freewrite

Fire of the mind.

I sit here with a fire in my mind dampened by the sight of my eyes. The realization of the utter desperation of the times.

I strain under the stress a constant pest trying to undermine me at my best.

I wish I could have a chance to rest but what if this is some final test?

I continue fighting, writing and striding towards that goal, that seems so distant.

I picture it as magnificent, a job, a stable life, with a little less strife.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I took a long break from writing this is my first poem since being back at it.

Think Before You Speak

Folder: 
Personal

Think before you speak
Adjust knowledge to your mind speaking in calm tone
Than answers you will find
Whether in person, whether on the phone
Discuss different qualities amongst two different people
Yet there is a drastic change
Learning that both aren't the same
Seeing that their normal, maybe just strange

Think before you speak
Don't judge before you know to end up seeing the unknown
Behind closed doors you travel opening every closed door
Every closed window
Images of your past, present and future
Ending up being amazed
Being surprised, being changed

Think before you speak
You can't predict how a person is going to be
Get to know what's on the inside and out
You'll be surprised what you see
Is an experience of a life time?
Wasted on someone who's greedy, waste time on someone who is kind
Good qualities you will find

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Before every Discussion I have with someone, I tend to think what to say. Because you don't want to say the wrong thing.. as I've experienced that at times and felt bad. Its about keeing an Open-Mind on People.

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Pi (freewrite)

It's been the same ever since our meeting, like pi you and I just keep on repeating these motions of madness and menace and malice, wearing down my heart yet never leaving it calloused enough to ever get over the pain and the strife of simply knowing that you will never be my wife. Too many times I've made a fool of myself with my love and my lust and meandering dreams that take me far away to a world where it seems that for just one moment we shared a single heart, that our two conjoined ventricles could never be apart, pumping with rhythm, with rhyme and with reason, our passion its only fuel. Yet every time, my mind gets the better of me, making me believe some false reality where you actually love me, where you actually could, where you actually kiss me, where you actually would. And I start to think I can make it real by telling you exactly all the love that I feel for you and your being, your soul and your smile, your strength and your kindness, your grace and your style, but no matter what I say, it just isn't enough to fill your gorgeous soul up, with love and with passion like you deserve. Something about me will always keep you away from loving me as deeply as I do you, and I've come to accept this as simply being life and love, and the distress and pain that come with loving someone with everything you can. Regardless there's nothing I can do to force us together, so instead I've set my sights on finding someone higher who fits me better than you and your amazing mind which seems to fit me so well, but in truth it doesn't at all. So fuck it, fuck that and fuck this, fuck love and fuck hatred, fuck your eyes and your lips, I can't take it anymore, I'm done, I'm through, just know that regardless of how far away I fall, theres no way I could stop loving you.

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To Taste Your Kiss (freewrite)

I'd do just about anything to taste your lips, I'd die a hundred times over to place my hands on your hips. I'd jump from heaven just to smell your hair, I'd kneel and I'd pray just to rip and strip the clothes you wear and ravish you. Closed eyed and delivering kisses on your bare skin, holding on so tightly with part of myself within your body, and within your mind, two celestial bodies entwined with life and love. Forgetting all about the stress and strife of our life just by becoming one with each other tonight. I'd do just about anything to make you moan, I'd die a hundred times over to leave your mind blown from being held all night in sweaty passion and losing yourself inside of me as I place myself inside of you. Lack of experience will not stop me, lack of experience will not scare me, the lack of experience only means that you will be the one to teach me and I will learn only about you. I'd do just about anything for you to scream my name, I'd die a hundred times over to fuel your flame and I aim to do this, I claim that I can, and after you've come, to your senses I'll hold you all night keeping you awake with kisses, and with love and my skin against yours, waiting and wanting for it all to happen again.

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Open Heart Surgery (freewrite)

I'm tired of getting my hopes up, and even more so of being confused. I'm tired of feeling worthless, and even more so of being used. What exactly is the purpose of being so heavily abused, that my body, mind, and soul are constantly skewed and bruised with hues of blue, and why can only so few not seem to be amused by me constantly being the one to lose against any one who wishes to fight against me? Maybe it's only myself I fight against, maybe I'm the only person to accuse for my state of loneliness and restlessness that has left me so bemused. In the end, nothing in life is really new, just the same repeating bullshit and pain that lead into the constant confusion on what the hell we should do to find some happiness and try to undo the ridiculous slew of strife and worries that life has thus far put us through. There's no hot bitches nor angels to rescue you, only lost witches and demons to pursue you and chew you and screw you until nothing is left except invisible bruises on your slowly beating heart. Whatever, fuck writing more, I'm through. You could still have hope, but fuck, what's the use? Even with all your hope, you're still going to lose, so I've thrown in my towel, and so should you, because nothing that ever happens is new. And regardless of how happy you are, I promise it will all crumble soon.

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