Sleepless Nights

Self Loathing


Oh how many sleepless nights

Laying there helpless without the lights

Staring above to a realm unknown

My body sinking, heavy as a stone


My sight is blurred with greys and whites

Laying there helpless without the lights

My blanket consumes my every limb

Holding them snug, close,

My vision still dim


Focusing on everything, takes all my might

Laying there helpless without the lights

Thoughts and dreams cross my mind

Anything my daring darkness can find.

I dream about being awake.

I’ve been awake for what seems like a day past forever.
Watching my thoughts, spiraling in and out of control.
Deprived. Depressed. Depleted. Distressed. Dazed.
And very confused.
I sit and wonder for hours about wonders.
The line between real and not is slim.
I dream about being awake.
All the while, the clock sneaks by,
As if it is skipping hours when I’m not looking.
My body is exhausted I think,
But my mind is great at deception.
Slumber seems so far out of reach.

Midnight Showdown


The alarm clock blinds me with its loud stare
The hum of its amp powers
Yearning for me to sleep
The minutes tick, chased by the seconds
Only for those two to catch up to the hours
Days, months… all of time I spent with you
When could I have been free?
Why did you keep me
When you never wanted me

So I stare at the loud glare
Of the clock, having 3 am burnt
Into my eye balls
Smoking my brain walls
With all the wasted time of young love

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