My Worst Nightmare

I thought I had a friend I thought she was true

But in the end she left me to go through

The nightmares you could only fear

And now I sleep and wake with tears

I hear the door locking every night

I feel his kisses and it’s not right

I remember yelling I rather die

I remember his voice don’t ask why

Things he said I cannot forget

The fears I’d love to just get rid

I fear my boyfriend

I fear his touch

I fear I’ll wake up and it will be Josh

His name I remember I can’t let go

Because he hurt me more than you know

How long will I be like this?

How long will I run?

How long can I shiver if Steve is the one?

I can barely kiss him

I barely can sleep

I barely let him see me weak

But when I cry he’s always there

I know he loves me and that he cares

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I really do cry all the time, this one guy makes me fear the night, and the comforting embrace of my boyfriend

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Give it up

You thought u could play with my heart

tear it to  pieces

Make me cry make me die

My heart crys for you but u look away

u doubt me as your Boyfriend

Must be ashamed of who i have become

I loved you from day one

I loved you with all my hear and soul

But u never cared

What could i do for you to see me

So i am not so invisable to you

U made me cry

when i finally get over you

Wanting me to take you back

I turn around and say i gave you my all

Now give it up I dont want you hurting me  

Author's Notes/Comments: 

this is for all the who have to deal with this stuff day to day..

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To My Old Freind


"Will I lie to myself to be happy?"   -Leonard Shelby

You sit in front of me.

I see you.

The light reflects off of you.

A single glare.

When will you be gone?

Why do you hurt me so?

Why do I let you?

I opened myself to you,

    And you opened me.

I let you in,

    And you hurt me so.

The cuts were deep.

I bled for you.

I ask again for it,

    But won't.

You don't help.

You only cause pain.

You make me cry.

I grew up not knowing you.

Now that i do you won't leave.

I know more because of you.

I would be happier now knowing.

Forgetting one such as you is hard,

Even when all signs are gone.

A memory of times wishing to be forgotten.

So easy.

All prepared.

What keeps me from it?

What stops me?

What will I lose if I do?

What is there to lose?

Old friend I listen.

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Silent Tears I Cry

2006-07 Poems

Before the fall,

The last waves of summers heat,

Rise in the aoutom wind.

Pushed away by the approaching fall air.

The man online on the hill,

Lost in thought.

Curled upon the rocks.

His chin on his knees,

Eyes glazed over in the fog of thought.

Winters gray hand looms overhead,

As the last colors of life swirl around,

Sourrounded in the rainbow of life.

But the boy is too lost in thought.

Dosen't notice the beauty all around.

Rocking back and forth,

Silently crying to himself.

All he sometimes wants,

Is to just be alone.

Cry to nature,

To all thats around.

The rain starts to fall,

The season sharing his pain.

He loves the rain.

The water drips down his face,

Though silent,

The tears no longer need to hide,

They intermingle with the water,

Pour down his face.

Wash away the depression,

Hides it from the locking world.

Fights it everyday,

No one would guess,

They don't care enough.

And his act is too good,

Hides it so well.

But on a day as gray as today,

It all bleeds through.

No longer cougt up in supression,

Depression takes its hold,

Depression takes its toll,

And he cries the pain away.

Cracks form in his hardened facade,

But his defences are always up.

Never lets them in.

Slowly wasting away,

As the rain washes it all away.

The gray gives way to night,

Snow falls in all around.

The boy sits alone,

Chilled down to his bone.

Freezing in the winter night,

Shivers alone on the stone.

The tears turn to ice.

Anger boils over,

The icy hands of hate.

Hates so many, so much.

Hates his life.

The hate gives him warmth,

Anger keeps him alive.

He won't freeze tonight.

The sun rises on a dark winters night.

Ignites the red mourning sky.

Death all around,

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Hello Heartache::::

September 07

Hello heartache,

I can see you are back again

You left me for a while

But here you come waltzing in wearing that famous smile

What are you doing back here

I thought you left me for a reason

I had found someone to erase ever tear

But to see you back means only one thing, the end of a season

And with the tears pouring from my eyes

I can tell that season is love

Tell me was it all just lies

Is there really a heaven above

So hello heartache, I hope you can answer my question

That I wish I didnt need to ask

Why couldnt you just pretend he didnt leave

That is not a hard task

I could have easily chose to believe

But since you are back in my life again

I cannot pretend that it is hard to take

I must let go of pride and let you in

and I hope this is the last time I will have to say,

Hello heartache

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You like to see me suffer.

Watch as I bleed to dead

It pleasures you to see me like this

After all you’re the one who caused this

I’m the weakness that gives you strength

The one that has to pick up your pieces

The source of your despair

The weak link in this game

Lay your burdens on me

These torments never end

The black sheep still has to endure more

More sorrow and pain

The pain which drives a man insane

Slowly creeps up behind me

Any more suffering and

I will fall right into its hands

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Living With Shades


There are shades in my house.

Like family members they stalk the rooms coming and going.

One is the shade of a baby girl,

So faded now that only two can still see her.  

Another, much stronger, is that of a young man,

Powerful he strides through the house.

Often I think I could touch him, I hear his voice,

He’s been a shade for a month now.

His car haunts us too.

The third shade is solid, pale, hollow eyed, otherwordly, but I can touch it.

It takes on the outward form of my wife, although much changed.

This shade feasts on grief and chokes on memories.

I could easily mistake it for my wife!

I hope the lively, warm and vivacious woman that I married, who I know and love, will find her way home soon

And drive this dreadful apparition from the house!

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Suffer Not


Suffer not my child, the storms grim blast.

Nor winters winds and icy rages.

This unkind world did not deserve.

Your presence or your childish laughter!

View rbpoetry's Full Portfolio

Living in the Eye


Ten o’clock in the evening and I’m clinging to routine.

I take my bicycle and my dog and set off on one our long accustomed routes.

Five miles, between the flooded fields and the overflowing streams.

In the summer that wasn’t.

The night is beautiful, the moon bright and three quarters full,

Peering from behind a few shreds of cloud,

Remnants of the storm, which still rumbles to the north east.  

The air is rain-washed, clear and cool.

Far to the south west, in the Sauerland or perhaps distant Rhineland,

I see the lightning flashes of the next storm.

My dog loves the water, the mud, the clear air.

I cycle five miles, as he runs fifteen.

It is a tired, muddy and happy dog who finds his bed.


I hold the thought tightly.

I look in on the twins,

Who, as is often the case, have both fallen asleep in the same bed.

My daughter sleeps, with her face in the book she was reading aloud to her brother.

Harry Potter.

I turn off the bedside light and stand before our bedroom door.

Inside the storm is raging,

I can hear my wife’s sobbing, weeping for her dead son.

I take a deep breath and step back into the tempest.

For in “Hurricane Loss” the distance between the eye

And the eye wall,

Is a memory!

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