No more bad thoughts its gota stop
Be positive and grateful for all I've got
No more mental breakdowns keep it together
I cant be mentally unstable for ever
Its the start of a new beginning today
I must block out the negative forces at play
I am a good person being psychotic is hard
I wont listen to voices when they start
A cognitive battle to commence to where my minds gone
To get away from the dark frame of mind I must refrain from
Not to believe the voices with words so unkind
Keep a healthy balanced state of mind
Thoughts manifesting madness will now be deterred
As out of control thinking makes conclusions absurd
I don’t cause trouble or speak out of turn
Past bouts of madness not reality, I must learn
Instead of suffering use it as a learning curve
Enjoy what comes from better times I deserve
Prove to myself how strong I can be
Fuck guessing how others perceive me
Demand what I want : tend to my every need
Positively will bring positive ways to succeed
I have the ability to forget how bad I have felt
I will receive more benefit from fate I am dealt
I must not feel I have to help anyone anymore
I come first others problems aren't mine to endure
To brave to say goodbye to old
Its now time life will reward me with a new hello
I am only just starting a new and have far to go
Today is the day Now is the time
To take back the life that is rightfully mine
Don’t dwell, don’t think don’t hesitate
Find the positive from any past mistake
Better to of loved and lost to have memories of what was
And be grateful from all the things that ive got
Embrace the good tmes fuck the bad
A new journeys in store and take what's to be had
My outlook is clear and I'm free from being confined
A weight has now lifted from a previous darkened mind
Be true to those that are true to me
Take heed from what is plain to see
Some people belong to stay in my past
Be with those that bring happiness that’ll last.
Don’t be soft, speak up allow true feelings known
Stand by what I believe and how I have grown
don’t allow kindness be taken for granted anymore
Learn from mistakes I have made before
I will not assume situations
Nor give into temptations
Strive to be the best I can be
Find the inner strength deep within me
Positive thinking brought positive results
I bounced back from my minds insults
Im free from the torture my mind endured
How bad I was truly seems absurd
Free to enjoy the future once more
Can use my mind for what its intended for
No paranoia stress free I now am
Honestly say I don’t give a dam
Can now deal with life ordinarily
Now I can appreciate freedom quite happily.
How do you feel? Is a question I hate No point explaining; you cannot relate
I don’t want to talk I don’t want to share
You could be sincere I really don't care
What's on your mind? another shit line Easily avoided by saying I'm fine
If I told you, you’d regret you had asked
My inner thoughts are carefully masked
with good reason they’re not to be shared
I don’t feel the need for my soul to be bared
The fondness and affection which I always came to give,
Has now gone away, simply doesn’t exist,
My mind is now contained by a deep and heavy mist-
Cant concentrate on others, nothing more I have to give,
My troubles are now amplified as I proceed to live
I don’t feel the security of a family anymore
Despising my sister even worse than before
Sick of the pretence hiding what should be said
Her insight of real life coming from something she read
Dad is no longer with this world neither is my mother
Before, mum and I could always rely on one anotherI
fear the inner dark thoughts that remain from my losses
Morbidly aware we all bare our crosses
its all out of my control which evokes Hatred I feel
the explosion of uncontrollable feelings are real
fine line breaks quickly between love and hate
am I now on the right path written in the hands of fate?
past relationships were fickle I falsely gave love to all
I've now created a hard callous wall
Sick of paranoia tired of absurd thoughts
Constant grind hearing things assumptions being distraught
If its not derogatory voices talking constantly about me
Random thought will make me act quite obsessively
Cant shake the feeling im being watched all the time
Constant stress of security being hacked on pc and phone
Not ever feeling comfort or content of being alone
Under surveillance in my house being judged out in the street
Unable to seek the safety of a retreat
Paranoid for my safety, my dog and uncomfortable at home
People assume and judge making up what they don’t know
I'm aware of what the gossips say interfering how far they'll go
Scared of gossip and the damage they can cause
hearing their voices my mind on pause
My lack of faith in anyone causes me to over think
My head works overtime pushing me towards the brink
Every time I begin a psychotic attack
Me and reality become completely detached
As if im being monitored by hateful prying eyes
Convinced that Im someone completely despised
I think im always being watched in my home
Contiguously praying they would leave me alone
Distracted and convinced im overhearing their views
As if my actions are constantly being viewed
I cant ignore constant comments on all that I do
Why me? when will they gain satisfaction?
Im completely unable to find any distraction
I know what is bad and what is wrong
A casualty of misuse is what I cant refrain from
Withering enjoyment with unstable thought
Delusions and mental battles to be fought.
The world is a place for fun, drama, life, and death
Living here just to leave a mark on the world or try
Doing our best to stay away from the drugs and addictions
All the drugs and addictions bring the world to a deeper place
To a place of rainbows and death, A place where people think is good
Where things change all the time like a normal persons daily morning
Get up, restroom, eat, get ready for work... then its repeat for the day
But why do people think its normal?
may this question be anwsered over and over and never figured out
1
One day; a day.
One morning; unlike any other.
One true love; my first and last.
One place; a home.
One direction; past, present and future.
One adventure; at a time.
One act of kindness; another one.
One mother and father; one whole.
One lasting feeling; joy.
One personality; ever-evolving.
One opinion; a moment.
One friend; best one.
One chapter; one life.
One life; my life.
Peace, a word that you should never forget.
Remember it until your very last breath.
Lest we forget, may as well forget about tracing setps too
because we will never again quite find it.
If we can't find it, our hearts are left aloft, forever
struck with wickedness and blinded.
This is where hate plays trick on us all
and transforms the weak minded.
Peace is an instrument, a drive for a better world.
If we carry it among us, we need not a rock, or a rocket.
We need not fight for what's right.
If we are to prove a point we don't fight hate with hate,
we fight it with peace. World of today is ill minded,
weak at its core but not entirely at fault. Others are,
a tiny minority that weakens the whole.
If you think to fight for peace, please don't.
To fight for it, is to promote hate.
If we are to have peace in the world,
peace in our hearts,
then we must stand our grounds and
die for it to prove a point.
My Love,
My place is with you,
Others have tried to break us apart.
They say,
She is not right for you.
You are not right for her,
We are not right together,
You have so much to lose.
They don't understand,
When I'm with you,
Every place is the right place,
Anytime is the is the right time,
No one else has as much as I,
When I'm with you.