Finding Independence from the Shadows a collection of poems by CM


The aching in your being
It’s longing to break the bars
Escape the captors
And soar freely
Not to worry about the another person
Being disappointed
In you
No more
Breaking the chains
Finally free
Finally able to feel
And be me


The phoenix in me

I begin to heal
(very slowly)
I being to walk
(learning anew)
I begin again
(arising from the ashes)
I begin to live
(perhaps for the first time)


Be strong

Be strong for you
Because sometimes that’s all you’ve got
Be strong
There will always be people
Who want to tear you done
Because you’ve got something
Not everyone else can have
Be strong
You’ve got friends
No matter how hopeless
You think it is
Be strong
For you
Because no one else
Will be strong for you


To my friends

I don’t know why
I think good things won’t happen to me
I don’t know why
People still put faith in me
When I leave none for myself
I don’t know why people see my beauty
When I don’t
I don’t know why people can call me a friend
When most of the time I’m a royal you know what
I don’t know why I’ve been given so many chances
By people who really shouldn’t bother
I don’t know why
I can’t see to do this on my own
When I really am making the effort (I swear)
I don’t know why
Half the things happened to me that do
But I’m beginning to understand
Everything happens for a reason
You fall down, you get up
I don’t know where all the these friends came from
But I’m eternally grateful for them



Sometimes we find peace
In the things that gave us chaos
Sometimes we find solace
In the things that destroyed us
Sometimes we face out fears
Instead of running away
Things happen
That we cannot truly explain
It is harder to back track
On things done & words said
We just have to simply exist
Live for ourselves
And for the moment
Even if it doesn’t last
That’s all we have


Free Flowing

Verses flow through my mind again and again
It doesn’t help to block them out, gotta reign them in
Gotta let it out, gotta let the words flow
Part of the evolution of an artist, just gotta let things go
My words are harsh, sometimes cruel
My life lessons need to be used as a tool
Most people would say “she’s only twenty-five”
But I’m thankful for every day I’m alive
I’ve fought the battles against my own self
Where my confidence and self-worth were put on a shelf
Struggled to make it day by day
Coming through the haze with a lot more to say
Don’t let anyone tell you who to be
Because in the end, it’s you who has to feel free

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This collection is about rediscovering the things that make you "you", its the aftermath of the storm after a break up, seeing the sunlight and finding the strength to move on. Comments as always are welcome.

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Treading water,
Cold depths,
Aimless currents,
Maddening silence.


In the darkness I feel alone,
The silence creeps into your bones,
I miss your voice,
But only the silence answers.


My soul is longing for something missing,
Lost connections that are a world apart,
We are still friends, right?
Why can't I find you?


Memories of fun times,
Memories of sad times,
Memories of love,
Memories of silence.


I'm drifting without you...
I don't hate you...
I miss you...
Don't you miss me?


It's like grasping at sand,
only to have it sift through your hand,
to reach out for something in hopes of peace,
and to be greeted with.... nothing.

I feel like I'm tossed about,
I meant what I said,
but life drowns us out,
I'm still treading...


Are you drifting too?
Or are you grounded?
Are you looking?
Are you waiting too?


Am I worth anything?
Perhaps I'm not?
Perhaps I'm just a memory,
Vainly struggling to come back.


I feel useless,

I'm faithful and loyal, does that count for something?
If so, why am I just...






Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is for all the friends I've lost contact with. Some nights, I wish I had you to talk to again...
I know I'll never be truly alone, but I hate losing contact with friends I love.

This isn't pretty, it just needed to come out. I hope it resonates with other viewers in some way.
Thanks for reading....

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the day of lose

wanted to run away
it wasn't easy
decision failed
it felt like volcanic burst from inside
destruct the value of study
first day of a class
first day of new form of mine
you walked towards a clean fountain
and i'm going far away
neither desire work nor despair
just letting it pass
like nothing is going on

wanted to run away
but this wall of hard bricks
stood as a tough teacher
he said , he still saying
there's no way out of it
given me negative facts
and gave me rotten thoughts
wanted to putrefy him with his thought

the day of lose
lose of everything
the first day was a worst day
tears came out as a flood
even in a lack of water
wanted to run away
but it wasn't easy

Author's Notes/Comments: 

i write this poem for thinking about my first day in a new class

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Just hang on

Just hang on for it wont be long,
you'll be happy and proud in a short time
to see all that you've done for family and
friends truly does matter.

Just be calm its almost here a new life for,
all of us that are so dear ,clean and sweet
happy and sound peace within are hearts
no tears to burn just the sound of laughter
from you're family and friends all chatting

with the child a bay happy a kid again
loving every moment of it with you all
he will grow up proud and tall.

so just relax take a breath it all will come,
to us within a blink of an eye and all will
be happy to live the rest of our lives

Author's Notes/Comments: 

this is for my dear friend joanne

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something about us

I learnt, it still here
fill with goluptious moment in a sorrow
cause of importance
important then a sorrow
left behind the ash of black heart
get the ash of white heart

standing in a dark
no way of approaching light
despair not ready to disappear
even you standing just front of me
stuck in me, nowhere else
become unconscious in conscious
everything has been done
waiting for the conclusion

we were fighting in weird language
we learnt weird techniques
we made a dream for remembrance
we made our own music
At the ground the competition of stamina going on
running too fast and make them too
those remembrance is something about us

I learnt, it still here
fill with goluptious moment in a sorrow

Author's Notes/Comments: 

i write this poem for my friends

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For Angie

My bestest friend
You left to soon
We still had so many
things to do
Take that trip to the beach
Feel the sand
Beneath our feet
Watch scary movies
And eat popcorn
Chat on the computer
Or call on the phone
Take a trip to the mall
Or to just no where at all
My bestest friend Angie
I'll miss you so much
For you were my right arm
And I was your Crutch
But I'll see you again
One day I am sure
And we will toast to our friendship
A friendship so pure

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2/28/2010. I miss you

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we fall with a new gain
we up with a new game
A bird, to find her aisle
with tears in her eyes
her clash make her learn
for those tears of her big eyes
her collision to mountains
make her learn
for those tears of unite

our life is a mystery
like we never understand newton's history
his laws, his discoveries
just walk through out limit of mind competency
somewhere life is like enigma
but i never understand enigma

our division
meet with everyone
somewhere end with everyone
we starting with one point
we'll run at every trace
we'll work like a best cop

at the end
i hope everyone will rock at the stage of life
our division will end the side of our
but won't leave the affection of our for each other
our race just going to start
so won't fall in the ground of path

we fall with a new gain
we up with a new game

Author's Notes/Comments: 

i wrote this poem for my friends

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today, is the last day

the time has come
the main part of our life
which choose us
which choose our level of ability
which test our limit of bear

its a time to confess
its a time to sat
that tomorrow is not easy
that change our guts
the smile in our eye
but the same emotions we can't hide

today, is the last day
of our time
to tie our time
as hard as strong we can
the end of this class
but not of our friendship
this is our day
today, is the last day
but maybe is our test day

Author's Notes/Comments: 

this poem is about the last day of my class with my friends

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Ken, Barbie, and the Dollhouse

the shadowy disaster of aggressive consumption
rots the soul of the human heart
eyes hollow like bullet holes to the head
dreams of chaos buzzing in your head now eyes wide awake
no sleep for the wicked
paranoia the voices tell him to go, tell him to hide
behind the walls of illusion
we know who you are
what you've become
is like a scar ingraved in the one world you think you live in
the world thats bigger than me and you
your sinking! your sinking!
goodbye truth.
goodbye friends.
i walk alone.

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