FetLife

Curious Hard Limits

by DaddyO

 

Why do Fetlifers feel the need to tell the world they are not into incest?

 

"Well Sis, I never really thought of you in this way before except that one time....remember back in 2003 when you forgot to shut the bathroom door and I saw the side of your boob when you were getting out of the shower? And you quickly put the towel around yourself? Yeah. Well, I have been wondering ever since if maybe you just might have done it on purpose to tempt me. I am so glad to finally find you on Fetlife and upon reading through your profile see no mention at all of being against incest! Yippee! Let's fuck!!"

 

And bestiality is even stranger. I have never seen an animal who could read a profile, let alone use a computer.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2013 

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Damn, If I Would Just Stop Fucking So Many Ladies, I Would Be Able to Fuck More Ladies

by DaddyO

 

I have mixed feelings, but I generally feel honored to be the poster boy for those "actively looking for sexual play."

 

The fact that there are supposedly "not a whole lot of ladies who have not been involved with me" makes me beam proudly.

 

This "reputation" helped secure my year and a half Daddy/babygirl relationship with the precious tanyatoy, who was at the time the most cherished gift I had ever received in the sexual/BDSM realm. She was the most awe inspiring woman I had ever encountered; true to herself as well as a joy to everyone she met. And ya know what, she was "warned" about me too! And she confesses that my reputation actually intrigued her more.

 

Still I find it odd that so many people need to warn others about me. Not once has anyone said who these mysterious people actually are.

 

Here are the main warnings women recieve about me:

 

"DaddyO is a predator."

 

"DaddyO just wants them for sex."

 

"DaddyO just goes after the young naive newbies.

 

"I don't like the way DaddyO treats his women."

 

Could this be because I aggressively go after sex with attractive women and treat them in consensual ways that most of society deems inappropriate?

I guess I could passively practice celibacy, hanging out with people I don't find attractive while conforming to society's norm.

 

No, thank you. I did that already...the first 35+ years of my life.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2012 

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About You Oxymoron

Folder: 
DaddyO's BDSM

 by DaddyO 

 

How come on Fetlife

for your sexuality

we have the option of

putting down

"fluctuating"

(when mine

pretty much

stays the same a

ll the time)

but for our activity level,

which seems to always

be in flux,

we have to

put down

an absolute?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2010

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tags:

An Open Letter to Sydney University

by DaddyO

 

WARNING: Sydney University and all other institutions using this or any other of my information from any adult pornographic site for projects - You do have permission to use my profile information and likeness in any form or forum both current and future as long as you address me as:

 

"The Almighty Daddy-O, King of the Uber-Daddy Doms"

 

If you don't follow this rule to the letter, you will not only be considered a pervert and you might rot in Hell for all eternity, but it will be also be considered a violation of my privacy and you will be subject to legal action.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2010 

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Band Names Should Be Banned Names

by Jeph Johnson


Most music these days is far from original. I mean more than half of all songs are either covers or interpolate riffs, lyrics and melodies from other songs.

 

Remember when you discovered the band Duran Duran was named after a character in the cult film Barbarella? Or how Jim Morrison named the Doors after some existential book he read while smoking peyote with Native American ghosts in Arizona? (I'm not so sure that's the story, but that's how my brain remembers it)

 

It actually was creative when bands like Led Zeppelin, Def Leppard and Thin Lizzy, back in the formative years of classic rock, intentionally misspelled the words in their names. And it got creativer (I just made that word up, see how easy it is?) when Prince began spelling his name with a symbol and his "you" as "U", "you're" as "UR", "to" as "2" and "I" as "eye".

 

But just a quick scan of the top 50 makes one wonder if young musicians these days have such a lack of originality that they've started looking at license plates for inspiration for their band names?

 

AOA, Blr, BRKLYN, BTS, CHVRCHES, DNCE, dvsn, KINGDM, KOLAJ, KSHMR, LANco, M83, MGMT, MK, MKTO, MNDR, MNEK, Pvris, RY X, and last but certainly not least, The Weeknd.

 

C'mon, when you ask the lead singer of a band "how'd you think up the name of your band?" and her answer is "it was my email address back in college" that pretty much explains why Donald Trump won the Presidency.

 

And by the way (this goes for FetLife screen names too) why does a 23 year old choose the name WellHung23 or a new rope bottom the name Bunny2016? Do those people only plan on being kinky for just one year?

 

As Steve Miller* so succinctly put it:

"Time. Keeps. On. Slippin'. Slippin'. Slippin'. Into. The. Future."

-

*he also spoke of the pompetus of love.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2016, 2017 

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Why I Chose to Leave a Group I Was in on FetLife

Folder: 
DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO

 

The public newsgroup post said:

 

Grey, dominant man seeks 18- 22 yo slut to abuse

I've reached that point in life where I want only fresh meat - young and tender. I also have left behind inhibitions. If you want to put yourself in the hands of a man who will show you just how big a slut you are - you know what to do. Do it now.


The reply I intended to post:

 

- Grey
Not so subtle reference to a certain uber-popular book?
- Abuse
Perhaps not the best choice of words considering we are supposed to report "abuse." How about "consentual humiliation"?
- Fresh meat
Again, you appear to be doing the objectifying before consent has been granted.
- Do it now
A person in the Dominant role (which you claim to desire in this scenario) gets consent before telling their sub (or "slut") what and when to do something.
Would you like some help rewording your personal ad?


...until I read the group rules. Apparently this sort of "play" is allowed because by even joining the group a "young slut" is consenting to being treated without concern for her consent.


Now that's at best "tricky" and at worst "predatory and abusive."

 

But what do I know?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2014 

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tags:

Fetishes

Folder: 
DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO

 

My Fetishes:
Into: "i love daddyo" t-shirts (watching others wear), "slut" as a term of endearment, a sexy goatee (wearing), a swat on the butt in public (giving), adaptability, admitting when i am wrong, aftercare, aftercare for tops (receiving), age play, aggressive sexual dominance (giving), almost kissing, appearing wantonly, artistic ability, asking questions instead of guessing, attempting karaoke while receiving oral sex, attention (receiving), babygirl giggles (receiving), back of neck touching, bald headed scalp massage (receiving), bare bottom spanking (giving), bare legs in bathtubs, being 100% unapologetic about who i am, being a reaction junkie, being appreciated & adored, being caught in an aftercare as foreplay loop, being extroverted, being faithful, being giggly after an awesome orgasm, being in charge, being in control, being inimitable, being on the same page, being right, being someone's first to try something with, being the best lover you've ever had, being the reason everyone smiles, being the reason you have to shower, being the reason you're sore the next day, being there for the ones you love, being unique, belt spanking (giving), biting, bizarre object insertion (giving), bj alarm clock (receiving), blasphemy, blindfolds (giving), blow jobs (receiving), blushing (watching), body hair (wearing), boney shins (wearing), braces (watching others wear), brat beard (wearing), breast spanking (giving), breast/nipple play (giving), brown eyed waitresses, brown eyes (watching others wear), bruises (giving), caning, caressing, challenging me when we disagree, challenging other people's ways of thinking, cheerleading uniforms (watching others wear), choking the chicken (receiving), chubby cheeked girls with bangs and big eyes, claws, clear definition of expectations, clit kissing, clit spanking, clit sucking, clothespins, clover clamps (giving), club privata, club sesso alumni, cock gnawing (receiving), combining aggression and tenderness (giving), commitment, communication, communication even when it's complicated, compersion (receiving), complimenting one another, computers that work, consensual armpit sniffing, consensual pussy grabbing (giving), consensually using women as sex objects, controlling sluts, controlling you with a fistful of your hair, conversing while being fondled, conversing while fondling, creampie robin (watching), creativity, cuddles, cunnilingus, cunnilingus to fast times at ridgemont high (giving), cunt punting, cute little girl voices, daddy's purple turtle (giving), daddy/babygirl, daddyo's memory foam mattress pad (giving), dd/lg, deliciously sore pussy (giving), dildos, dimples (watching others wear), disney channel alumni (watching), doing dirty things in inappropriate places, domestic servitude (receiving), dominating anyone who lets me, drying your tears, e-cigarette, emotional monogamy, english caning (giving), enthusiastic consent (receiving), erectile dysfunction medication (receiving), erotic photography, ethical nonmonogamy, euphemism, exhibitionism, explaining my jokes, puns and parodies, eye contact (receiving), eyes that are two different colors (watching), f o r c e d orgasm (giving), face fucking (giving), face sitting/smothering (receiving), face slapping (giving), facial hair (wearing), fast times at ridgemont high (watching), fear (giving), fellatio (receiving), female ejaculation (giving), females, fidelity without monogamy, finding her "holy fuck" button, finger fucking in the car, fingering (giving), fishnets (watching others wear), fisting (giving), flared nostrils, flashing (watching), flirting, flogging (giving), fly swatters, foot massage, football (watching), footie pajamas (watching others wear), forgiveness, frantic rhyme, freckles (watching others wear), freedom of expression, freedom of speech, fuck me eyes (receiving), fucked and/or played with while sleeping or half awake, fucking a brat into submission, fucking to the cure, gangbangs (giving), getting off on getting your partner off, girls that get wet when they're spanked, glass dildos (giving), gothic beauty magazine, grabbed by the hair, bent over and fucked (giving), grabbing hips during sex, hair brushing (giving), hair petting (giving), hair pulling (giving), hairbrush spanking (giving), hard points (receiving), having chemistry, having my beliefs challenged, head rubs (receiving), head shaving (wearing), head underneath my kilt (receiving), hearing "i'm cumming for you, daddy", hearing both sides before deciding, hitachi wand, hitting love_ly's butt, honesty, honor (receiving), huge object insertion (giving), humiliation (giving), hygiene, ihop aftercare, impulsive optimists, incorrigibility, innocent and sweet looking girls, inserting boric acid capsules in your cunt, intelligent women, intelligent, constructive debate, intensity, interactive lap (giving), interracial sex, introducing newbies to the local scene, kissing, knee high socks (watching others wear), lap sitting (receiving), leaving marks, licking sweet things off of daddyo's head (receiving), lingerie (watching others wear), lipstick (watching others wear), lords of acid, lots and lots of gray chest hair (wearing), love_ly's butt (everything to do with it), making home movies, making out while listening to helen reddy, making the perfect cup of coffee for daddyo (receiving), male multiple orgasms (receiving), massages, master plunger, may-december relationships, mead hall dungeon, meaningful sex, miniskirts (watching others wear), morning wood (wearing), multiple orgasms (giving), music, mutual masturbation, my marks (watching others wear), necks, nipple sucking, licking and biting (giving), nipslips (watching), not getting burned for being open and honest, noticing hot girls add fetishes from my list, nudity (watching), nuzzling into daddyo's chest hair (receiving), nymphomania (receiving), obedience (receiving), objectification (giving), obvious acts of dominance in public (giving), oral servitude (pussy worship and ass worship) for hours (giving), oral sex, orgasm denial to everyone (giving), orgasms, otk spanking (giving), outdoor sex, over-sharing, pain (giving), paintoy.com (watching), passion, people who are available (receiving), people with positive energy, performing domestic servitude for daddyo (receiving), perky nipples, personal freedom, phone sex, pigtails (watching others wear), pinching (giving), pizza, pizza baron pizza, poetry, pointy nipples, polyfidelity, polysexuality, pop rocks blow jobs (receiving), popping the squirting cherry (giving), pouncing on my next innocent victim, power exchange, predator/prey, primal sex, public humiliation (giving), punching (giving), puns (giving), pussy spanking, raunchy sexual play without actually fucking, really feeling your love, reciprocal devotion, recognizing thinking errors, red cheeks club, resistance play, respect, rorschach wetspots (giving), rough sex, rough, aggressive play, rubbing daddy's sore feet after a long day (receiving), rubbing love_ly's butt, sapiosexuality, saying 'yes, this' to things daddyo says (receiving), scent, scratching daddyo's back with a plastic fork (receiving), sensation play, sensation sluts, sensual caning (giving), sensual domination (giving), sensual play, service-oriented submission (receiving), sex, sex in public, sexual ageplay, sexual objectification, shadownite neck rubs (receiving), shallow-throating (receiving), shameless self promotion, shaving daddyo's face and head (receiving), shoes (wearing), silliness, slapping (giving), sleepy sex, slug fucking, slut by day, princess by night, slutty girls, small tits, smiles, snoring lovers, snuggling, soft hands on a hard cock (receiving), someone to cuddle with (receiving), spanking, spitting (giving), spooning, squeaky clean dirty girls, squirting (giving), squirting in daddy's face (receiving), squirting orgasms (giving), stress-relief beatings (giving), submission (receiving), subtle acts of submission in public (receiving), sucking your clit till you squirt, sumptuoussam's lips (receiving), supporting the rights of others, talking dirty, tearing off clothing, teleiophilia (receiving), telling your slut who to fuck, text striptease (watching), the catalyst dungeon, the gift of submission (receiving), the phrase "i'm cumming for you, daddy" (receiving), the velvet rope swingers club, tit pinching (giving), tit slapping (giving), toe sucking (receiving), tommy turtle (giving), touching, transparency, trolling for 20-somethings, using daddy's cock as a pacifier (giving), using random household items for completely perverted purposes, vaginal stretching from daddyo (giving), valhalla house, vanilla, vape, vapor inhalation, verbal humiliation and degradation (giving), viagra (receiving), vibrators, waitresses, wanting to fuck people that live far away.., whips, women who like bernie sanders, women who look younger than their age, women with mohawks, writing objectifying words on your body, young women, young women being sluts for older men.

 

 

Curious about: accents, accountability, animalistic sex, antarctican nonagenarians, babysubdoll, balanced energy exchange, beets, being blacklisted, being predatory, bible spanking (watching), bimboification (giving), bjs from girls in pjs (receiving), blowing up winnierider's doughnut seat, bottoming from the top (receiving), bowling pin insertion (giving), canning (no, really putting things in cans), creepy (watching), daddy's cockadoodledoo song (giving), degredation (giving), doms who will dominate 'just anyone', energy play, fucking, fucking artsnob's earlobe (watching), getting fucked hard by a leprechaun (watching), giving compersion, graphoerotica, hard limits? i call them erect limits, human doll (watching), i'll do what i told you to tell me to do, kitten petplay (receiving), kitty cat cuddle puddles, laughtercare (giving), letting go of the past, letting go of the past and living for today, love, me (i always feel like somebody's) (watching), meaningless sex (watching), monogamy, naked people riding bikes (watching), not playing with daddyo, not pulling other's triggers, older women, one who reciprocates commitment, out their welcome in the local scene (watching others wear), parking lot bjs to prove your submission (receiving), prada (if you're the devil) (watching others wear), pulling daddyo's beard (receiving), retroactive consent (watching), satyriasis, service (receiving), sex in a rabbit hutch, sex olympics, sex with strangers, sharing my brat with my friends, sleep (receiving), sloth sex, snarkgasmic women, soccer moms with great breasts, speed munching (watching), submissive women, subs who will submit to 'just anyone' (watching), taking control of your next breath, the 51st shade of grey, the detectives (watching), the wheels go round and round (watching), tit stickers (watching others wear), total power exchange (receiving), trust (giving), truthful accusations (receiving), unintentionally stirring up drama, utter abandon to our carnal cravings, your lovely lady lumps (watching).

 

 

Soft limits: anime, brats (watching), chakra energy play, eye contact restrictions, gas masks (wearing), liquor (receiving), outdoor bondage, self-bondage, smoking.

 

 

Hard limits: anal beads (receiving), anal chastity, anal sex (receiving), anal stretching (receiving), armbinders (wearing), ball kicking (receiving), ballbusting (receiving), ballet boots/shoes (wearing), bathroom use control, ben wa balls (receiving), bondage (receiving), branding (receiving), breeding, catheters, chastity, cigars, dalliance fun at the tl, decorative cutting, deep throating (giving), diapers (wearing), emotional masochism, encasement fetish, face farting, fire flogging, fire play, fish hooks, flesh hooks, hemp rope, high heels (wearing), hojojutsu, human ashtray, human toilet, impregnation fantasy, infidelity, japanese bondage, klismaphilia, large objects (receiving), mistresses with strap-ons, muscle worship, old guard slavery, orgasm denial, petticoats (wearing), posture collars (wearing), rope bondage/suspension, shibari, sissy training (receiving), staples (receiving), strap-ons (receiving), superheroes (giving), suspension, toilet, uncut cock (wearing), urethral fucking, urethral sounds, vacuum bed (receiving), zentai.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2009-2017

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I Am Proud Of My Antarctic Heritage

by DaddyO

 

PROLOGUE

I was born, raised and spent my formative years in Antarctica. My Mother was indeed the most beautiful woman in the world. I always wondered how she accomplished this but turns out it was simply genetic. Every woman from my country is drop dead gorgeous, or a "ten" as I recall from when men were comparing my Mom to Bo Derek back in the day.

 

When I lived there, it was a more innocent age. Antarctica was lush and green and feminine beauty was white as the snow. Every woman from my memory was youthful, sexy and innocent looking.

 

There were no personal computers...meaning no FetLife.

 

There were no cell phones...so there was no "sexting."

 

Hell I don't believe there were even any Hitachi Magic Wands!

 

And there wasn't any talk of "climate change" either.

 

But little did I know, there was to be a revolution: The sexual climate of my country was going to take a major turn...very soon!

 

THE ENEMY: AUSTRALIAN SEX STUDIES

You see, there are no colleges in Antarctica. The closest school of higher learning is the University of Sydney in Australia. The cool kids attended one of the Sydney Educational Colleges (AKA SECs).

 

Yes having SECs initiate you into the world just after high school graduation was common, at least for the first four years. But I wasn't a cool kid. I never had any SECs to learn from.

 

While it was no SECs for me, I am still grateful: just before the devastation, Mom, bless her soul, ended up leaving and moving us to the United States.

The American media refused to cover the story of the revolution, instead enlisting Sesame Street veteran Morgan Freeman to make grossly inaccurate propaganda films.

 

That is why I chose to make my recent journey back to my homeland to learn the truth and document the habits of the populace there. What I have found will astound you.

 

REASON FOR REVOLT

From memory I can say when I lived there, Antarctic sexual culture was harmonious and carefree. But this freedom was misunderstood by the rest of the world.

 

The Australian people felt there was a lull in the training and education of sexuality for the Antarctic people so the Sexual Education staff of the University of Sydney started a task force and called it the Sexual Education Department's Understated Creative Energy (SEDUCE). The intention was to send SEDUCE on a fact finding mission to Antarctica for the efforts of conducting studies of the habits of the people of Antarctica.

 

Unfortunately this "research" became a merciless invasion of the Antarctic people's privacy. Professors and students wanting a doctorate ravaged the lush terrain of Antarctica. The fact that every Antarctic female was insatiably horny and a "10" didn't help matters. The Sydney University invasion drove everyone underground! The land became barren and cold as ice!

 

The people of Antarctica had to do something so they passed very restrictive laws on Sydney University researchers. On websites like FetLife this is evidenced by those of us who still remember the horror, by the many online disclaimers you will see throughout the different FetLife members' "about me" section.

 

Since the laws were enacted, the graduation rate of Sydney University dropped drastically. In Sydney most university students, in order to get their degree, still need to do research and conduct surveys to get their thesis' done. In order for this to be sanctioned (but still frowned upon) in Antarctica, when they head there to do their research, they are instructed to wear a lanyard around their necks in order to identify themselves to the Antarctic people.

 

During the revolutionary years (circa 1982-present), Sydney University students were given conditional diplomas despite their research being incomplete. One-Thousand students "graduated" with the expectation that they complete their research in a less hostile and invasive manner.

 

Under the Sydney Educational Alumni Lanyard System (SEALS) these endeavors are finally being accomplished. It is a painstakingly slow process. Those who identify with the SEALS make regular travels back and forth from Australia to Antarctica. But due to this red tape, their research is very suspect. Hence another reason for my research.

 

MY ANTARCTICA

The Antarctic statesman Durango Duran wrote my homeland's national anthem while in exile in New Zealand. The song was suppressed in the rest of the world, and this tender ballad quickly faded into obscurity by the mid 1980s. In 1990 a well known British pop group (who idolized Duran so much they named their band after him) added their version of "My Antarctica" as a B-side to one of their singles, and to this day remains the only known recording of the song:

 

"My Antarctica"

by D. Duran


Once I thought that I was in control
But that was just another trick of fate
Playing with my life
There have been some times
I was so tied up
And I said to myself
Gotta break it all
But didn't really try
Two hearts beating in this place you've made
You know nothing changes my Antarctica
You can make your rhymes
And paint your rules
In black and white
For me to memorize
But never understand
And there will be time
For a thousand vows
Oh a thousand promises
We forgot
To be realized
Two hearts beating in this place you've made
You know nothing changes my Antarctica
One life pumping
We make love to make our heat
And we throb in my Antarctica
We'll keep the rhythm going
And we'll remember
We'll keep the laughter flowing
And we'll remember
We let the music jangle
And we'll remember
Two hearts beating in this place you've made
You know nothing changes my Antarctica
One life pumping
We make love to make our heat
And we throb in my Antarctica
Caught and sheltered this is what we made
You know I will stay here
In Antarctica
And you
Will stay here
With me

 

FODDER FOR THE FAP

The FetLife Antarctic Population (also known as FAP) at the time of this writing is well over 14,000 people. It consists almost entirely of drop dead gorgeous females who take on the role of the "reclusive exhibitionist." They have had no choice; the fact that Antarctic women have off the charts libidos as well as were driven underground, what would you expect from an overwhelming majority of them? They have insatiable exhibitionistic needs!

 

RECLUSIVE EXHIBITIONISM

These Reclusive Exhibitionistic Antarctic Ladies (REAL women) are proud of their status. Many indeed proclaim how REAL they are when you send them a message to get to know them.

 

Due to my absence from the SECs workshops, I was vanilla in my formative years and only acquired my kink status after most of my Antarctic heritage was forgotten. I still feel erotic joy hearing an Antarctic accent. It most closely resembles the inflection you hear in "babygirl talk" (not to be confused with "baby talk" which is that "ga-ga, goo-goo" stuff).

 

There are no cell phone towers or carriers in Antarctica, so the country relies exclusively on webcams rather than text messages for correspondence.

 

EXTRA NORMALCY

The male population of Antarctica is much smaller now (most hot moms moved the males out to places like the U.S. and Canada). Due to this, it has one of the largest percentage of the world's extra normal guys. These men have been vanilla as long as they can remember and come onto FetLife at night for no other reason than to stimulate their average libidos.

 

This nocturnal activity extends into the early morning, as noted by the percentage of Antarcticans in the People who are awake at 3:00 a.m. FetLife group and large percentage who identify as vampires or have a blood fetish.

 

The exhibitionistic needs of the female populace has made the men of Antarctica very paranoid. Not only do they have a fear that men from other parts of the world are going to take their women from them (there is proof that they are!), they themselves, being of such "extra normal" status, are not able to hook up with these Antarctic woman. Yearly efforts are undertaken, as documented in the Morgan Freeman film. Thankfully the life span of an Antarctic person is well past that of people in other parts of the world.

 

THE PLAGUE OF PARANOIA

Antarctic men seldom are truly kinky themselves and generally pick a FetLife D/s role out of a top hat.

 

It is a vicious circle for the Paranoid Extra Normal Guy Unconsciously Intimidated Nocturnally (PENGUIN). His paranoia and insistence on only corresponding with the REAL populace via webcam, coupled with the magnificent and near perfect conditions of Antarctica which allows the aging process to become non-existent for her, means these REAL women are nearly 100% single.

 

The ones who aren't generally have open relationships with husbands, Doms or Masters from other parts of the world. Indeed the median age of a REAL Antarctic women is 92, and this is considered the age in which the Antarctic female is at her most beautiful.

 

"And every year they embark on a nearly impossible journey to find a mate." ~Morgan Freeman, in one of the only accurate quotes from March of the Penguins

 

REAL women have high libidos and PENGUIN's have, as noted in the acronym, "extra normal" male libidos. This means sexual things are always going on en masse.

 

The PENGUIN's reclusive nature and unconscious naivety keep him holed up in his room interacting with REAL women all the time. The sexual practices of Antarctic people consist mostly of masturbation and, for the REAL woman; "two-girl shows."

 

OVERSEAS SEXUAL JUNKETS

Prostitution is illegal here too. But the business of cashing in on the sexuality of these amazingly sexy REAL woman is the main form of Antarctic commerce. Traditional "penis in vagina" sex by REAL women only occurs when men from other parts of the world use tokens to take them on traveling sex junkets.

 

These Junket Excursions Relying Kinetically On Financial Funding (JERKOFF) by men in the rest of the world, and the *Junket Aversions Relying Kinetically On Financial Funding" (JACKOFF) of the PENGUINS keeps the Antarctic economy booming.

 

THE ANTARCTIC NATIONAL ANTHEM

A closer analysis of the beautiful Antarctic national anthem's lyrics show the extent sexuality and the revolution has had on the Antarctic culture and mindset:

 

Once I thought that I was in control but that was just another trick of fate
(The first line of the song, sung by a PENGUIN, refers to the paranoia exhibited by the male populace about their women being taken away from them. The "trick of fate" is the desperation Antarcticans feel over the Sydney University plague.)

 

Playing with my life there have been some times I was so tied up and I said to myself gotta break it all but didn't really try.
(This references the underground exodus and also hints at the propensity of the Antarctican men's introversion and the Antarctic people's affinity towards BDSM- specifically "bondage" in this instance.)

 

Two hearts beating in this place you've made, you know nothing changes my Antarctica


You can make your rhymes, and paint your rules in black and white for me to memorize
(A nod to the lanyards and strict rules enacted as a result of the SEALS revolution.)

 

But never understand and there will be time for a thousand vows oh a thousand promises we forgot to be realized.
(Antarctic legend implies that the old more carefree days will return after all of the Sydney University students are able to graduate. At the time of the writing of the song, there was said to be "1,000" students who have useless "diplomas" and still pending graduations. Now, in 2013, the numbers are closer to 750)

 

Two hearts beating in this place you've made, you know nothing changes my Antarctica.

One life pumping, we make love to make our heat.
(Due to the climate change, Antarctica is now frigid and making love is a necessity more for warmth than procreative intentions.)

 

And we throb in my Antarctica. We'll keep the rhythm going.


And we'll remember. We'll keep the laughter flowing.


And we'll remember. We let the music jangle.


And we'll remember. Two hearts beating in this place you've made.
(The chants of "And we'll remember" references the Antarctic people's commitment to remembering the atrocities Sydney University has placed upon their way of life)

 

You know nothing changes my Antarctica. One life pumping. We make love to make our heat.

 

And we throb in my Antarctica. Caught and sheltered this is what we made.
(The shelter refers to the mass underground exodus)

 

You know I will stay here in Antarctica, and you will stay here with me.
(Every PENGUIN's wish is for the REAL women to stay forever in Antarctica and not take a JERKOFF cruise)

 

DURANGO DURAN'S LEGACY

This wasn't Durango Duran's only ode to Antarctica, seven years later the band who idolized him made a video about how the REAL Antarctic woman are so brazenly shipped overseas to develop D/s relationships and incorporated it in their "Electric Barbarella" music video. You should try to find it on YouTube. 

 

EPILOGUE

I only have one thing to declare: I am proud of my Antarctic heritage! It has made me who I am today.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2013

It was common for kinksters on FetLife who wanted to remain anonymous to list their location as "Antarctica" and their age as high as possible (in the 90s). This practice was most commonly employed by extremely gorgeous webcam models.  This is what inspired this satirical "autobiographical" writing. 

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