I'm Not

I'm not.
The words I would always say to myself as an excuse.

I'm not.
The excuse that removes any sort of responsibility from me.

I'm not.
Not what? Not capable? Not worthy? Of course I am.

I'm not.
I have a soul strong enough to bend the world,
I have imagination to do anything I want,
The world is in my fingertips.
Of course I am.

I'm not.
But when my mind grips a hold and the nightmares of
Memories beyond that imagination of mine wash over me,
And all I can remember is how I felt when I held
Broken bones of the person who had saved me so many times over.

I'm not.
Not young? Not without pain? No.

I'm not.
But I can sure as hell still stand with this sky on my back and
Say to the world with pride “I am!”
Because what I'm not means nothing to me.
What I am not doesn't define me.
What I am is what shapes my soul,
And gives me the strength to move forward.

I'm not.
And at the same time,
I am.

Sticks & Stones

 Six when I held a stick

Bang Bang your dead

 Bobby fell in the mud

Yanks & Japs we played till sunset

All lived an died and laughed and bled

Thirteen when I held a cadet  rifle

Bang Bang the cardboard target hit on the range

Young shoulders bruised by the recoil

Smell of cordite

Now registered in my brain

Sixteen when I fired a Howitzer

Massive bang huge recoil

Huge shells slammed in the breach

Screeching death towards the ranges

Churning up the soil

Nineteen when I fired a missile

Bang whoosh as it left the beams

Direct hit on an enemy jet

Huge fireball

Forever in my dreams

Six when my rifle was a stick

Where Bobby can rise of from the dead

The War won before bedtime

Dirty holes in my jeans

My rifle safely hidden underneath my shed.



©  Tony McNally

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A Love For Today

My Everything


Oh sweet, sweet love

This day is meant for us

This day of passion and romance

With a hint of lust


Your crimson lips I yearn for

Your crimson lips that stain

Each and every memory

Helping me stay sane


Memories with a scent

Only your presence can leave

Another lost breathe,

That has been taken from me


Eyes molded in every thought

Angelic flesh beside me; lay

Sensations left on my skin

Reminders of the day


Traces of you are found

Intertwining with my heart

Footprint after footprint

A perfect love to impart


A day so sublime

A night so ideal

Today is meant for us

Flawlessly surreal



Sweet Surrender


Someday, sweet surrender

You'll have me by your means

Will you take me softly?

Will you make me scream?

Someday, sweet surrender

Your laugh will be the last

Upon my deafening ears, linger

I'm falling to your grasp

Someday, sweet surrender

My memories will surface, tenfold

Hushing my mind to silence

A lonely descent into the cold

Someday, sweet surrender

The fireflies will fly, high

Above, below, around me

Ashes dance upon the sky

Summer Nights




Blessed be thine eyes,

As I gaze upon the night.

Taken back by the beauty;

Everything silent, adorned in light.


Blessed be thine eyes,

As the moon lusters long.

Dispensing magical hours,

As the crickets sing their song.


Blessed be thine eyes,

Seeing the calming wind churn

Pieces of places and people

Eternity we will burn


Blessed be thine eyes,

The moonlight grass sways

Fragrances of firewood blossom

The sky has everyone’s gaze


Blessed be thine eyes,

Little bugs filled with light

Randomly illuminating

This faultless summer night








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Make A Memory To Remember You Lived


Years have passed before my eyes

I see the days and nights walking by 

But can’t recall any memory of my life


All years of me growing and learning

Is like I saw nothing 

And wonder where all my life went 

What have I learned and where I spent 


The different schools, countries, and people 

I studied, met, visited and lived in 

Is not even a memory 

But a dream that I must've dreamed 


Nothing is clear 

Not the faces, nor places 

The life I’m living is passing by so quickly 

Like the visions I have, fading 


If I stopped breathing 

And my heart stopped beating 

I wish to see what I forgot 

The love, humans, kindness I missed 


Maybe then I would’ve wish that I lived

In a world that is passing us by 

Just like that 

We could die 


When I want to remember something I’ve done 

That sent adrenaline through my body 

And made me want to run 

But I’ve faced it and had fun 


I can’t recall to any 

Because of the minimal amount of courage I had 

All the fears came running to me 

And made me hide under my disguise 


When I want to say what have I given back to the society 

I shut up and crawl back 

I did do things good in my life 

But I just can’t remember. Why?


Cherish the life you’re living 

Give your heart out and spread the blessing 

Then you’ll live in sanity 

In a world of insanity 


Nobody knows the day you’ll die 

When it’s ll over and you have to say goodbye 

You’ll have no time left 

Do something to remember you lived 




*Please Don't Leave Me,Please Stay*


 Trisha Barrek Hopkins


Everything we've gone through

These past weeks how can you just throw away

When deep down inside you knew

Our love was growing stronger each day

Even though I still got you as a friend

My days are still not blue

But you promised you wouldn't let the magic end

Baby please don't leave me

Please stay

Don't set what we have free

Just because that's the way she wants it to be 

Sweetheart can"t you see

God brought us together for a reason

So that stupid broken heart

It wouldn't be with us this season

I guess you didn't mean what you told

Now I'm falling apart

To me, Lies are what you sold

I loved you from the start

But I guess you were too blind

To see the feelings I still have inside

Someone so special again I'll never find

At least towards the world My love for you I won't hide

You promised you wouldn't make me cry

But I guess that was just a dream

Now I feel not myself

My love I need you to seal the seam

So I don't get lost in sadness and happen to die

If you don't want me put me back on the shelf

So I can just collect dust

And sit there with no glisten

In my eye

For me now alone is a must

To the world I'll say bye

A word from my lips

So many tears falling no one will listen


All I want is for you to not disappear

From my life

My broken heartbeat I hope you hear

Because Only you can repair

What has been broken

Why can't you understand

Your love is my token

I want to cherish and keep hold in my hand

This special gift God has given

It's like without you I don't want to go on living

I want to stare into your eyes forever

Have you hold me in your arms

Say "With me only you want to be forever"

To always send your loving charms

To give me your gentle kiss

Yes the one I melt for 

The one I so much miss

Honey you're the only one I adore

You're the only one that makes my heart skip a beat

Makes my feelings fly

I only with you want to create passion

Feel the heat

I ask of God to let us always be friends

For years ahead

Til the end

Remembering on what you said

"I love you too"

That my love I already knew

And guess what sweetheart

I love you

I have from the start

I care for you so

There are so many feelings

I just hope you know

I'll never leave your side no matter what

I pray to God you'll never let me go

And next to you Ill always stand

Because only you can make me glow

So someday down the road once again I hope you'll be my man

This time no one will tare us from eachother 

Because this time around

Our love will be stronger then ever 

I thank God everyday you're the one I found

In my heart you'll be there forever


I want no other 

So please keep that in mind

For when I get you back I'll never let go

Because you're a precious find

That at least I hope you believe

And deep down inside you know

You I can never leave

And even though I can't show it my love will grow

Someday I'll show

Someday I'll make you believe

That we're meant to be

Your charm I always fall for

When we come back to eachother

I'll never set you free

Your love I want more

Just you wait and see

Together won't be a bore

But for now God is in control

Soon all the memories I can store

Always know my heart you stole

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Dedicated to someone special......Derrick Mann

I lived and smelled the.....


Branch breaks on the tree

As the cold wind howls

Takes me back

Where no bird song was heard

No need to dive down….

This time..

Feet wet but warm

No brown peat water

Dissolving my toes


My young feet back then

When youthfulness protected

To the summit I walk

Leisurely stroll

Through Wordsworths beauty

At the top I sit……

Reflect of a time long gone

As clear as yesterday’s quick kiss

No bullets to load….

Grenades to ready….

Just a flask of hot coffee

Wake up and smell it….

A hint of whisky

For the Glorious dead.


© Tony McNally

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Tree of Life

Just a thought!

When I was young, I planted a tree

We talked a little each day

We'd stand around and shoot the breeze

Till I got old and grey
A sudden wind blew the mighty tree

and many limbs were tossed
The leaves, were etched with familiar names
of loved ones I had lost    

My tree, a lifetime journal, kept the names I would meet

A gust of wind came along and laid them at my feet
Each one held a memory, hidden in my past

Every leaf, a special moment, better than the last
The last contained a forgotten memory, and cut me like a knife,
An old man muttered,
 "Cherish every moment son, these are the best years of your life"
Author's Notes/Comments: 

"Tree of Life"

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