BDSM

Helping Newbies Without Being Labeled "Predatory"

Folder: 
DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO

 

Despite the criticism of countless newbies that munches are cliquish and "no one approached or talked with them" I am often criticized for trying to help those same people enter into the local scene.

 

No wonder established kinksters keep to cliquish groups and don't engage with newcomers!

 

The word "predatory" is often evoked.

 

My outgoing, open, honest and friendly behavior is interpreted as "pouncing" on newbies for play opportunities. And this "pouncing" is seen as somehow hurtful to the newbie and beneficial only to me.

 

I assist people of all genders, sexes, D/s roles, relationship statuses and orientations in many different ways to enter into the scene. I introduce them to dungeon owners, riggers, people with shared interests, as well as other leaders in the community.

 

If they show an interest in exploring bottom/ babygirl/ submissive/ masochist/ sensation slut roles, one of those resources to give is to inform them of the services and availability of local Daddies, Doms, Tops and Reaction Junkies. Well I happen to be all of those!

 

For what it's worth there are countless other times I associate with people and the topic of play with me never comes up.

 

Still, when I offer this information, it quite often is going to be seen by those less extroverted as "predatory" because it quite often does benefit me. But that it benefits me doesn't dictate that it automatically is injurious or the newbie is taken advantage of. Quite the contrary. My Daddy and protector instinct is not going to allow that.

 

I am undoubtedly one of the most extroverted people in the local scene, therefore there will always be many people who see me this way.

 

But I am not making excuses, I do have a fetish for flirting as well as "introducing newbies into the scene" so even if the question of play does not directly get mentioned, the very act of helping a newbie get his or her feet acclimated into our local scene is a sort of "play" for me.

 

But what about my invitations to head over to Club Privata right after the munch? How is that not predatory?

 

Well they're not usually invitations to play. They are invitations for the newbie to observe and get acquainted with the local kinksters in their natural habitat.

 

Think of the munch as a trip to the zoo and Club Privata like a safari in the wild.

 

So yeah, it is a jungle out there but I hope for the most part I can be seen as the warm protective teddy bear rather than the predatory grizzly from now on.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2013 

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How I Learned to be Dominant Without Someone Actively Submitting to Me

Folder: 
DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO

 

My old theory that I am "not a Dom unless someone is actively submitting to me" I have found to be false.

 

I am Dominant because I express dominant qualities and character traits and strive to be in control. This is true regardless of whether or not someone is submitting to me.

 

Before this realization, the statement "I will dominate/control anyone who allows me" made me feel like I was dependent on the sub "making" me or worse yet, "validating" me as a Dominant.

 

Now I understand that I don't need anyone submitting to me. The mere fact that I am selective in doing the domination (towards only those who agree to submit to me) means I am exercising restraint and control on myself. And that is always the goal of any Dom, to first be in control of himself before controlling others. I am dominant because I am almost always in the mindset to dominate and control.

 

This epiphany happened yesterday at the bar. A group of my friends were sitting around the table talking. There were some empty dinner plates on the table that were sort of in the way. Automatically I picked them up and cleared them from the table.

 

Seeing an action that is quite often attributed to someone in a submissive role, a kinky guy at the table said:

 

"So, DaddyO's being submissive now, huh?"

 

I thought long and hard. "No, this was not an act of submission on my part at all."

 

I chose to clear the plates away.

 

It was something I wanted

 

...and I delegated the clearing of the plates to the person most willing and open to the task: myself!

 

I trust this new way of thinking will help me appreciate people who do "short acts of submission and bottoming to me" even more.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2012 

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DaddyO Has a Small Dick and Can't Get it Up!

Folder: 
DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO

 

Overheard at Club Sesso (after I did a scene with a beautiful woman and didn't fuck her):

 

"I don't think your Daddy can get it up."

 

All I can say to that is:

 

"Do you know how cool it is to be as popular as I am at a world famous sex club without the use of my dick?"

 

I have found that for many women it's not all about the cock!

 

For the record, the ladies I play with who enjoy "fucking", I don't feel I hold them back from that activity. I am poly, so they generally either get their fuck quotient from other sources, I share them, or, ya know what, sometimes my dick does work and I will actually fuck them too!

 

My cock is slightly below average in size too. Shall we discuss that also?

Well, first of all, it's awesome for getting blow jobs. I can get them from anyone regardless of gag reflex.

 

When I hear the blanket statement "size doesn't matter" I cringe. Of course to some people size matters! To other people size isn't that important! But who am I to declare size doesn't matter for all people?

 

All I can speak to is me and my experience. Therefore the only thing about size that matters to me is that my penis is long enough that it reaches me! For the record, it has been known to reach many of the fine ladies I have played with too, but even if it didn't, there are countless other options.

 

Besides, I don't play with women who are obsessed with cock size. Yep, I don't even play with ladies obsessed with small cocks! There are very few submissive women obsessed with small cocks anyway--that obsession seems to be monopolized by Dominant women.

 

I am not knocking the big hard cocked man. He is an iconic figure that I like to use as another implement for my toy bag. Literally or figuratively, you don't know how fun it is to whisper into a slut's ear:

 

"I am gonna spread your cunt wider so you can take a bigger cock for me."

 

I have known men with big working cocks who start relying on that and become stunted in their sexual creativity. But there is hope. For them I offer mentorship and coaching.

 

I am not trying to create a sexual superman, but imagine if someone like me did have a big working cock?

 

Yeah, I didn't think you would want that thought in your head for very long.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2012 

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tags:

My First "Daddy" Experience

Folder: 
DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO

 

My first "Daddy" experience triggered in my loins a latent kink that I had never realized was held dormant until the experience happened.

 

It was March 2008, my (now ex) wife and I were already swingers participating in hotel parties. This party happened to be a hotel gang bang put on by the man who would later open Club Sesso a year later.

 

I had been corresponding on Adult Friend Finder with one of the party girls, so I knew her online persona before we met. She had told me she was a "little" and that she had a "Daddy." I remembered how naive I was when we first corresponded. I chuckled and thought the whole concept was rather silly. She quickly informed me that it was a very serious and intimate thing between them.

 

I figured I would never have an opportunity to play with her, since she had a "Daddy." But lo and behold, at the upcoming hotel party she was going to be allowed to participate without him.

 

So at the beginning of the party when people were still arriving and mingling, I approached her and saw her big brown eyes and sultry look. Being the jokester that I am, and not understanding the concept of consent too well, I nonchalantly said, "Hey, if nobody else is gonna get this party started, I am," and proceded to lift her into the air and carry her into the next room. I threw her on the bed and went to town ravaging her.

 

My aggression (albeit sarcastic and playful) must have appealed to her S&M sensibilities, even though I had no fucking idea what I was doing. All I knew was I was making out with a really hot brown eyed gang bang girl!

 

After we finished, she needed more (it was a gang bang, afterall). Perhaps due to her feeling comfortable with me due to our prior AFF correspondence, each and every time she finished a fuck session with one of the guys she crawled back up into my arms sucking her thumb between her lips.

 

This was my first realization of my comforting "Daddy" nature. The night continued on, and I remember actually speaking naughty and comforting words into her ears as each different partner gave her his cock.

 

My style must have been somewhat successful, as later in the week she told me her Daddy gave her permission to see me again in a more private environment. This was a private hotel room where we were one on one the entire night.

 

She certainly topped from the bottom with me that night. She had to! I didn't yet formulated any power exchange concepts.  

 

I learned that night that some women actually grew closer to orgasm with more pain as she had me spank her while we fucked. It was shocking at first when I realized she enjoyed it more when I used more aggression and force, but once I witnessed her bliss, the concept was emblazoned in my brain forever.

 

The kinkster was born!

 

Now, sometime that night she also did age regression and we did ageplay that came so naturally to me that it was shocking. Twirling her hair on her fingers and using innocent baby talk, my arousal level was off the charts. I knew at that moment the pinnacle of erotic sexuality had been reached for me.

 

And DaddyO was born!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

circa 2012

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"The Difference Between Kinky and Vanilla"

Folder: 
DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO


Vanilla people kiss first,

then when they get more comfortable,

try to spice things up by:

spanking.

 

Kinky people spank first,

then after they get more comfortable,

try to spice things up by:

kissing.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2012 

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Damn, If I Would Just Stop Fucking So Many Ladies, I Would Be Able to Fuck More Ladies

by DaddyO

 

I have mixed feelings, but I generally feel honored to be the poster boy for those "actively looking for sexual play."

 

The fact that there are supposedly "not a whole lot of ladies who have not been involved with me" makes me beam proudly.

 

This "reputation" helped secure my year and a half Daddy/babygirl relationship with the precious tanyatoy, who was at the time the most cherished gift I had ever received in the sexual/BDSM realm. She was the most awe inspiring woman I had ever encountered; true to herself as well as a joy to everyone she met. And ya know what, she was "warned" about me too! And she confesses that my reputation actually intrigued her more.

 

Still I find it odd that so many people need to warn others about me. Not once has anyone said who these mysterious people actually are.

 

Here are the main warnings women recieve about me:

 

"DaddyO is a predator."

 

"DaddyO just wants them for sex."

 

"DaddyO just goes after the young naive newbies.

 

"I don't like the way DaddyO treats his women."

 

Could this be because I aggressively go after sex with attractive women and treat them in consensual ways that most of society deems inappropriate?

I guess I could passively practice celibacy, hanging out with people I don't find attractive while conforming to society's norm.

 

No, thank you. I did that already...the first 35+ years of my life.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2012 

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Kinkfest 2011

Folder: 
DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO

 

How My Kinkfest Was Almost Ruined -or- How Tanyatoy Proved Her Worth to Me as a Babygirl in One Amazing Evening 

 

The Portland Kinkfest Convention was held at the Oregon Convention Center for the first time in 2011. I didn't like the fact that in order to get from the hotel to the dungeon you had to cross right by the bustling Max light rail line. With hundreds of people gawking out the windows (many of whom might be bosses, family members or co-workers) it was uncomfortable for me, a married man, to carry a golf bag full of scening implements and walk across the Max line with my babygirl (who I am not married to) on my arm.

 

This is one reason I chose to park in the underground garage.

 

Nonetheless I still found myself needing to venture back and forth from the dungeon to the hotel.

 

Here is the story of the parking garage horror:

 

5:00 pm: Coming back from the hotel I told my babygirl to stay outside for a smoke and come back into the dungeon and change while I headed to the car to get the toy bag. "Just wait for me, I'll be right back."

 

5:15 pm: After the walk to the other end of the Convention Center (why don't they have parking near where the actual convention halls are, is beyond me) I finally got to my car.

 

5:20 pm: At the car I finished cleaning my toys, packed away my cell phone, and headed to the elevators. Once arriving at the parking garage door, I found it to be locked. "Great," I thought to myself, "now what?"

 

5:30 pm: After checking the other elevator door and finding that locked too, I returned to the first elevator and pushed the security button to call for assistance. "We'll be right down," a voice said.

 

5:50 pm: After waiting to no avail for twenty minutes for the security attendant to arrive (the call button was not able to be pushed a second time for it simply turned on a police light and wouldn't connect to the security dude's walkie talkie while the light was flashing) I decided to just drive out of the garage.

 

5:55 pm: At the parking attendant window, I told the lady there that I did not feel an obligation to pay, since I had wasted so much time already and still was not able to get back to the dungeon. She, of course, would not let me out, and tried to call security to open the door. "Security is not going to answer you," I told her.

 

6:15 pm: The parking garage attendant and I went back and forth for another twenty minutes (she had to call her supervisor in order to let me through the gate without me paying). Finally the gate opened and I drove out of the garage.

 

6:20 pm: Now I am in the middle of Saturday evening traffic at Blazer game time looking for a place to park in the Rose Quarter region. Another twenty or so minutes go by while I look for a parking place.

 

6:30 pm: Finally I find a parking spot in front of Starbucks and head into the Convention Center. I was in no state to scene and debated whether or not to even bring my toybag in.

 

My babygirl had to wait over ONE HOUR AND THIRTY MINUTES for me!

 

Because of the "no cell phone rule" I was not able to contact her (besides, my phone was packed in my toybag in the trunk, and hers was not allowed to be brought out in the dungeon).

 

When I arrived, she was waiting anxiously in the dungeon audience area with a smile on her face. The patience and acceptance she displayed in that small moment was something this control freak Daddy Dom would never be able to pull off on his own without going through a frustrating panic attack.

 

But she did it.

 

For me!

 

Still, I was in no emotional state to top her in a scene.

 

Immediately she jumped up on my lap and comforted me. Magically within minutes she brought me out of my distress and we actually were able to do a very kinky scene later in the evening.

 

If it hadn't been for the calm, patient and forgiving nature of Tanyatoy, my Kinkfest experience might have been a huge emotional mess. Instead the hours that followed that evening and finally into Monday morning probably were the most exciting sexual experiences I have ever had. I got confirmation that it was the same way for her.

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2011. An odd note, less than 2 years after this experience I started working for the company who ran this parking garage! 

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I Have Babygirl Issues

Folder: 
DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO

 

Women in Daddy/babygirl relationships often are accused of having "daddy issues."

 

Well, I will freely admit: I have babygirl issues!

 

For those who have wondered or who care, here is a little insight as to why...

 

My teens and early 20s were chock full of sexual exploration. The only problem, it was...

 

ALL IN MY IMAGINATION!

 

When I was growing up, I was a scared-as-hell little boy. My mom was one of the most open people I ever met. She practiced situational ethics to a T.

 

"Wanna get high? ...then I will get you some pot from your uncle and you will sit here in front of me and try it."

 

"Wanna have sex? ...save up enough money and we will get you a Prostitute (okay, it wasn't quite that drastic, but she did tell me about a juice bar that had strippers where I could go on my 18th birthday). 

 

Basically, Mom said I could do whatever I wanted. But here was the catch: I had to take responsibility for my actions. Do you hear that? I will say it once again, with the magnitude my Mom used to drill it into me with:

 

"YOU MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS!!!"

 

Needless to say, I was scared-as-hell to even touch a girl.

 

Fatherhood at 15? No thanks!

 

Venereal disease? Nu uh. Not me!

 

I had an alcoholic friend who had to sneak his booze from his Dad's liquor cabinet.  I saw what a mess he was becoming and the addictive qualities right away. No way was I going to touch alcohol. The sips of beer my Dad gave me were sickening anyway.

 

Other friends were hooked on narcotics. I remember visiting a close friend (best friend at the time) in a drug treatment program. And was instructed to utilize "tough love" by disassociating myself from him if he relapsed. Well, he relapsed and our friendship ended. So trying drugs? No way!

 

I knew of sexually active teens who's moms were on the boards of the religious anti-sex education crusade. I saw their hypocrisy and was appalled.

 

So what does a young man do with his life after seeing all of that? What else- He joins the Christian church! ---and avoids it all even better!

 

In the Fall of 1988 I "saw the light" quite literally, by having a "born again" experience. Yes, the adrenalin and whatever other chemicals make a person light headed were flowing that night as I sat in a room next to a sexy Christian waitress and gave my life to Christ by saying a prayer of faith I didn't want to believe in. But the very fact that I felt guilty feelings when saying that prayer cemented the idea of a "God" into my psyche. Yes, the fact that I felt guilty NOT believing in God (while saying I did believe), was "proof" enough that God really did exist and it made it "true." I did not think past this concept for ten years, and a "Christian" young man was born.

 

My mid 20s through mid 30s I was trapped in the bonds of this organized religion ridiculousness, living "for Christ" a life of celibacy. Sure, I tried to court women, but how were you supposed to do such a thing when you were not allowed lustful thoughts? How was a man supposed to get close to a woman without being aroused (and thus "lusting")? If I followed the Christian way of courting, I would have had my first sexual encounter on my wedding night! And seriously, the ladies I was courting were either coming back into the fold/former "backsliders" who were very sexually experienced and thought I was crazy for being celibate, or women so prude they probably didn't even understand that sex was supposed to be fun.

 

Not a lot to choose from. And had I chose, I was supposed to ask a woman to marry me without even spending any intimate time with her. How fucked up is that?

 

Ultimately I did get sexual with some of the partners I encountered, but all sexual play was reserved for oral and manual stimulation. I seriously did my best to not lust- and this very well may be why I have such a difficult time now getting an erection. I figured if my cock wasn't hard, I wasn't lusting!

 

I delved into providing oral sex and like to say, "well, at least Jesus did taught me one thing- he made me good at cunnilingus."

 

So now I am an older atheist hedonist and have the freedom to explore. I finally have the balls to actually let loose and be free with my sexuality.

 

I long for what I missed out on when I was supposed to be experimenting and growing sexually with these teenagers and women in their early 20s, hence, my desire for the younger looking/acting females. Age play,; Daddy/babygirl;, it all coalesces for me. It makes more sense than anything else ever has.

 

So, yes, I do have babygirl issues. And am quite unashamed. Perhaps for the first time in my life.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2011, 2017

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Ageplay and DaddyO's Vision of Daddy/babygirl

Folder: 
DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO

 

First and foremost the Daddy Dom archetype is the counterpart to the babygirl. I feel the Daddy's responsibility is to craft a sexual journey for his babygirl; to present her opportunities for an awakening to her kinks and fetishes.

 

The often entertained ageplay component, in my experience, is not so much incestuous or paedophile-ridden, it is instead a way to describe the dynamic between two complimentary and distinct sexual styles. Most BDSM play is often rough and brutal. With the Daddy/babygirl dynamic, play can still be hard or contain sadomasochistic elements, but it usually is offered from Daddy to babygirl in a more "fatherly" way.

 

Think of the relationship not so much as Daddy - daughter, but more as possessing the qualities many men do not share with their lovers: care, coddling, guidance, protection, discipline, teaching, playfulness, cuddling, as well as introducing new steps in her sexual development.

 

The attraction I have to a woman acting childlike or at an age well below the "normal" age of sexual awakening is more difficult to explain. I guess I see it as one might view art. When you look at a painting or even a well edited photograph, there are exaggerations that bring the art to life. Exaggeration is the spice to this kind of art.

 

Cross-dressers do it all the time. A little extra make-up, exaggerated ultra-feminine dress, very pouty lips, huge stuffed bras. You see my point?

So when a woman well past the age my innermost lusts dresses and acts, say 4 years old, it is that contrast of her actions and look that counters her real world "age." She becomes to me, for all intents and purposes, the happy medium between her biological age (of consent) and her ageplay age (well below my ideal): the otherwise "illegal" time of sexual awakening.

 

It is no secret and quite obvious that I am attracted to the "teenager" look. I would venture to say most straight men are but are afraid to admit it. Trust me, a person's libido and sexual desires are not influenced by what the laws happen to be. The age of consent is different in Canada. Does this mean a 17 year old stripper in Canada is perfectly okay to lust over, but somehow when she strolls down into the United States she is taboo to feel attraction towards? Using that logic, are homosexuals not supposed to find each other attractive until gay marriage is legalized?

 

From my experience, the babygirl archetype is very difficult to cultivate and for most women is often utilized in short segments of playtime or periods of subspace. It is rare that a woman falls into it naturally, but when I have seen it it just feels "right" to share my Daddy tendencies with her!

 

A Daddy can be a Dom. A Daddy can be a Master. A Daddy can be a Sadist. But deep down, sexually I am a Daddy. This is just how I identify. My perfect sexual match is being the counterpart to a babygirl. This does not preclude me from those other wonderful sexual experiences, it just helps better define how I relate.

 

My Daddy tendencies extend well beyond what typically one would think of as "fatherly" as I enjoy sharing, controlling, sexual and being sadistic as well as comforting. I am just as at home leading my babygirl in a gang bang as I am helping her on with her clothes, listening to her rant about Disney, or reddening her ass for my camera.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2012

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