fear of losing

Glitch

I'm sorry,

If sometimes I sound

And act like
I'm pushing you away.

 

I'm not scared

Of losing anything...

I didn't need

Anyone...

My life has no

Greater meaning

Until I met you.

 

It's just that I'm beginning

To love you beyond

I've ever felt before,

Beyond I ever thought

I could,

And it scares the hell

Out of me.

 

It scares me

Because I have a glitch-

The one you know of.

Some time in the past,

I've allowed myself

To love -

Unconditionally...

 

And though I know

You are different

And THIS is incomparable,

Loving too much

Triggers the me that was

Hurt too much

 

And when it happens,

Something inside of me

Shuts off.

And I get scared,

And I try to fight it off,

Pretending I'm okay

When I'm not.

 

Worse, in defense,

I foolishly build

This stupid wall,

Made of silly words-

Between us.

 

Wall of words

To gather courage

That I'm ready for 

Anything

Because you and

Your happiness,

Mean everything

To me.

 

A wall I built,

As if I didn't know

That the warmth

Of your love and

The gentleness

Of your heart

Can see and pierce

Through it.

 

You know me better.

That I was dying

To be rescued.

You're still there

Unmoved, unshaken.

Hurt...

But waiting, patiently

With open arms-

For me.

 

I'm so, so, soooooooo very sorry.

If I sound 

And act like

I'm pushing you away.

More than anything,

Despite my glitch,

Please...stay.

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

-(c) angeljerlin 09Dec14

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