A Pig Is Not A Ham

Animal Rights


A lamb is a lamb

A clam is a clam

A pig is not a ham

A pig is not Spam

No being is an object

All are part of

the great I AM


saiom shriver

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Mary Had A Little Lamb

Animal Rights

Mary Had A Little Lamb

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Mary had a little lamb
She craved only
the leg of her lamb
Her little piglet
she wanted only
to turn into ham
She served their corpses
with scooped out clams
and threw in the lips,
snouts and eyes
of victims
musched into spam.

This 'food' termed

needed by MD and

admonge shams.

This carrion promoted

by hedge fund scams.

-saiom shriver-

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My son-in-law’s name is Fred and though I truly love the man

I’ve often wonder about his taste in food...for instance he loves SPAM.


But then I did some research I looked wide and I looked long

And I realized that, when it came to SPAM, perhaps I have been wrong.


SPAM was created by Hormel Foods back in 1937

And immediately the world was treated to a little piece of heaven.


They start with chopped pork shoulder meat and add a little ham

Then cover it with salt-about 800 milligrams.


And so it can sit in your pantry for a long time in reserve

They add potato starch as a binder and sodium nitrite to preserve.


And here is something I think even had the Hormel chefs amazed

When they cooked up SPAM the top of it forms a nice gelatinous glaze.


I’m not quite sure at what point Hormel knew it had a winner

Perhaps when they realized SPAM was good for breakfast, lunch or dinner.


You can cook it up with eggs, in a sandwich it’s a breeze

You can even add this product to make delicious mac and cheese. 


My initial cynicism about this product I shall no more repeat

No longer will I harass Fred or call it mystery meat.


Did you know at the end of the day, after all the SPAM is reckoned

It’s calculated 4 cans of this stuff is eaten every second.


Why it’s so popular in Hawaii, so much do the Hawaiians partake

That in the islands SPAM is known as the official Hawaiian steak.


And it’s not just those Hawaiians who are passionate SPAM fans

60 million other Americans eat that meat from in that can.


So Fred my apologies for ever doubting you...SPAM has it’s own mystique


And guess what you’ll be getting when your birthday comes next week. 

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"To the Devil Robot Bitch (A Letter)"

Letters & Speeches

by Jeph Johnson


I answered  several ads on the internet personals and only received four responses back that were real people.  Two other responses were from automated robots trying to get me to buy into a porn site to obtain the girl's elusive phone number.  Here was my reply back....


Dear Devil Robot Bitch,


You are really fucked to try to make monetary profit off of other people's loneliness. By the way, you did hear from me via email, but you are a robot, so the only way you can hear from me is if I brainlessly spend money to go to the "3rd" page of your adult website. Yeah, right! And you are so robotic that even though I said you were "fucked" you will probably still send me another "nice" email trying to get me to spend money to look at naked pictures of some woman that isn't even you. Like I am going to go to your website to find a phone number that costs me even more money to call, I am curious to see how you "justify" charging money once a poor lonely soul gets there. If you are a real person, when you are done bitching me out, please answer me that.


Real name:
Like it matters.....

Author's Notes/Comments: 


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