bitter

Insecurities

my insecurities are stalking me.
you're steeped in sickness but i fret over your unresponsiveness.
i feel like i need you more then you need me.
the voices of discontent grow louder in my head.
i want to believe your reasons are legitimate,
but the lies of past lover's leave me unconvinced.

i pick apart our time spent.
is there a deception i have missed tucked away among your perfect words?
a riddle or mystery waiting to be solved has emerged.
this has been an amazing journey,
but my daddy's words echo, "if it's too good to be true,
then he's probably lying to you"

my flaws are becoming prominent.
your concern for your own contentment grows.
you have your life all planned out and i'm not in it.
i'm a wildcard that only cast doubts.
you reassure me it'll be okay.
you tell me i have nothing to worry about
then why am i worried?

my feet cast shadows on the wall.
i watch my fears come out to play.
i don't know how to turn these lemons into lemonade.
i don't have the nerve to complain.
you explained yourself just yesterday,
but i'm still confused!

the pressure to be who you want gets to me.
i want to be who you think i am.
i hide the bitter, fearful, depressed parts of me.
i struggle every day to be half of who i am.
i don't want to ruin the illusions you have.
you are what i see i wish i could be more like you.

my insecurities are ready to overtake me.
just beyond my reach is sanity.
i must resist the urge to flip my lid.
there's questions i have that are unreasonable.
i keep waiting for my fears to fade, but know i now they are my friends.
this is how i protect my heart.
i freak out then fall apart!

Leave Me Alone

This pain has been around
For so long now,
I don't even remember
What caused it.
Perhaps it was the
Dark monster,
That waits for me when I go home.
Maybe it was those
Twisted shadows,
That never want to
Leave
Me
Alone.

It could have been
From all the smiles,
That had been used
When there should have
Been tears.
Or possibly the
Nightmares, that run
Wild through my room
At night.
I think it was the
Frosty friends,
Who always wanted to
Leave
Me
Alone.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I hate when everything goes wrong.

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Fading

Seen from a distance
Fluttering in the breeze
The sweet perfection
Is fading.

As the sun grows dark
And the moon becomes too bright
The once immortal
Are fading.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

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