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My brother died,

And in his place;

I was born,

But I was repelled.

My mother threw me from the table,

Abused me, both mind and body.

My father never present,

And if so, he ignored me.

They left each other fast,

'Cause mother was a lesbian.

But my father needed a woman,

For his children and as a housewife.

The second was quite alright,

Even if she made me eat axis.

Only my sister I couldn't see,

That became off limits.

After years they had their divorce,

And then came the third, the most terrible.

My wicked stepmother,

The greatest dictator.

She tried to strangle my brother,

Then father did interfere.

She put me in the sanitarium,

With false motives, my fear.

Firstly in a crisis-centra,

'Cause I ran away from home.

Then in the sanitarium,

Where I for six months did roam.

In the sanitarium,

Provided with medication.

By which I lost my memory,

Crawling in the emptiness of chaos...

Regularly I suffered blackouts,

By which I saw nothing.

Not knowing what I did,

Much like sleep-walking;

And strange vistas occurred.

I wasn't suffering delirium,

Is what the doctors told.

So all this time,

I was in the asylum for no reason.

Then I had to go to boarding-school,

Where I developed something bad: anger.

I wanted to kill another, a female;

And Nyarlathotep, I am sorry;

Maybe I didn't wanted to commit this act,

But I had to from Satan...

What happened was unforeseen,

'Cause my room was now aflame.

The building completely in axis,

The police came to arrest me.

A year and a half in prison,

Locked away in a cell, in Hell.

A year and a half terror,

The bondage of society.

When I got out, there was another project,

Named room-training.

I had to work in a factory,

But that didn't end well...

I started to mutilate myself,

Which I learned in the sanitarium.

They send me to the hospital,

To the psychiatric division.

Then again to the crisis-centra,

Which I didn't liked at all.

As if I had to start over,

I couldn't take it anymore.

Through the open door I escaped,

And from my last money;

I buyed a train-ticket,

Which brought me to Ramses.

I believe! I Believe! Lord, help my unbelief

I believe, I believe, my constant motif

I believe but don't grow

And my faith doesn't show

Because I can't be bothered to “do”

I know faith is given, not earned

Yet here I sit unconcerned 

I'm given to resting 

When I should be testing

To see that my faith is real

“You shall know them by their fruits”

But seeds planted on stones don't have roots

My apathy grows

So nobody knows

That I don't follow what I believe

The path down below is a slope

So gradual and smooth that you hope

It stays just the same

Like a current so tame

But leads to a waterfall

I'm not living, or learning

I'm sitting and burning

Lord I want to live

But not if I give

My time or my life

My comfort for strife

Is there an easier way?

You said believe and I shall be clean

Believe, and come home again

But how can I start

If only my heart

Wasn't an armchair theologian

Hope is a candle in a sea of darkness, eagerly awaiting the sun. 

Trust is a drop of the purest water, in an ocean full of desert sand.

Loyalty is the assurance of your own two feet, that you will stand.

Love is a bubbling geyser; filling, and rushing to overflowing. 

Empathy is a mother's love, from someone that you don't know.

Peace is an ocean of glass-like water, that ripples of war cannot move.

Honesty is a pure wine, with no dregs to ruin the taste.

Every single note was a song in itself

And every little breath was a melody

And I, a painful ripping squeal

That bellowed from inside of me

Her crimson lips had softly smiled

As she sang angelically 

But no more than a dissonant chord

Was the best that I could be

Oh, angel of the nightly song!

How wrapped in you I have become!

How can I go, and sing alone

Shouting like a falling drum

I can't forget your heavenly voice

That pierced the ever-present noise

Through sky and the pervasive smog

To me, whom naught but death employs. 

I can't tell where I'm going

Don't know where I've been

But I feel I'm moving quickly

And I guess that's all there is

I've gone round in my head

Side to side within

Reason had too much sense

Foolishness left me behind

Walking to a dirt-road crossroad

Guess I'll say hello

Whiskey from the heavens

Daniels in my veins

Traveling to hell on that southern gothic train

Baptized my humanity in the river

Left my soul with the morning star

Guess I've lost it all

They say that those with nothing left

Have nothing left to lose

Well hell, I'm far past that

With no future, and no past

Don't mess with me, son

Or my face will be your last

Whiskey's long gone now

But the moon's still shining bright

And there's heaven to gain

But hell to pay

The brass is still warm

But I'm cold as the grave

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will it be with something I’ve known

like it was sitting

on that shelf

for years

pretending to not have a blade

before it came down upon me

you sat next to me

for so long

and then I was

holding you

sometimes I think

it could be lies because

I have

never liked the truth

and being deceived into

my own ending would

just be too fitting

or maybe

it will be your eyes

because if you stare at something

too long

you’re bound to turn to stone

you probably think

I stare too long

I think I need a lifetime

if I keep thinking about

how I will end

maybe the universe will not

take the trouble to

do it

MY PARTNER

He is my king

He loves with pride

My second wing

I dare not hide

We are not the same

We grew up far

Unwilling fate has came

And I found my star

Upon first glance

We were destined to be

We took our chance

In a path I couldn’t see

From city to city

They saw our love 

So bright and pretty

Like from up above

This man you know

He is my rock

I see him, I glow

Destined for wedlock 

Us against the world

We were once brave

Our struggles twirled 

One could not save

I try and try

To be a good friend 

We start over from hi

But our love couldn’t end

Ladrecus Shepard

The name engraved 

Our times unmeasured

Let us be saved

I ask you please let us be

Give our hearts a break

Why can’t we see 

We don’t need to ache

And if you wonder

He is my only friend

My true partner

Until the very end.

In the morning, all arise
Early, we open our eyes.
The night, all it is gone
And easterners have won
Thy rising; the morning sun.
We've only just begun,
Singing unto the sky,
Seizing all that is nigh,
While oh slowly we tread
Much more of life ahead;
Thy hours, to be seen
Thy fertile fullness, serene,
Mornings for thee
All await, already.