#death
YOU WILL LAUGH AGAIN
After she died…when he thought his world was coming to an end
he looked for solace and support…in the comfort of a friend.
He worried he was lost in a cloud of sorrow…
he wondered how…or where or when…
he would discover a way out…
If he would ever laugh again.
His friend, who understood his pain…
who’d been down a similar path
who knew of his own sorrow and suffering
felt his own anger…his own wrath…
Said…
“You never get over losing someone you love
there will always be a bit of sorrow in your heart
and your mind too…
but one day you will ask yourself…
what would she want you to do?”
“Would she want you be engulfed in sorrow
for the remainder of your days…
or would she want you to exit your cloud of sadness
and somehow find a way.”
“To live, to laugh, to love again…
and even though you are unsure….
the sadness lifts when you decide…
to do all these things for her”
“And do not worry my friend.” he said
“Take if from someone who was once lost within that cloud…
I have no doubt you will laugh again…
you’ll just never laugh as loud.”
HEAVEN WOUJLD HAVE TO WAIT
I’m sure we’ve all experienced it
something so difficult to comprehend.
A loss we feel down to our bones…
the death of a family member…or friend.
For no matter how healthy we are…
how strong we feel today…how capable…
though none of us want to believe it…
death is inescapable:
As he was seated by her bedside…
he had something he wanted to share.
He held her hand…closed his eyes
and shared this little prayer…
“I love you!” he whispered into her ear
and as a smile filled her face
“All I ask”, he said closing his eyes
“is for one more day in your embrace”.
The next morning…when he awoke
Despite his deepest fears…
Still by her side…still holding her hand
A smile floated on a sea of tears.
When he looked at her and she smiled at him
his heart beat a little stronger…
for he knew his prayer was answered…
and heaven would have to wait…a little longer.
IN THEIR FOOTSTEPS
When we’re feeling the pain of someone’s death
and looking for something to help restore us…
May we be blessed to remember
we’re always walking
In the footsteps
of those how came before us.
FOLLOW HER LIGHT
We attended a memorial service for a friend of ours
who recently passed away…
Where family and friends came to celebrate her life…
Where stories were shared,
songs were sung
and people bowed their heads to pray.
As I watched and listened to her family
sharing memories they’ve made throughout the years…
they filled the day with love and joy and laughter
mixed with sadness, sorrow and tears…
Sitting there I couldn’t help thinking how lucky we all were….
that a portion of each of our lives was blessed to be touched by her.
All the seeds of kindness and love she sowed with others…
all the flowers she helped bloom…
even thought she wasn’t there…were present in that room.
And by the glow on the faces of everyone who knew her
shining through the cherished memories we clutched…
It was obvious a little of her own light…
brightened everyone she touched.
If you ever wonder how people find their way
when someone they love dies…
how they climb out of the darkness and put the light back in their eyes….
I imagine their family and friends….
on their own time…
in their own way…
will find…
the best path out of their darkness
is to follow the light they left behind.
LOVE LIVES ON
When I lose someone I love…someone who was close to me
I try my best to follow the Native Nations’ wisdom and philosophy…
To stay with them a while
in those sweet places I call memories
To visit their smile often
To let their light warm and fill my heart
And always remember
Their love lives on through me
ENDINGS
A neighbor of ours died recently…unloved, old and all alone.
She was found, by a person walking his dog, in the doorway of her home.
She was a little bit crazy which made her angry, abusive, and mean
with no-one to say goodbye or mourn her…it was the saddest ending I’ve ever seen.
But the world is filled with sad endings isn’t it?
People dying of starvation, disease, abuse, natural disasters, the bullets and bombs of war…
Some children die who aren’t even old enough to understand what they are dying for!
And when it comes to our partners, our family, our children, our grandchildren…our friends…
It will always be difficult to find happiness when life comes to and end.
In a way we are programed for happy endings aren’t we?
In our Fairy Tales, our books, our movies, our stories on TV.
I wonder…knowing in real life…every ending will have its share of sorrow
will be accompanied by it’s share of tears…
If that’s the reason we love experiencing happy endings
as we grow older through the years.
When you think about it…when we find love and love find us..
for the duration it’s like a cloud we’re floating on…
and how can we not be sad…when the person sharing our cloud…is gone?
It’s inevitable when we love our partners, our children our grandchildren
our friends, our pets our Mom’s and Dad’s
that the same love that fills our hearts with so much happiness…
when there is an ending…makes us sad.
We will feel heartbroken, lonely, depressed, and we will always feel sad
after losing a person who helped make our dreams come true…
even dreams we never knew we had.
It’s ironic isn’t it…how love can be so wonderful while at the same time so heartrending…
that the happier a life we share with someone…the sadder is the ending.
I hope that everyone who dies…from the youngest to the oldest…
while they are alive will find love and happiness…and home…
So no one else will ever have to die again…unloved…and all alone.
Eudaimonia
THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT HEARING A PERSON TAKING HER LAST BREATHS AND GASPING, ASKING FOR GOD TO HELP HER. THE BREATHS GOT RASPIER AND QUICKER, THEN THE MOANING STARTED.. FEAR HAD SETTLED IN THE WOMENS VOICE. THEN JUST HEARING SILENCE. THAT EXCHANGE IS DISTURBING AND YET RELIEVING IN VERY AN ODD WAY.
GOODBYE BENJAMIN
My friend Brenda’s dad walked on the other day…
he turned 100 years old in June…
Why is it even when someone lives a long and happy life…
they seem to die too soon?
He was a war veteran and a farmer
who lived in the land where sheep and dairy cows grazed…
I never had the privilege of knowing him….
but I know the woman whom he raised.
He was a kind and loving person…
who enjoyed sitting in a glider under his favorite tree.
He loved his church, loved to laugh, loved music…
loved his friend and family.
He loved restoring tractors…he could, at times, be demure…
Since I never had the chance to meet him…
all these things I learned from her
You see, every now and then Brenda would toss a stone
into the lake that was her father’s life…
And as the ripples spread out concentrically..…
Some of them I’m happy to say…found their way to me.
Over the years to my delight as she tossed more stones
and more and more ripples spread…
a portrait of the man he was formed inside my head.
I learned a lot about him through those ripples…
a lot about Brenda too…
and thanks to her I came to know and now will miss…
a man I never knew.
When I look back on all I learned about him…
I am joyful but not amazed…
After all…I had the perfect teacher…
the woman whom he raised.
WELCOMING JOY AGAIN
This goes out to all us who’ve lost someone we love…(and isn’t that all of us?)
For those moments when we find it difficult to welcome joy back into our lives:
They spent their life together…finding joy, laughing, loving…and then
one day she died and he was left to wonder if he would ever find joy or laughter again.
He wondered how long it would take…how many months…how many years
before a memory…a thought of her…wouldn’t fill his eyes with tears.
He loved the life they built…and did not want her to infer…
If he laughed…if he found joy…that meant he was forgetting her.
Then in a misty fog of sadness one day…suddenly…out of the blue
arose a memory of her laughing…and he found himself laughing too.
And as more memories of her laughter flooded in
he realized there was a part of him his sorrow did not destroy…
that in spite of a constant shadow of sadness…
there was still room in his heart for joy.
He discovered so much about himself while she was alive
and now with her death he learned…
the best way to live with his sadness….
was to allow his joy and laughter to return.
Oh, he still has moments when sadness envelopes him…
and he knows for the rest of his life for sorrow he will not lack…
but since that day, with her encouragement, he’s welcomed his joy and laughter back…
Now whenever he smiles or laughs he looks up…
and thanks her for helping change his point of view…
knowing whenever he finds himself laughing…
somewhere…
she will be laughing too.