i am me

"I am"

They say that i wasnt the man they wanted me to be. The man that only sleeps from bed to bed and lives only for himself was the man they thougth they saw in me. Is it because people from my own family dropped me just like an lost call that cant be answered or was it because of the way i seen things n thought about some things.Am i an problem? Am i an solution? What was i the son of a man they said that didnt wont me anymore or the son of a man that still runs through the stream of his veins? My words that i speak is like winter they are so cold and so bold you thought my life was liven and driven by quotes. I am somebody that has a purpose that can be only me and only me i lived my life about how people treated me but now i see that if you was proud of me you couldve said it but you didnt. Am i suppose to live for what cause am i alive for what reason i think but no answer because i see that people hate when i think formyself but maybe i spared an reason that maybe a life can be saved each day maybe a dream can be counted real just maybe. I AM THAT BOY THAT SEEN THINGS FORMYSELF, I AM THAT BOY WHO FEELINGS DIED WITH WIND AND SHOWER. I AM THAT BOY WHO BECAME AN MAN AND THOUGHT FOR MYSELF AT THE AGE OF 14, I AM THAT BOY THAT SMILE LIKE THE SUN, CRY LIKE THE RAIN,  RUN LIKE AN ANIMAL OR BEAST AFTER ITS PREY, I AM SOMEBODY THAT SHARES AN COME GROUND WITH THINKERS,WRITERS, SINGERS, RAPPERS. I HOPE YOU PROUD OF ME CAUSE I AM SOMEBODY

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2010-2012 Poems

No matter how it's dark and cold,
No matter how it rains inside,
It's your right to cry, your right to scream...
Your right to lose your way, to stand up, to dream.
You owe it to yourself to be alright,
Focus on the bit of spark, see through your light.
Lightning may strike, but persist-
Follow the sun and tell yourself:
"I am all I need to be."

Author's Notes/Comments: 

-(c)jerlin 29Sep11- written and posted in my FB thru mobile phone on my way to Songkhla for my angels in Penang.

I used to hide.

I used to hide, who I am, deep inside myself,
my soul was buried under neith the clutter.
The clutter called clothes, that I wore.
I used to try and be who others saw me to be.

I used to hide my feelings, deep inside my chest.
My heart was locked from the inside, and I threw the key far away.
The key, that I spent hours looking for, but couldnt find.
I used to try and be strong, cause somebody needed me to be.

I used to hide my emotions, inside my eyes.
My eyes would blink away the tears.
The tears that I wiped furiously, from my face.
I used to try and be brave, so others wouldnt know.

I used to hide my words, inside my mouth.
My mouth was glued shut.
Shut so that my words would get swallowed.
I used to try and be silent, so I wouldnt say something wrong.

I used to hide my scars, inside my sleeves.
The scars, that bled, threw thousands of band aids.
Band aids that needed to be replaced with stichs.
I used to try and be ignorant, cause I didnt want anyones help.

I used to hide my thoughts, inside my mind.
My mind was closed, to those I didnt know.
I didnt know if they would understand.
I used to try and be quiet, cause I didnt want to be judged.

But now Im tired, of hideing, and now im,

throwing out the clutter, and letting myself be free.
Paying a locksmith, to open up my heart again,& making a extra key.
letting myself cry, when its the right time
scraping the glue off, so I can talk
getting help from others, and getting stiched up
opening my mind up, and letting others judge.

Cause I am, who I am, and nobody can change me,
or make me be anything else, but me.

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I have been forced

Into slavery of the mind

Ex lovers sold

The person I was

To the woman I became

Neither of whom

Have a proper name

Now the old one

Wants to be free

Yet it will never work

For she isn’t me

She never really was

Answering to my name

She just stood in place

While I ran in fear

But no more

For I am me



Written on

April 27, 2009 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This one was writen by me. About who I was and what I became.

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