Covered With Quills

Satish Verma

This paper lantern in lake 
was in love with you. 
The water oscillating, 
not the taper. 

The panelled remains of― 
walls still hold, 
your signs. You would not 
come back? 

Apparitions gather― 
to bid goodbye to the moon. 
A flame of the forest 
was due any moment.

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Turning To Dark

Satish Verma

I believe in you, O tidal 
mouth, where the salt 
meets the stream. 

I never had any God 
to put the fish in desert to swim, 
and someone can write a poem. 

I am not different 
beyond the unwritten 
miracles. I cannot undo a cliché. 

It is still my dharma ― 
to listen to unheard cosmic 
chants of blue birds. 

And I reached the emptiness 
of a vessel, which had 
spilled over the milk of seeds.

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I know I am going to fuck this up.

It’s only a matter of time.

And I wish you would let me

hurt you now to save you from the pain later.


I don’t want to put a time limit on us

but I know the longer it goes

the hurt will get worse.

And I hate to see you cry.


I’m too selfish to leave

because that’s the last thing I want to do

but the rational part of me

knows it’s what I should do.


I would much rather be broken again

than break you.

Even though I’ve just started to put the pieces back together.

I’ll let you scatter them again

Just to save yourself from another heartbreak.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 7/30/17

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Band Competitions


I always fall in love at band competitions.

Maybe it’s the fall weather,

or being surrounded by like-minded people

or maybe it’s just the magic of marching band.


Maybe it’s the adrenaline rushing through your veins

just before you walk out onto the field.

Maybe it’s knowing that you’ve spent hundreds of minutes

for the fifteen-minute performance of your life.


Marching band is practicing for hours on end

through blood, sweat, and tears.

It’s hearing that one section of music

that makes you picture you’re in a stadium.


Maybe it’s seeing all the time and energy

come together and finally be worth it.

Maybe it’s realizing that you’re part of something bigger

and that by playing music you can change the world

one note at a time.


Something about being at band competitions

makes me fall in love

but I think I am more in love with the music

than with the people.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 7/30/17

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This ink is my blood

and I am still bleeding onto this page.

The blood flows more

when you love me the way you do.


I keep writing you poems

it seems like I’ve been bleeding more lately.

I can’t help myself

when there’s so much of me to put on a page.


I let you flood my thoughts

and the blood goes from a trickle

to a stream.


Words gush onto the page

at just the thought of your name

and I finally realize

that without you the ink would dry up.


I hadn’t felt anything in so long.

Thank you for making me bleed.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 7/22/17

Bad for me


I knew the minute I kissed you

that you were going to be bad for me.

You’re my addiction

and I just can’t get enough of you.


I won’t make it to Heaven

but I don’t need to

because with your lips on mine

I’m already there.


When you touch me like that

I understand why lust is a sin.

When you touch me like that

I’m in a world of bliss.


There’s no stopping this addiction

your lips on mine,

your hands in my hair

I will always crave more.


Kiss me like you need me to breathe.

Touch me in ways I have only dreamt of.

Love me like it’s the last thing you’ll do.

Give me a release.


I knew you were going to be bad for me

but it feels




Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 7/22/17

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I am trying


I am trying to tell you what I feel

but the thread of my thoughts

is being pushed through the eye of a needle

and some of the strands don’t fit through the hole.


I am trying to tell you what I feel

but some things get lost in translation

from my brain to the page.


I am trying to tell you what I feel

by only saying things that sound beautiful

but sometimes the truth is ugly.


I am trying not to hurt you

but I know what I am capable of

and I have seen how easily people break.


I am trying not to fuck this up

but I know how quickly tides can change

and I know how simple it would be to shatter you.


I could so easily break your heart

I've got it in the palm of my hand

and all it would take is one squeeze.


But I'll treat it like an egg

and do everything in my power to protect it

because that's the heart that loves me


I am trying to love you

but the only way I know how to love

will break you beyond repair.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 7/21/17

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You say that you’re scared of the unknown

Nobody can say what the future will hold

It’s terrifying going in blind

But I want you to know that you’re not alone.


I’ll be by your side

For as long as you’ll let me

And I’ll help clear the path

That you’re going to follow.


I’ll hold your hand

As we explore together

And when you’re ready

I’ll let someone else take the lead.


Nobody knows what will happen

Or who we will become

But I wouldn’t want to go through

The unknown with anyone else.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 7/21/17

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Band Lyrics


Verse 1:

Always on the outside, looking in.

I never knew love found me here.

Until you take me on,

Babe, I cannot do it without you.

For, you are my heaven.

Eternally your’s to keep,

You have my spirit.

Lead and guide me.



I am just an outsider looking in.

Do not judge me if you do not know me.

I have had my shares of issues and trauma.

Don’t break my trust

Once it is earned.

I can see no one but you.

Only you will do.

It’s you I see in my dreams

And in my future.

‘Cause I know, we’re better together.

‘Cause we’re better than ever.


Verse 2:

Since you were away,

Everything has changed.

Only the distance between you and I has increased.

Yet, it’s never enough.

I keep on wanting and needing you in my life.

But, now, it’s time to say our goodbyes.

For, this relationship of ours could have been something more

If only you’d given us a chance.

If only you’d make the first move.

If only you’d let me in.

If only you’d told me how you really felt for me.

You know me well

But, what is it that you feel?



If I already knew that 

You were mine to keep,

I wouldn’t have wasted time.

Now, it’s time for me to put myself into your hands.

Don’t let me go.

For, the grass is not greener on the other side.

I’ve been there without you

But without you, is something I cannot be or do.

‘Cause I know, we’re better together.

‘Cause we’re better than ever.

Always on the outside, looking in.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

New song 2018.