The way you build the poem: The way you build the poem through repetition, praise language, and strong imagery creates a clear sense of devotion. The structure and tone stay consistent from start to finish.
You captured the weight of: You captured the weight of living through a crisis we never asked for. The fear, the uncertainty, the prayer at the end — it all lands with real honesty.
This reads like a soft: This reads like a soft unraveling, the kind you only notice in the quiet. The sensory details make the heartbreak feel real and close.
I like how you make time feel: I like how you make time feel human — gears turning, hearts driving the motion, love setting the pace. The imagery is warm and grounded, especially that scene beneath the stars.
The way you tie the fading: The way you tie the fading light to self‑awareness is powerful. Those quiet moments between sunset and dawn really do reveal where we stand.
The repetition of aiming high: The repetition of aiming high but landing two feet away says everything. It’s a powerful portrait of someone fighting gravity they don’t want to admit is there.
The imagery is powerful —: The imagery is powerful — dust over the eyes, kicked under the dresser, the sudden shift from being wanted to being overlooked. You captured that kind of loss with real clarity.
This reads like the moment: This reads like the moment you realize something can’t be rebuilt, no matter how hard you chase it. The minimal lines make the emotion even sharper.
You captured the weight of: You captured the weight of inheritance — how land, power, trauma, and blame get passed down whether we want them or not. A strong, necessary reflection.
The satire cuts clean in this: The satire cuts clean in this one. The way you show the media swooning over power while ignoring the damage behind it is sharp and unsettling
Thank you for taking the time: Thank you for taking the time to read it. Jessie Trice’s work shaped healthcare for so many families here in Miami, and her story deserves to be remembered. I’m glad the poem opened that door for you.
The way the word breaks down: The way the word breaks down line by line says a lot — it’s like watching humanity fade piece by piece. Strong visual message.
This was a fun read — the: This was a fun read — the rhymes, the misunderstandings, the office chaos. You’ve got a real gift for turning everyday moments into comedy.
I like how you built the: I like how you built the whole week one letter at a time. The structure itself carries the humor — you can feel the weight of each day stacking up
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