BDSM

November 11, 2010

Folder: 
DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO

 

I arrived, as I often do, at Club Sesso on a slow Wednesday night. It had been almost an entire month since the last Twisted Party, and two weeks since the big Halloween bash. The first nip of cold was in the air, and my wife was on a business trip. Midweek, Sesso is only $10 (unless it is a special event such as a gang bang) and the free buffet more than makes up for my price of admission.

 

There were a lot of the regulars there. Unfortunately, they were the regular men, so even though their friendly company was welcomed, it more than limited the odds of me finding a willing play partner.

 

I seldom fuck at this place anyway, opting more often to share a BDSM experience (usually flogging or OTK spanking) with a lady looking for a little something different. In the past few weeks I have met several anxious couples more than willing to share their female half with me to help quell their kink curiosity.

 

At last month's Twisted Party, for instance, I was able to release two feminine faucets; one on the spanking bench and another on the St. Andrew's Cross.


Providing a woman this experience and hearing the words "I've never done that before" emerge from her pouting lips afterwards, more than propels me into deep Domspace. Maybe it is just my ego being fed that is tantamount to a Thanksgiving dinner, and not Domspace, but in any case, I was stoked as hell!


Not more that thirty minutes after the puddle of lady juice was towel-soaked up, I was scening and g-manipulating another lady whose boyfriend watched with equal enjoyment. He was fine gentleman with not an ounce of jealousy who keenly let me take control of his girlfriend. It worked out amazingly for all involved!

 

But that was several parties ago. I was a bit down this Wednesday, for the prior week I had finished a very creative scene and photo shoot involving body writing, poetry and bare bottom spanking. I spent most of the day shooting, scening and body writing and toiled into the wee hours of the morning editing, organizing and uploading the pictures, only to be woken up before noon to the model's partner, seemingly without reason, telling me she decided she didn't want any of them posted.

 

Several plans I had hoped to accomplish on this four day vacation were not coming together either. My wife away, my babygirl suffering from a tough cold, my masochist having another of her doubting fits of disobedience and a vanilla I had been courting for kink play had stood me up on a date the Saturday prior.

 

All was not happy in DaddyO's world.

 

The night dragged on. I devoured a warm 11 o'clock chocolate chip cookie and headed upstairs to where the more serious sexual action usually occurs.

 

Nada.

 

From the balcony I finally spied a woman whom I didn't recognize. She was standing at the far end of the bar and exuded a bevy of confidence. I made my way down the stairs and nonchalantly gathered in the middle of the dance floor with some of my buddies, who also happen to be colleagues in the swinger game. I was doubtful she would give any of us her attentions, but certainly not the chubby bald Daddy Dom who was 24 hours from needing an anxiety pill.

 

Many women mistake the absence of shyness in my swagger for confidence. In reality I am just as insecure as the next guy (many would argue more so).

 

How would she respond?

 

I straightened my collar and made my advance.

 

I was immediately greeted by her brand of swaggering confidence. Usually women who exhibit this sort of attitude scare the living shit out of me. Until tonight, I had never encountered it without the accompanying eye roll, lackadaisical shoulder shrug, or "I already have a drink, thank you" dismissal.

 

Yes, this time it was different. We volleyed barbs back and forth a few times, eventually learning that we both had some similar fantasies. She told me a man would have to take her; that she was used to being the dominant one.

 

"No man has the balls enough to handle me," she bragged.

 

I had a trick up my pant sleeve: my undersized penis often makes my balls appear much bigger than they really are!

 

I told her I loved it when a woman fought back.

 

I described an encounter I had over a year ago at a different swingers club where I was passing by a private room and a woman simply glanced my way and told me "I need to be fucked." I approached her and warned her I was "dominant" and liked to be rough. She replied back, "well you are gonna have to be dominant to take me, because I like it rough too." It was the most primal animalistic sex I had had at that point. It also was the most anonymous ...and due to her long fingernails, the most painful!

 

"You should come to tomorrow's Twisted Party", I suggested.

 

"What is that?"

 

I told her it was unlike any other night at Club Sesso. A completely different crowd; a completely different mood and I would have my toy bag with me.

 

Her ears perked up. She seemed genuinely interested. I had to explain "scening" to her, as I think her BDSM experience was limited to going a little overboard in the vanilla swinger realm. I also had to explain floggers and canes and paddles and any other interesting implements of pleasure and pain that my toy bag might contain.

 

"You will have to take me to have me," she said. This was the consent I was looking for.

 

We wandered upstairs. My buddies were right behind me. Near the orgy bed we continued our conversation. My bravado was at fever pitch.

 

"Turn around. Let me see your ass."

 

Without hesitation she strutted forward.

 

"Ah, it's alright," she said, as my jaw dropped, witnessing one of the tightest little shapely asses I had ever seen in this environment.

 

Then without any additional prompting, she began shimmying out of her skintight jeans. Her pants were now bunched up near her knees. She wore no panties, or if she did, they were cohabiting with her jeans near her ankles.

 

She turned her body towards us and began hiking her tee shirt up to reveal a centerfold body with a tattoo along her side.


She didn't stop there; after her shirt was above her breasts, she popped her left breast out of her brassiere and showed me her pert and perfectly shaped and proportioned tit.

 

We talked about how our scene would go. I guess it was technically our negotiation, but instead of warning each other of what our limits might be, we deliberated further into what we might want to experience that neither of us had done.

 

"I want you to earn control of me." Her provocation was intensified, "And I am going to be mean."

 

"Do whatever you need to do," I told her.

 

I relayed a fantasy of mine in which the lady I was scening with spit on me to make me more aggressive.

 

Instead of the "aw, that's gross," response 99% of the Wednesday Sesso girls would give, she replied with "that's so fucking hot!"

 

“Oh, and bring a shirt you really don’t need.”

 

I knew if this wasn't a dream that November's Twisted Party was going to be the best ever!

 

Accustomed to being stood up as of late, I didn't get my hopes up. The next morning I spent with one of my friendly colleagues (he had spent the night) then did a photo shoot with a lovely lady in the afternoon.

 

The evening was the Thursday Vino Vixens munch. There were a lot of lovely friends there and I did my best to recruit them to the Twisted Party if they were not already planning to go.

 

Around 8:15 I said goodbye to my munch cohorts and moseyed downtown. I was fortunate enough to find a parking spot right in front, which was nice since I had my makeshift toy bag with me (a converted golf bag).

 

Immediately upon entry I was mobbed by the sexy g-spot squirter, who reminds me of the actress Anna Farris. We cuddled and kissed a bit (her sitting on my lap) and I promised her a scene later. Friends were everywhere and it seemed whenever I turned, I was saying "hi" to someone I knew or had met in the kink scene.

 

I do not know what happened next; things were a bit of a blur. Things were happening so fast it was as if I was on some sort of drug trip. Two of the hottest girls in the club actually approached me and asked for spankings!

 

They were short scenes with minimal negotiations - more like tastings -  but I am pretty sure I was making most every Dom in the place quite envious. Hell, I was envious of myself!

 

After the spanking scenes, amidst the other chaos, I remember a tug on my arm from one of the guys from last night. I was having so much fun, and was so not expecting things to really come to fruition, that it took me very unexpectedly.

 

"She's here!"

 

"Where?"

 

"By the lockers."

 

I don’t know when I ever walked so fast. There she was, squatting to put her belongings into a bottom locker. I crept up behind her and like a momma kitty grabbed a huge hunk of the hair right above her neck. She turned and smiled.

 

As is par for the course with most people, she wanted to have a drink before things transpired, but she drank it with an urgency I was unaccustomed to. I had my buddy fetch the drink (which surprisingly he did without any hesitation). She drank her beverage facing me while we chatted, sitting on my lap and grinding to her hips’ content.

 

Earlier, I had alerted the dungeon monitor I was waiting for the St. Andrew’s Cross, and as if the stars aligned, as soon as we walked back downstairs, it opened for us.

 

I strung her up on the cross and she complied without much protest. I am not sure if she expected to begin her struggle immediately. After her wrists were attached, I began a gentle warm-up flogging. It was her first taste of a flogger.

 

As the intensity grew, she got a bit more flustered. I took her by the hair and provoked her more and more. My buddy was holding my toy bag and handed me instruments as quickly as I’d ask him!

 

Even though I was in control, certain things this exciting run together in your mind when you try to recount them.

 

I remember tearing that shirt from her body in a crescendo of passion, exposing her perfect breasts.

 

I remember using her torn shirt as bondage rope, by stringing it around the cross.

 

I recall spinning her around, slapping her ass hard while raising her up off the ground.

 

I remember applying plastic clothespins to those perfect nipples and one on her tight pussy lips.

 

I remember threatening to remove the clothespins with the bashing of my crop.

 

I remember a crowd gathering and humming a kinky version of the Joe Jackson song “Is she really gonna scene with him?”  I wasn't going out with her and I don't think the crowd was really humming it, but it sure seemed like it!

 

She wanted more...

 

Regardless of my tactics, her “give it to me baby” provocation continued. So I gave it to her! Grabbing her hair again, almost smothering her, I planted a Jackie Gleason, “baby, you’re the greatest” French kiss onto her lips.

 

Then it happened.

 

Splat! her saliva landed in my right eye.

 

I was tempted to utter “One of these days, Alice. Pow! Right in the kisser!” but the Honeymooner references hadn’t entered my head until I just now sat down to write this.

 

Instead of a whack to her mouth, I just turned her around again and had her face the crowd, with me whispering in her ear (and wiping my saliva soaked eyebrow on her hair).

 

“I want you to look out into the crowd and pick the person you want to come remove the clothespin from your pussy.”

 

“How about the shy blonde girl over there?”

 

I walked out into the crowd and pointed at her, motioning for the shy blonde to come help out. She removed the clothespin from her pussy then I made her re-apply it, this time to her nipple.

 

Much more happened, I am sure.  I realize I am suffering severe delusions of grandeur at the moment, but a chick like this can do it to ya! Without a doubt it was the best public scene I have ever had.

 

Aftercare was in a room upstairs, but she still wanted to play the struggle card, so I enlisted my buddy to help with restraining her. I took charge in the room, and, well, let’s just say, “what happens in the room, stays in the room.”

 

"Aftercare" lasted up until the closing hours and preempted other scenes I had scheduled. I offer my apologies for anyone I had promised a scene with; I guess I got a little carried away!

 

The only solace I can give you is “you’re next.”

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2010 

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tags:

Why D/s Really is S/d

Folder: 
DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO

 

I quite often hear submissive women uttering things like:

 

"I don't submit to just anyone."

 

Well I pretty much dominate just anyone...if they allow it! 

 

That is the big difference between Dominance and submission.

 

The submissive DOES have the power. Pure and simple.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2009

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Passionate Play

Folder: 
DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO


I am passionate and my passion is generally too intense for most. Many feel that time spent with me is more easily dispensed in small doses. Others enjoy my company, quick wit and charm exciting.

 

I am a recovering extrovert and Provocateur who feeds off the energy of others to recharge and feel alive. If I am not engaged in this sort of relationship (or series of interactions), I am prone to being alone with my thoughts. So it can be overwhelming and takes a little work unless we are enjoying ourselves together.

 

How is this fun accomplished?

 

"I take wallflowers and turn them into centerpieces."

 

I do not crave the spotlight, because in the ideal situation I am the spotlight and shine on those I care about and play with!

 

"I am the 'attention pimp' to her "attention whore.'"

 

So if you're a social introvert, we'd only be a match if you're introversion is able to easily adapt to the spotlight in play situations.

 

I'm very experienced in sensation play, canes, paddles, scene negotiation, vaginal fisting, finger bang that almost always creates a squirting orgasm, rough sex, humiliation, objectification and degradation play, crafting a creative scene, OTK spankings, sexual age play, Wartenberg pinwheel, leading gang bangs, buggy whips, crops and other impact play techniques and can hold my own with a flogger.

 

But Daddy/babygirl is where I shine. I am a natural "Daddy" type so there's no need to try to coax it out of me like there is with other Doms.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2014, 2016 

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Band Names Should Be Banned Names

by Jeph Johnson


Most music these days is far from original. I mean more than half of all songs are either covers or interpolate riffs, lyrics and melodies from other songs.

 

Remember when you discovered the band Duran Duran was named after a character in the cult film Barbarella? Or how Jim Morrison named the Doors after some existential book he read while smoking peyote with Native American ghosts in Arizona? (I'm not so sure that's the story, but that's how my brain remembers it)

 

It actually was creative when bands like Led Zeppelin, Def Leppard and Thin Lizzy, back in the formative years of classic rock, intentionally misspelled the words in their names. And it got creativer (I just made that word up, see how easy it is?) when Prince began spelling his name with a symbol and his "you" as "U", "you're" as "UR", "to" as "2" and "I" as "eye".

 

But just a quick scan of the top 50 makes one wonder if young musicians these days have such a lack of originality that they've started looking at license plates for inspiration for their band names?

 

AOA, Blr, BRKLYN, BTS, CHVRCHES, DNCE, dvsn, KINGDM, KOLAJ, KSHMR, LANco, M83, MGMT, MK, MKTO, MNDR, MNEK, Pvris, RY X, and last but certainly not least, The Weeknd.

 

C'mon, when you ask the lead singer of a band "how'd you think up the name of your band?" and her answer is "it was my email address back in college" that pretty much explains why Donald Trump won the Presidency.

 

And by the way (this goes for FetLife screen names too) why does a 23 year old choose the name WellHung23 or a new rope bottom the name Bunny2016? Do those people only plan on being kinky for just one year?

 

As Steve Miller* so succinctly put it:

"Time. Keeps. On. Slippin'. Slippin'. Slippin'. Into. The. Future."

-

*he also spoke of the pompetus of love.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2016, 2017 

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Dominant by Default, Done Right by Humble Determination

Folder: 
DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO

 

As to the labels "Dom" or "sub", I believe "Dominant" is the default. It takes a lot of very determined hard work to actively submit your will to another. It's much easier to submit with partial deeds and actions.

 

In our community, this "submission to the will" vs. "willingness to submit to certain things" seems to be what separates subs from slaves.

 

Those aspiring to be subs utilize their personal dominance by declaring the submissive role in select relationships.

 

Humility is all that's required of anyone to succeed in the submissive role, and that trait is innately contained in the actions of being submissive. But humility is a much more difficult task to pull off while maintaining a display of dominance, yet it is just as an important element to being a successful Dominant.

 

Humility is all too often seen as weakness, but I would like us to promote a paradigm shift and start seeing humility as strength.

 

Oddly enough, males, referred to as "the stronger sex", appear to me much more eager to display submission less selectively. Or, to use a more positive term, they express submissive qualities more freely.

 

I think this is because men generally don't need to say "I'm submissive...but not to just everyone", like many submissive women preemptively do.

 

I understand why they feel the need to do it, it is because too many men try to take advantage of them based on the patriarchal power society already has in place, even before any declaration of submission or real interpersonal encounter begins.

 

All men need to do is claim to be "Dominant" and ride the pony of privilege advantageously. And who can blame them? It often works. And here is where it gets tricky to not "victim blame."

 

Too often women who are attracted to confidence (which most women are) misread arrogance and bullying as confidence. Those things are actually traits of insecurity.

 

Many women allow this (oftentimes unintentional) abuse to happen. And the male libido is overwhelmingly strong, so it takes the perfect blend of humility, confidence, finesse and most of all restraint for men not to utilize their dominance in an abusive manner.

 

And when I say "abuse" I don't mean intentionally abusing or non-consensually hurting my partner, I mean abuse of the power my male privilege already bestows upon me.

 

Because it is so difficult, I choose to call myself a "Daddy" and not a "Daddy Dom." This doesn't negate the fact that I am voraciously dominant, instead it emphasizes (to me) my need for practicing humble restraint.

 

Which my gender insists I do to the end of my days.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2014

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Thoughts on Subspace, Domspace, Control and Responsiveness

Folder: 
DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO

 

To set the record straight, I think MarcTaylor's writing shown below  DOMSPACE - TLDR: Unresponsive=Unsafe is brilliant. 


That being said, I have found out the hard way that sarcasm is not a good method to use regarding triggering subjects that many people consider tantamount to rape. Sarcasm essentially becomes a "rape joke" and the points you were trying to make become lost to the very people who you most want to hear it.

 

His analogy did inspire me to make some mental comparisons between his "Domspace" idea (which firmly places the Dom in the role of unapologetic abuser or rapist) and the subspace many Bottoms desire to achieve.

 

But I think we are talking two different things:

 

The Top must focus on and be able to display "control."

 

The Bottom must focus on and be able to display "responsiveness."

 

Both the Top and Bottom must be able to COMMUNICATE WITH ONE ANOTHER!

 

So regardless of what a Bottom's declaration regarding how responsive or unresponsive they get in subspace, it's still the Top's responsibility to maintain alertness and control (the power has been entrusted).

 

But I also realized how absurd it can be to put one's self in that situation without plenty of safe guards.

 

The way I look at it, always play with someone who believes they can be alert and responsive enough.

 

That is still not enough. This is why RISK AWARE Consensual Kink (R.A.C.K.) is a better term to use than SAFE, sane and consensual (S, S&C), and why PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY in consensual kink (P.R.I.C.K.) is the ideal.

 

Especially for more seasoned players or in relationships two enter into.

 

A Bottom's prior scenes may get them to say "yeah, I am able to use my safe word/wiggle my fingers/say no", but that first time you both discover they really are not able to do it, it becomes quite devastating if you have pushed passed a boundary.

 

How do I know? This has happened twice to me. Twice have I gone past my play partner's boundaries without being aware of it because no safe word was able to be given. I should say, "twice that I know of", because many Bottoms are afraid to tell me, opting instead to just not play with me again, or "warn others in the community."

 

The feeling is not just "bad scene" devastating, I am talking "life changing devastation" complete with feeling shame for hurting someone you cared deeply for, feeling anger in how it played out when you thought you were doing the right thing, doubting your own sanity, and falling from grace with many former friends who now think you're a monster. The repercussions from an incident like this have brought me a lot of self doubt, anxiety and regret. Add in the fact that I have played with a lot of newbies and younger women, and the label "predator" gets stuck on me.  Never mind that the two women this happened with were both in their late 30s/early 40s and very intelligent.

 

The first instance was with a former babygirl of mine. I whispered into her ear asking for an affirmative reply before proceeding and received the answer: "You do what you have to do, Daddy."

 

The second time was with a different partner several years later. In this scene (our second or third scene together), not only did I not know or realize a boundary was being crossed, she didn't either! It was only after almost a year later that she "realized" she had been in "rope subspace" (from a prior scene, mind you) and could not respond when she was invited into a predominantly sexual scene that was not even really involving me, I just led it.

 

So back to the subject at hand...

 

You wouldn't get into a vehicle that had broken warning lights or speedometer, but I know from experience those signals can fail mid-drive.

Sure, it's "the car's fault."

 

You are tempted to say: "How the heck did I know the engine was overheating, the check engine light never came on?!"

 

But ultimately the driver still is responsible for the vehicle's maintenance as well as driving it safely, even when the meters are not all working.

 

Recently a person on FetLife came to us and proposed dating, playing and potentially ultimately joining our relationship. I was tempted to proceed, since she was quite attractive to me and both of us enjoyed her company.

 

Again to use the car analogy, despite wanting to hop in and go for the ride, we chose to do an "inspection." In doing so, we found out the meters were in a language we just couldn't understand if they were present at all.

 

We set our boundary to not play with her.

 

So the real question I would like to ask in all of this:

 

Who are those who Bottom and become unresponsive in subspace (or have broken meters) supposed to play with if people who know what they're doing (like MarkTaylor) consider it a hard limit?  

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2015.


DOMSPACE - TLDR: Unresponsive=Unsafe

By MarcTaylor 

 

Trigger Warning
This writing mentions "Personal Safety/Responsibility" twice (2).

Something you should know about me, I've been topping for 10+ years now and I've heard about and witnessed many different head-spaces. I want to warn you about mine:

 

DOMSPACE

If you've seen me play or watched any of the MBE feeds the past few years, you may have noticed my collection and affinity for headbands. There's a rumor swirling around out there that I wear them because I'm prone to sweating and it hurts/is annoying when sweat gets in your eyes during a scene. The truth behind the headbands is much darker than you could have ever imagined. The headband is a totem, it's an item I use to unlock a very special headspace I like to call: DOMSPACE. Imagine a brown skinned Bruce Banner without the purple pants. When I go into DOMSPACE I essentially Hulk out, and much like the big green guy in the purple pants I want to destroy everything in front of me, usually whilst yelling "MarcTaylor SMASH!" Unfortunately if you're playing with me at the time that makes you the target. As I transform into this brown skinned monster I become a machine, I find that I loose most if not all control, and my inner Dom (the other guy) just takes over. It's like I'm along for the ride, but can't stop or slow things down. It doesn't matter what or how my partner (victim) and I negotiated, when I'm in DOMSPACE Yellow and Red mean nothing to me and no matter what safe-word is used I can't stop myself from causing pain and ignoring consent. When I'm in DOMSPACE I become unresponsive. Do or say what you want to try and protect yourself, it won't matter until after the scene is finished and the headband is removed. Also, if you ask me about DOMSPACE during a negotiation, I may or may-not mention it, if you don't ask, I certainly won't bring it up. OK, who wants to play?

 

Ridiculous right?

 

I was at Shibaricon last week in a class on advanced negotiations. During the class the topic of personal responsibility came up. -Elwood-, who was teaching the class, made a suggestion that if you're bottoming, you must keep one foot anchored in the real world. By all means seek out and find sub-space, or fairyland, or your pain palace, or whatever it is you seek, but please leave part of yourself in the scene to monitor and mention when your fingers start to tingle, or to say yellow if need be. A female identified bottom (look how politically correct that was) argued that she is unresponsive when she plays, and still safe. The male identified top person (I did it again) sitting next to her added, "when you play with her she get's downright unconscious for 3-5 minutes if you're doing it right". The female identified bottom person (3/3) went on to explain, "the Dom I play with has no morals and no conscience, in fact he'd literally keep beating you until he killed you if he weren't stopped. When I play with him I have another Top, who knows me and my body, stand by to tell him when to end our scenes, since I won't be able to." Now, the amazing thing here isn't that with billions of people on the planet the female identified bottom (4/4) who goes mute and can't protect herself in anyway, against all odds, paired up with the top who would "LITERALLY" kill her if he weren't stopped. I mean, holy shit! Cupid must just want to watch the world burn. The amazing thing is this was all said to the class as if it were a brag or a point of pride we should all take note of.

 

My personal opinion: I'm not the safety police, in fact, I'm probably on the most wanted list. I'm not here to stand on or establish a new moral high ground. If when you play as a Top or Bottom, you go unresponsive and can't communicate in anyway in either direction, I don't want to play with you because I feel that you are unsafe and represent a risk to me and my personal safety and liability. The blanket statement, "I was in a headspace that didn't allow me to communicate with you" is a Hard Limit for me. Red! Red! Red! If you are bottoming with me and you can't say or communicate in any way any of the following: "yellow", "red", "I've changed my mind", "I'm loosing feeling in my spleen", or "can we get pizza when we're done?", I'm sorry but I love pizza too much to play with you. This doesn't mean I don't like you, it just means I like pizza, and my own safety more (also Oxford Commas).

 

CLARIFICATION: Sarcasm... to Clarify: I don't REALLY go into DOMSPACE, it was simply a satirical literary tool to help illustrate a point.

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"Mean Skene"

by DaddyO

 

My apologies go out to dozens of women whom

I mistakenly misled to believe they weren't peeing

When they squirted during my fingering.

 

You apparently were.

 

But look at it this way:

 

I apparently like drinking piss.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2015 

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A Plea to Stop Calling it a "D/s Relationship"

Folder: 
DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO

 

Something I wished I'd learned at the beginning of my kink journey is that the archetype we call the "D/s Relationship" is not the way we all have to model our relationships on.

 

Dom/sub is only one small option in this whole wide world of kinky sex!
I regret many of the missteps I made early on attempting to dominate a bottom or masochist when in truth she was just seeking a playmate to top her. Many of my early play partners, who were just as new as I was, simply defaulted to a foreign "submissive" role because they felt that was the expectation, or worse yet, didn't realize they had any other options.

 

Sure, dominance was what I ultimately desired, and submission may have been her eventual desire too, but neither of us had even remotely mastered topping and bottoming. So what business did either of us have catapulting into those roles so early?

 

Websites like Collarme.com didn't help any, giving you "Dom", "sub" and "switch" as the only choices to identify. FetLife at least allows you to put down "top" and "bottom" as your role, but they still don't allow you to put that down in the "looking for" section. Heck they don't even allow you to be looking for a "Dom" or "Domme", opting instead for "Master/Mistress" and "sub/slave." Why they even have a "looking for" section in one's profile is odd, since they always claim to not be a hook-up site!

 

A Lifetime Relationship (LTR)
A Relationship
A Mentor/Teacher
Someone To Play With
A Princess By Day, Slut By Night
Friendship
A Master
A Mistress
A sub
A slave

 

Now that I am six years into my journey, when newbies ask, I always suggest to the s-types they should learn to bottom long before tackling submission. Just as d-types should hone their topping skills before attempting to dominate.

 

So why do we automatically call pairings in the kink world "D/s" or "power exchange" when they often are just kinky people topping and bottoming?
No, D/s and M/s are amazing ways to practice kink, but they are not the template we all should adhere to and certainly NOT the catch phrase kinksters should label WIITWD.

 

Once educated, many people find they're comfortable remaining in the top/bottom, sadist/masochist or (in my case) the Daddy/babygirl dynamic.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2015 

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Risky Business

Folder: 
DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO

 

BDSM is by nature risky and dangerous.

 

There is a constant energy exchange.

 

The power play and mind-fuckery of D/s is just that, a fucked up power play!

 

The extreme highs and sad lows of sadism and masochism mirror a roller coaster of euphoric scenes followed by debilitating subdrop...

 

BDSM makes everyone to some degree bi-polar!

 

If someone already is predisposed to that sort of condition, it is amplified and likely going to snap when the trigger of a break-up occurs.

 

During the break-up of a D/s union, Not only is the bond with that person severed, the bond of the addiction to the thrill has ceased!

 

Everyone is broken in some way or another. Kinksters, it is implied by the very word "kink", have a kink in the wire already...at least in the way most are wired!

 

Every person has gone through breakups with every romantic relationship we have been in save for the one(s) we are in now.

 

The relationship may be broken, but it is how we handle ourselves during the aftermath - through the turmoil of rumors, accusations, misrepresentations and lies - that makes or breaks us as individuals.

 

Many offer the words "this too shall pass" but I prefer to add "new things will arrive."

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2013 

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