a problematical relationship

Sanctum

These ups and downs don't mean a thing
I'll still continue to stare down these walls
locked in a contest until the end of time
where if one speaks, they break resolve
So hunt me down and blow me off
I stopped caring a long, long time ago

For what words can you say to stiffen me?
How you portray...that's the best you can be? (ha)
I've dealt the fool's card time and time again
But this war is no longer mine
and my guns are all bloody, soaked red with time

Cut my hair and knock me off that pedestal
Belay the crown atop my head
Am I not a knight in a queen's fashioned palace?
Or am I but a peasant seeking reprieve?
How, how could you do this to me?
Lend me your eyes and let me see what they see
Waters are rising in up to my knees
damn you confusion!
You'll only draw higher

I should have run at the drop of the first pin
but I waited unto anxiety
to hear your words, your broken pleas
But now...tis' naught but memory
My dear, you've grown old in your naivety
No one left to feed your spite
or drip your ego til' it bites
to sink its teeth into the flesh that bleeds until it finds the site
gorging tender pain and strife
and like a snake, let go its hold
until it finds another life

My darling, how cruel you've turned
your once sweet voice now flaked with hate
I beg you, look unto the sun
and dance within its rays
and discard those dark and dreary shadows
that have you locked within their daze
Could I but muster the energy
I'd hurl you forth to wondrous praise
but my hands are far too grazed
and I do not wish to drop you

So I'll play among the daffodils
and sing with wolves in clover fields
crane my neck up towards the sky
to let my voice be heard to heal
and sleep once more til' moon is nigh
like dusk to paint the evening pyre
Won't you come with me...and dance among its weary fire?

Light my candles and settle with me
as we sit in naked ecstasy
These primitive flames, they will not bite
For they are too innocent
and shelter no remorse to spite
Take my hands...and I will take you far away

But in the end, I know you won't
for you are too afraid
My heart was yours but tis' no more
I cannot grieve unto this day
My eyes are no more prey to tears
but at your feet, I duly laid
The lion in me roars my release
and calls my name to sanctum peace
Remember this day, my dear...for I am free

No longer caring
For now, for now I fight once more for me!
And you...you are just the memory

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Ehhhh...this one was a spur of the moment kinda thing. We all go through bad relationships (at least the majority of us do) and when we finally realize that we can do better, we accept that, and move on. :)

You Never Loved Me

Ours was never special
All are illusions in my head
You treat me so casual
Heart has been misled

You hold my hand like any other
No different from the rest
Kissed me like you have kissed so many
Embraced without caress

I considered you my true love
While you thought of me as just an option
You were my heaven sent from above
Whereas you regard me as very common

I guess I assumed too much
A weak minded fool
And so continue living, as such
Life can be so cruel

Author's Notes/Comments: 

She has never really loved me the way I love her :(

Behind Closed Eyes

Stop! Close your eyes, imagine me...
What do you see?
A tall, dark and handsome man
Be kind and charming is my plan.
I'm everything you ever wanted,
Yet I'm everything I've ever hated. 
You had your eyes closed from the very start, you're blind, 
Completely out of your mind.
I deceived you, I'm a succubus,
I'm sorry it wasn't obvious.
But misery loves company
And love is just lusts disguise,
Well so it is behind closed eyes.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is my first ever poem and my first time showing anyone this. I apologise in advance for any grammar mistakes and such, so please don't criticise me on that, after all poetry is the expression of ones feelings not the expression grammatical knowledge.

Slipping away

Shanell Meek
Unpublished Work © December 28, 2011

My eyes are opening,
No more rosy glasses please!
My heart is breaking,
One Piece,
Two Pieces,
And now three…..
The more I see us,
Slipping away.

The more I think,
Of two years lost,
The more I see us,
Slipping away.

The more I sleep,
Alone in our bed,
The more I think,
We’re slipping away.

Time is the hardest,
Test to take,
The longer we wait,
The more we slip away.

The more used I feel,
The more I think,
We’re slipping away.

The longer it takes,
For some little sign,
To show you care,
Whether I am here,
Or going away,
The more I wonder,
If we’re slipping away.

The longer I wait,
For any little thing,
That proves to me,
You love me,
As much as I love you,
The more I wonder,
If I should just slip away.

Would you miss me?
Would you care?
Do you see me standing here?
I’m just waiting,
For you to reach…
Just ask me to stay…..
Before I Slip Away.

You may want to kiss me,
I’m hoping you’ll miss me,
When I’ve slipped away.

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ladies keep your man

i wanna be your number 1, your number 2, and your number 3
dont wanna think about anyone taking you im happy with you an me
i want you to be ride or die next to me in the passenger seat
i want you to stand up for me if anyone is talking cheap
and if any girl try an flirt with me u should let her know there is no chance of her hooking up with me
an if u catch me flirting you allowed to scream an yell at me
but if you let it go i might do it again
im telling you ladies gotta fight for your man
dont let other women try an get him
an dont give him the option to try an get them
give him a reason every day to let him know y u his number 1
an now a days u might have to act like a bitch but thats what keeps other bitches away an him there to stay

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"if stretched over two continents"

the feeling of emptiness is all that is left
with memories of i love yous and forget me nots
an ocean now resides between our touch
but maybe that is just a little too much

building foundations that i know one day will fall
but never thinking this is could be the downfall of us
chasing' nothing is what i do best
because i am good at misjudging the length of this gap

no sympathy i cant find it for myself
this was bound to happen no matter what i tell myself
this isn't the place where i keep my head
but i can't keep my shots from hitting the ground

holding my breath as i wait patently
as everyone knows this will consume my soul
so blinded by stupidity that i can break abruptly
everyone sees this as a non just play

as the door i opened shuts in my face
i begin to wonder why i sought this out
because i knew one day she will sail away
these sorrows i cant keep to my self

as i weep for a love that isn't there
a heart cant keep beating and trusting
if stretched over two continents

i knew one day she would sail away with my dreams
but still i let her hold on to them for safe keeping

Author's Notes/Comments: 

not written about me

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