withdrawal

To Find Myself Without Love

I smiled and let you in;

You tripped on my wires.

Explosions made you run to me closer,

Unaware I felt the tremors of every footstep that neared me,

So I sank, as you held on tightly.

 

My body survives, but my mind stays with the current,

Returning me to you once again;
I’m a slave to hungry love.

Following the path to where you wait for me, always,

Forgiveness comes easy;
When I found myself, you seemed so far away.

 

Pulling misguided arrows from my chest,

Leaving you behind as I cast my boat off to sunrise,

Rowing down to where the river meets the sky,

Gathering my wings;

Flying solo.

 

The sky offers no freedom,

Only tiredness and lonesome,

Clarity of thoughts beat needles into sanity.

Crashing into whirlpools, escaping into waterfalls,

Chasing thirst in the deserts of your land.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Giving up what is loved because together there can be no progress, just the same cycle on repeat

I Have A Right

I don't want to anymore...
Every  time i do I always end up on the floor.
Just laying there.
Waiting.
Watching.
Hesitating.
Whether or not i should even bother getting back up.
Just please, somebody, fill this cup.
fill this cup up with something that wont fuck me up.
I've had enough of the poison,
Enough of the noise in my head,
Enough wishing  I was dead.
Enough.
I will regain my composure from this mentality of lead.
I will find myself,
Reattatch my shoulders to my head.
I will find my peace of mind,
No more leaving my own desires behind.
Just wait and you will see me in the light of another kind.
I will win this fight,
I will find my light.
Don't think I won't make it out,
because i just might.
It is my right.
My right to survive,
my right to be alive.

- The Fever

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WITHDRAWAL

Folder: 
2013

Yesterday was forever

who could calculate

so sudden a withdrawal

refusing to relate.

 

Evidence of smoothe sailing

no tomorrow forsee

Yesterday set in motion

wheels turn endlessly.

 

copyright by heather burns

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Vibrant Blue

What is this color I see?

It's been everywhere I look, no matter where I may be.

It's like a vibrant blue,

so bright, with a warmth that radiates from it's hue.

 

I wonder, what are you? Why are you all I see?

It won't respond to me, but it sweeps over me with this feeling of ecstasy,

comforting me.

 

I try to follow it,

But it constantly eludes me.

Is it even aware of my existence?

Vibrant blue, I can see you so clearly, but do you even see me?

The thought of it drives me crazy.

Or was I already crazy for thinking this color can comfort me in the first place?

 

It's been so long now since I first felt the vibrant blue's embrace,

and now I'm starting to realize it's slowly fading from my sight without a trace.

 

No! Don't go vibrant blue,

Please come back to me!

Without your light I can't see!

...I miss you.

 

yet no matter how badly I want it to remain,

The color slowly fades away,

Leaving me with this disdain.

The vibrant blue begins to distain.

As it grows dark, the warmth turns to pain,

And just now in the fading light I can see why this is the way I must remain.

 

- The Fever

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Vibrant Blue = Color of the first beer bottle I've drunk from

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Cold Milk Skin

 

 

My dreams no longer hold me,
As they are a mere distraction.
Alcohol and cigarettes taint the pure shell I waxed around my brain.
Never did I think I would be standing here now,
Between dying trees and disturbed forests,
Aching for you to find me.
 
Past Satan's throne you may follow,
Beyond graffiti names and memories on stone walls.
Walking, searching, constantly through the maze -
To lose myself,
To leave Him behind.
I failed;
For this I am sorry, love,
As I place another stone above the dead body.
I cry for yesterday.

Rubble and underground chambers forgotten over the years,
A light which flickers dimly in the dark.
Messages whispered in long corridors;
I am lonely and need your touch.
Remaining unheard, I scream over static,
To be buried in debris at the force of my pain.

In this cemetery ground,
Beyond the forest of my invisible trails,
Is the man waiting to love his never-to-be.
In this cemetery ground,
Beyond the forest of my invisible trails,
I await my everything.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Too many things left unsaid, the undoing of an entire relationship, trying to put the pieces back up as they fall

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