# addiction # love #learninlove # life # truth # joy # happiness # beauty # beast # peace # music # soul # body # mind #emotions # awe # poetry # heart # humanity # words

Breakthrough

Every star in the sky

Is a breakthrough

Every lip that touches

Is a breakthrough

But a true breakthrough

Is much more than this

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A very short yet very questionable poem.

Enjoy life

Folder: 
poems 1

Enjoy
Enjoy
Enjoy everyday don't
rush life just enjoy 
the outdoor and don't 
let thing get you down 
there is more to life 
then you think right 
now there someone 
out there that do not 
have a job or 
clothing or food
Enjoy
Enjoy
Enjoy
Enjoy everyday don't 
rush life just enjoy 
being outside in the 
outdoor and don't let 
thing get you down there 
is more to life then you 
feel right now and think 
right now there is more 
to life I know you want 
to run away from home 
or kill yourself but list 
here there is more to 
life there someone out 
there that do not have 
a job or clothing or food 
or a house but before you 
know life will turn around 
you just have Faith and 
hope never give up just 
have believe in 
god and enjoy life
© Amanda Kay hill
9/11/14

Colorado

Folder: 
more poems

Colorado

Colorado

Colorado is where 

the wind blow 

beautiful Colorado

there is nothing like 

the Colorado rain and snow

Colorado

Colorado

Colorado

Colorado is where the 

wind blow beautiful 

Colorado there is 

nothing like the 

Colorado rain smell and

the snow Colorado 

is the place to be 

Colorado mountain are 

the beautiful mountain 

in the world Colorado 

is the place to visited

© Amanda Kay hill 

9/11/14

Tomorrow

I'm not in the mood for a today. I await a beautiful tomorrow, a new today but filled with her, with her beautiful aroma, with a bliss that can only be achieved through contact with you, your static touch, so rare it is. My muse, the inspiration of my dreams, what helps me conjure up a tide of thoughts and overwhelming probabilities where i inevitably drown and i dont fight it, no, you are a magnificent sea, and im great at drowning. No, I'm not in the mood for a today. I'm tired of today. What I want is the beautiful future ahead. I want more of that intoxicating drug that is her scent. I want her heavenly touch that is indelible to my sences. That image that haunts me and causes me to mistake her at every corner. I'm sick of today, all I want is tomorrow. Its plane and simple. Why tomorrow ? Because she's in that tomorrow. And I want nothing but her.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

comments and opinions please?

EMOTION

Folder: 
open door's

 Lost in all this emotion.

You came and stole my heart once more.

Where do I go from here.

You took me and left me in the cold once before.

You build me up just to let me fall.

So consumed with all you are.

Taken by your charm once agian.

How could this be.

What is this hold you have on me.

Ashamed of these tear you left on my face.

Drowning in an ocean of emotions that left me broken and weak   

 

Recovering from a mental break

No more bad thoughts its gota stop
Be positive and grateful for all I've got
No more mental breakdowns keep it together
I cant be mentally unstable for ever
Its the start of a new beginning today
I must block out the negative forces at play
I am a good person being psychotic is hard
I wont listen to voices when they start
A cognitive battle to commence to where my minds gone
To get away from the dark frame of mind I must refrain from
Not to believe the voices with words so unkind
Keep a healthy balanced state of mind
Thoughts manifesting madness will now be deterred
As out of control thinking makes conclusions absurd
I don’t cause trouble or speak out of turn
Past bouts of madness not reality, I must learn
Instead of suffering use it as a learning curve
Enjoy what comes from better times I deserve
Prove to myself how strong I can be
Fuck guessing how others perceive me
Demand what I want : tend to my every need
Positively will bring positive ways to succeed
I have the ability to forget how bad I have felt
I will receive more benefit from fate I am dealt
I must not feel I have to help anyone anymore
I come first others problems aren't mine to endure

Free from mental instability

To brave to say goodbye to old
Its now time life will reward me with a new hello
I am only just starting a new and have far to go
Today is the day Now is the time
To take back the life that is rightfully mine
Don’t dwell, don’t think don’t hesitate
Find the positive from any past mistake
Better to of loved and lost to have memories of what was
And be grateful from all the things that ive got
Embrace the good tmes fuck the bad
A new journeys in store and take what's to be had
My outlook is clear and I'm free from being confined
A weight has now lifted from a previous darkened mind
Be true to those that are true to me
Take heed from what is plain to see
Some people belong to stay in my past
Be with those that bring happiness that’ll last.
Don’t be soft, speak up allow true feelings known
Stand by what I believe and how I have grown
don’t allow kindness be taken for granted anymore
Learn from mistakes I have made before
I will not assume situations
Nor give into temptations
Strive to be the best I can be
Find the inner strength deep within me
Positive thinking brought positive results
I bounced back from my minds insults
Im free from the torture my mind endured
How bad I was truly seems absurd
Free to enjoy the future once more
Can use my mind for what its intended for
No paranoia stress free I now am
Honestly say I don’t give a dam
Can now deal with life ordinarily

Now I can appreciate freedom quite happily.

 

True inner feelings.

How do you feel? Is a question I hate No point explaining; you cannot relate

I don’t want to talk I don’t want to share

 You could be sincere I really don't care

What's on your mind? another shit line Easily avoided by saying I'm fine

If I told you, you’d regret you had asked

My inner thoughts are carefully masked

with good reason they’re not to be shared

I don’t feel the need for my soul to be bared

The fondness and affection which I always came to give,

 Has now gone away, simply doesn’t exist,

My mind is now contained by a deep and heavy mist-

 Cant concentrate on others, nothing more I have to give,

 My troubles are now amplified as I proceed to live

I don’t feel the security of a family anymore

Despising my sister even worse than before

Sick of the pretence hiding what should be said

Her insight of real life coming from something she read

Dad is no longer with this world neither is my mother

 Before, mum and I could always rely on one anotherI

fear the inner dark thoughts that remain from my losses

Morbidly aware we all bare our crosses

its all out of my control which evokes Hatred I feel

 the explosion of uncontrollable feelings are real

 fine line breaks quickly between  love and hate

am I now on the right path written in the hands of fate?

 past relationships were fickle I falsely gave love to all

 I've now  created a hard callous wall

 

 

A mental break

Sick of paranoia tired of absurd thoughts
Constant grind hearing things assumptions being distraught
If its not derogatory voices talking constantly about me
Random thought will make me act quite obsessively
Cant shake the feeling im being watched all the time
Constant stress of security being hacked on pc and phone
Not ever feeling comfort or content of  being alone
Under surveillance in my house being judged out in the street
Unable to seek the safety of a retreat
Paranoid for my safety, my dog and uncomfortable at home
People assume and judge making up what they don’t know
I'm aware of what the gossips say interfering how far they'll go
Scared of gossip and the damage they can cause
hearing their voices my mind on pause

My lack of faith in anyone causes me to over think
My head works overtime pushing me towards the brink
Every time I begin a psychotic attack
Me and reality become completely detached
As if im being monitored by hateful prying eyes
Convinced that Im someone completely despised
I think im always being watched in my home
Contiguously praying they would leave me alone
Distracted and convinced im overhearing their views
As if my actions are constantly being viewed
I cant ignore constant comments on all that I do
Why me? when will they gain satisfaction?
Im completely unable to find any distraction

I know what is bad and what is wrong
A casualty of misuse is what I cant refrain from
Withering enjoyment with unstable thought
Delusions and mental battles to be fought.