Where my heart should be
There is an empty cavity

I was tortured in my life
Nothing but fear, pain and strife

My heart would pound and be sent reeling
By every worthless horrible feeling

Then one day I found a knife
to end my fear, pain and strife

One quick plunge is all it would take
To remove my heart for my minds sake

Now being void of every lovely feeling
I long for my heart to be sent reeling

I try to be happy, be sad, feel
But it's hard to fake something real

Now I realize my mistake
It's not so bad for a heart to ache

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Cold as Ice

ice cold ...
frozen ...

numbing ...

pain ...

crippling me ...

so tired of shouldering ...
wrapping around
from the blade
traveling down
along my arm
following through
to my fingertips ...
cold fucking fingertips

Damn it, I hate this shit!
do I really have to quit
doing what I love? 


I can hardly type
but I'll keep up the fight
I hope to find relief
from this fucking suffering


it hurts!

It fucking hurts!

it fucking sucks!

SO sick of it! ...

two years of this shit ...
or is it now three
can it fucking be?

I'd found a way
to survive
in this fucked up
money hungry
region of greed

I'd established a means
to get what I need
doing what I love ...

but now ...
the pain ...
the suffering ...

must love
lead to suffering?

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Nothing but Despair

Volume One






Nothing but Despair”


No more tears left to cry

dead but needing to bleed

suffering from the soul-less deed

Left with nothing but Despair

watching while you disappear

wishing for the end to come

but when it's all said and done

your left with nothing but despair

your humanity slipping away

every second of every day

chained up to the wall

struggling for every inch you call

the pain, the drain

but to no prevail

trapped in your tortured cell

you are left with despair


"The heart she took,

without even a look

ripping it out like an opened book

telling me I am a sin

pouring the misery in

even in the powerless stare

I'm left with nothing but despair"





Author's Notes/Comments: 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

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