice
I am moving on
I’m not surviving I'm thriving

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Hit

Folder: 
Love

You opened up this big whole for me to fall into
And you just look in as I fall down farther and farther

You ask for feedback for communication
How can I talk when I’m falling to my death

I make you mad so you hit
I need to numb out so I take a hit
I hate my flesh I take a hammer and hit
Just one more hit and I will feel ok

I try to talk and you cut me off
I cant take the pain so I cut

I am too much throw me away
I am too big I throw up

Just one more hit

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Feb 11 2009

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Daddy's Little Girl

Folder: 
Volume One


 

 

~~)(~~

Daddy's little girl”

 

Daddy's little girl

cute as a pearl

beautiful and innocent

wearing her little white dress

but there is a secret she needs to confess

 

"Daddy smells of beer,

he looks at me and sees my fear,

its going to be another one of those nights

I scream and Yell, Daddy I promise not to tell

please don't hurt me anymore

you make me feel like such a whore"

 

Daddy please don't hurt me anymore

you make me feel like such a whore

Daddy why cant you stop touching me?

Daddy why cant you let me be?

 

What did I do that was so wrong?

to have you make me feel this way?

why cant you stop drinking?

Daddy please don't touch me there

Daddy please don't pull my hair

this is so unfair

 

"Daddy smells of beer,

he looks at me and sees my fear,

its going to be another one of those nights

I scream and yell, Daddy I promise not to tell

Please, Daddy don't hurt me anymore

you make me feel so dirty like a whore"

 

Will it ever end?

I cannot pretend

that it never happens, it hurts to damn much

Not again,

tonight another lesson will begin

 

I've had enough daddy, please forgive me

I hope tonight you will see

I'm only your daughter

and your only my father

 

I pick up the knife

and end your miserable life

one more time

its just the same fucking line

 

Daddy can't hurt me anymore

he's dead but I still feel like his whore.

 

Please forgive me

I did not mean to hurt you

I'll always be Daddy's little girl

pretty as a pearl

I'll write on your tombstone

I will always love you

till the end of time

but what you did to me was a crime.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

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