Decisions

No Thanks.

No, thanks, I don't need a smoke

Just the thought makes me gag and choke

Do you realize your destroying yourself?

When you took your first hit did you think of your health?



No, Thanks, I don't want to have sex.

I don't give a damn about your bulging biceps

Don't you know what can occur?

Pregnancy and STI's with no absolute cure.



No, thanks, I don't need to do drugs

I don't want to be dazed lying on a rug

Did you know you can get hooked?

There's information on it, if only you'd look.



No, thanks, I control my life.

It's one without smoking, Drugs, or strife.

You'll never change that, you can't pressure me

I'll only be who I want to be.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this a long time ago. It was after one of my 'friends' tried to pressure me into having sex. 2003

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List Prepped for Eventual Succession

Become a published author.



Have a column in a magazine I'm fond of.



Possibly take part in a web comic.



Become an accomplished percussionist.



Learn how to play the banjo with skill.



Record and mix my own music.



Become familiar with Muay Thai, Kung Fu and Capoeira.



Turn myself into a physically strong, capable person.



Improve my writing in every possible way I can.



Do my best to avoid drinking for my entire life.



Keep Rudy intact and in shape for as long as I'm alive.



Improve my voice, and learn to sing.



Perfect my drawing style and learn to add color skillfully.



Experience True Love.



Donate to charity regularly.



Remain a gamer for the rest of my life.



Keep in touch with old friends, as well as making new ones.



-- Most Unlikely to Happen, but what I Desire Most --



Write the script, produce the art, decide the mechanics and create the characters for my own 2-D fighting game.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Maybe.

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Choose my World

Folder: 
old poems

Inside she knows it's too late

But part of her won't give in

The worlds battle for her soul

Who will she let win?

She continues to feed you this pain

And the hope that it'll still be alright

At home, only darkness sees her bleed

As she cries and turns off the light

She can't make sense of her mind

All she hears now is screaming

She closes her eyes and shakes her head

Please tell me I am dreaming.

What is she doing to the world?

Living her life [this mistake]

It's too late to save her now

They watch her twist and break

They tell her she's important

Don't they see she doesn't belong?

She isn't meant for this world

She knows that they are wrong.

Tell me why, then, she reaches out

To find your shaking hands

When there is no room for hope

(Is it those two twisting bands?).

Bound so carefully together

Wrapped delicately around a thumb

Reminding her to be strong, that maybe

There's still something she can become

Inside she knows that it's too late

But part of her just won't give in

The worlds battle for her soul

Which deserves to win?

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Confusing Wish

Folder: 
Depressed Poetry

Lifes so confusing

What am I to do?

Do I want this?

Does he?



So many questions,

Racing through my head

I don't know

What the answers could be.



My heart says one thing,

My friends say the other.

My wish has come true

But I don't know what to do....

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TORN

Folder: 
Depressed Poetry



Thoughts are flooding me

every which way.

My mind is screaming

with the hurt you once caused.

My heart is bleeding

with the love that I feel.

I am mentally torn

between my heart and my mind

which do I choose

when it comes to you?

Do I stay?

Or do I walk away?

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Limitations

Folder: 
Just a thought!

Limitations



Lured to the Dark side,

Seduced by Entities calling us from within...

Lusting blindly to forge the abyss

Yet, confined and restrained by frailty,

We decline to self preservation.



                         by Barry Anderson

Author's Notes/Comments: 

"Know Your Limitations!"

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Endurance Test

Folder: 
Poems

And who have I but you to blame now,

for the lingering scent of flowers as I walk down the hall?

Why else should the sunshine burn and blind me?

Tell me, why am I frightened of it all?

I don't want to be petrified any more

Masochist to which I cater,

forcing me to crumble on the outside from within.

A nerve and heart I've no match for.

Our Lord Father, once again let me have my sin.

Forced into this act of contrition,

merely for being alive enough to feel.

But feel is a four letter word, isn't it?

You're going to have to hit me with something real.

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you're cute...



i am afraid, i'm embarrassed and my speech is now crass

i'm confusing myself and feeling harrassed

pondering whether or not we should meet

cuz it just may turn into a meet and greet

i enjoy when we chat and the times that we've smiled

and just let it flow from our minds and got wild

but i keep on going over this thought in my head

the way it would be to have you in my bed

not undressed or engaged in some hot date relation

just wrapped up in the cuddling and mental masturbation

our chats are so sweet and fierce in their fire

til for us to meet i am not sure i desire

so public we'll stay in our talking and chilling

i want to be your friend, if you are still willing?....

Author's Notes/Comments: 

a striking muse has sprinkled smiles and encouragement and the innocence of the ties must be reserved, here's my solution....

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guilty conscense

Folder: 
saga's

I feel your famine and your anguish

No escape from the treason you have committed



I have caused more harm than I have given hope

I threw myself A lifeline but denied by fate.



Angel of mercy have pity on my soul for what I have done to myself and others

see me as I am not for what I have done feel me as the breeze that sweeps across your face

hear me as you would A child crying for help



justice calls

the hammer of justice comes falling down

the hammer of justice falls and my soul feels sorrow

guilty conscence for a guilty soul










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