Emotionless

I Can't Feel Anymore

it all starts when someone I love or trust-in hurts me over and over again
I stop feeling; no emotions left for any tears,
no emotions left for someone who gives me the right kind of love to feel loved back
and even tho I want to feel for that person and show how much I do care,
nothing, nothing shows
no tears to even force down my cheeks
emotionless I stand there
like I'm made of stone.
the only thing that hurts is not caring.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

this was my first poem that i wrote when i was 12 years old.

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AfterLife

Folder: 
Raps

Yea I'm... back again with another rap in tack ; here to kill these lame fucks with some murderess flashbacks ; so let me remind who I am ; mr. lyrical suspend ; that Maniac with the pen ; to offend them lessened haters who don't seem to listen ; who stay bitchin and don't learn there lesson ; cuz it's this the type of urge they lackin ; so they slackin ; & start stacking all that garbage that they spit ; not realizing that every word that comes out there mouth is whack shit dam.. ; an ounce of lyricism is enough get ur bags pack ; cuz all I gotta do is mention ur name to kill u in one track ; that mystery slaughter niqqa best known as the zodiac ; & im here to stay with no intensions to leave ; this that murder word play homie ; get ready for ur ears to bleed ; as i alternate my struggles infuriated by troubles ; only focus on my morals & standards that which I live by ; & it seems making money is da only way to get by ; tryna get into the game while dieing for my new high ; can't even express an emotion cuz my eyes lost the will the cry ; like they dgaf anymore to waste there time factoring in the pain of this life ; & i guess my hand took that role cuz my pen starts to empty out as I write ; as i strife & unite all da words that's insight ; & as I continue to fight u see the dead rising jus to pray & regain there faith into the light ; cuz they jus saw me bring hip-hop back from the after life..

.

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Scars

Every scar on my body brings back memories

But, the scar on the inside brings pain and misery

I loved you with all my heart from beginning to end

I gave everything up, and now I don't have you

I opened my arms and gave you help

I opened my mind and gave you knowledge

I opened my heart and gave you love

I trusted you with my heart

Until you broke it apart

How could I be so wrong

If only for one day, I can show you what it feels like

If only for one day, you could wear my scars

The scars you left in my heart

The day you walked out of my life

The scars that brings pain and misery

Author's Notes/Comments: 

i wrote 9/11/09

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Gacy

Candy is his and yours,

we don't know what happens

behind his doors.

Big yellow van he drives,

making laughs changes lives.

Paint on his face,

tricks in his case.

The love for children almost too much,

people say he's psycho and such.

He comes to his family at home,

the streets are a daily roam.

Sticks a knife in his plate,

and gets sick from the food he ate.

In the bathroom walls can't speak,

in the bathtub nothing will leak.

A drain filled with crusty blood,

dried to the walls, telling a story

of it all.

Buries them out back,

in a big old cotton sack.

He sleeps like a baby.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

john wayne gacy, poem about him.

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Fading

looks like its time to go back to pretending

not a chance of our happy ending

never being the person you want me to be

spending my life alone dreaming of what could have been



one kiss from you could stop all the hurt

but never seemed to relive you of your pain

you were always the blossom on my trees

the reason i learnt about the birds and the bees



i can never undo the things i did to you

all i can say is im glad you pulled through

i will always love you so

and i just wish i knew that you know



love is two hearts that beat together

my heart beats with yours and i hope it lasts forever

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Untitled 1

I drown my mind, half innocent, in your flesh,

a sea of joy: I never care how it began,

nor where it will lead. I

submit myself to the stillness of your

time:

fulfilled not only of carnal wants; but

of wants that would fill my life with

senses: a sort of meaning that sprung

both from desperation and hope,

a meaning that I've long been

seeking. What

remains in my thought is the gentle

image of your soul, peeking through

your eyes, in a place that

feeds the body.



(Was it unexpected?)

Author's Notes/Comments: 

P.A. ----

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My Heart

I possess this thing

It is a part of me even though sometimes I feel like it isn’t…sometimes I feel like it’s nonexistent

It’s round, for the most part at least

It’s not what people envision it to look like…it’s…different



Sometimes it beats, other times it doesn’t..it’s just…there

Almost like it’s…lifeless

I know it’s there but it hurts so badly sometimes that I can’t feel it



Pain



It feels this often…too often in fact that I can feel the scars reforming around it

It’s patched up…all over…it’s in bad shape

It bleeds…not badly anymore but it still has it’s days



It races…faster than the wind when it’s happy

It’s been experiencing this a lot lately actually

This can’t think straight, can’t beat in sync feeling…

It’s new but delightful



What is this thing that I keep describing?

It’s a muscle, a muscle that has told me that I love him…truly deeply love him

But in the end it was nothing

It’s the thing that keeps me alive even when I feel like I’m dying

It keeps me up at night, all the bad times resurface…giving me thought to think upon which I should not

It makes me sad and makes me happy all at the same time, on the same day

It’s warm and loving when it knows it’s loved by those for whom it cares so much for

It’s cold and ruthless when it comes to those who have taken advantage of it countless times

So many times that it overpasses its own beats



I keep my guard up so much that I miss out on good things…they pass right by me

I shut them all out…I’m scared…of what?

I’m scared that it will, this round, red, lump that I own, will shrivel up and be no more

I’m scared that it will stop beating, stop loving, stop caring, stop keeping on…

It’s the one thing I cherish the most

The one that tells me what to do and not to do

It knows me better than I know myself…

It’s not much but it’s all I have and I call it

My heart….

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Consequences

Oblivious to Fact

Not True, Nor Exact

Suffering Embraced

Soul Controller

Sealer of Fate

Ears Unworthy

The Heart is Closed

Black as the Night

The Truth has been Told

Ignorance Claimed

Knowledge Ignored

The Price of Fame

Is Far Much More

Author's Notes/Comments: 

heed my warning

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SILENT FLIGHT

What lies beneath a sea of numb

Where ships of heart were taken down

Sunk to the bottom with the one

I hated and I meant to drown



For in its hull it carried pain

Instead of what its purpose was

And thus I had immense disdain

Because it never carried love



So yes, I set it in my sights

Then fired all I had and more

Carpet-bombing through the night

To sink it to the ocean floor



And when it finally disappeared

I flew away and did not know

The others ships were likewise pierced

Doomed just as well to slip below



They sank at random, one by one

The ships of pride and hope and fear

Of aspiration, sad and fun

The ship of peace, the ship of tears



The ship of drive, the ship of will

No ship was spared, the plight went on

They fell, and fell, and fell, and fell

Until at last all ships were gone



So now in silent flight I go

No signals come as were before

No guidance from the sea below

No hope of landing…anymore



…Jeff Bresee

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