hurt shame

Lost Soul


So many lost souls
I can now see it's not just me
Some of us are still fighting to be found
Some of us will never be found
Lost in a world of waste
How long am I willing to wait
How much more can I truely take
How many more times will I get back up when I think I've finally given up
Is this just the beginning or is it surely the end
Is my soul really lost or was it never there at all
Am I ment to feel so broken and abused
I'm filled with sarrow and full of pain
I can't be happy because then I feel shame
Guilt eats me up and spits me back out
I'm always filled with doubt
I rather be hated then to be loved
So many things wrong with me I can't dig myself out
I keep crying out but i guess nothing really comes out
I get left with no answers
I can't seem to figure shit out
Someone please help me out.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is my first ever poem i've done....


Their stares,
The hate in them,
The envy in them,
Directed at me.

I used to cry,
I used to hide,
From those stares.
They scared me.

As I grew older,
Their stares,
Turned to disgust,
Turned to disgrace,
Still directed at me.

I ignored them,
I focused on other things.
The stares still hurt,
But the pain had numbed.

I’m in High School now,
Their stares lessened,
Turning to sadness,
Turning to pity.
It made my heart bleed,
With shame.

Every day,
I bled more and more.
Now I’m sick of bleeding,
This could be my last.

Still I go on,
Still my heart aches,
And their stares are still there,
Just a little less.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written when bored in math class.

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