Untitled. . .

Jake: Hey, where r u?
Olivea: In my mind, thinking about you. I miss you.
Jake: I miss u 2. But its only ben 3 hrs.
Olivea: I must admit, my feelings for you have bloomed like flowers.
Jake: Wat r u sayin?
Olivea: Nevermind. This obviously is not the time.
Jake: Oh. R ur rents home?
Olivea: Im afraid Im here alone.
Jake: Gr8 so i cn cum ovr?
Olivea: You havent been over since October!
Jake: Yea i need u 2 hlp me with sumthin.
Olivea: What do you need? What time are you coming.
Jake: 1st i need a yes.
Olivea: Okay, what is it? I'll try my best!
Jake: I rlly need 2 hav sex.
Olivea: But we're not together yet.
Jake: but i luv u
Olivea: As much as I wish that were true, I must admit a crime is due.
Jake: im not lieing i <3 u.
Olivea: My <3 once was for you, but now I see this day I rue.
Jake: ur acting rlly lame
Olivea: Ill give you my heart so you can feel its pain!
Jake:Lol i dnt want it. keep it.
Olivea: So much for love, it must be funny.
Jake: lol shut up. i didnt luv u. oviously.

Sharmaine Marie
NOV 7 2012 9:16 PM

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I cant remember where I got the idea from, but I remember just sitting there and jumping into writing it. The names mean something, which will be explained in part 2. The way the writing is means something also. It isnt as deep as it could be, but i got the general message. I try to make these a little interactive, so what do you think the names mean? What do you think the text and grammar mean? Or any other thoughts. Please comment!!!!!

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Joarge89's picture

Three things:   First, Jake

Three things:


First, Jake is obviously the one who is not "in love" with Olivea.  Text messages that take time and effort, to me, show how much you really care about a person.  If you abbreviate (what I call "text talk"), as in "u" for "you", the number "2" to represent "to" or "too" - it's just lazy and doesn't seem to show much interest.  Olivea's texts, however, are well-thought out, grammatically correct, and much more deep.


Second, the names are great choices.  Jake is a very commonplace, everyday name... nothing unique, nothing desired.  Olivea (I've never seen it spelled like that either) is a very unique girl, one that is capable of loving, unlike her commonplace counterpart "Jake".  The olive tree is also a reference to Shakespeare, I believe, which has stemmed to be the meaning of "fruitfulness" and "bountiful" and "beautiful."  Not sure if this is accurate, but that's my impression on the name choices.


Thirdly, this is really great.  A very unique piece that I responded to very positively.  Enjoyed the read... Thanks for sharing!

"A poem is never finished, only abandoned" - Paul Valery

Contrasola's picture

Thank you! I dont get many

Thank you! I dont get many responses to my poems. I wrote this so long ago. And I never made a part two. I cant even remember what is was going to be. There was something with the names. . .I hate that I cant remember. But yes you were right about the grammar. And the unique part of the names. I didnt think of the Shakespeare reference though. Thank you for ypur feedback!! Welcome to leave more!

Can never think of what to say. Contradiction Incarnate. 

A lonely contradiction. Contrasola

Joarge89's picture

I wish people would take time

I wish people would take time to read mine, but I write in very long, extended metaphors that have a lot of meaning to me.  But not to many others... So I feel your pain on little comments. :P


Just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed your piece, and to offer some insight into your work... Because that's what poetry is for.


Happy writing!

"A poem is never finished, only abandoned" - Paul Valery

Contrasola's picture

Ill take a look. I love

Ill take a look. I love metaphors.

Can never think of what to say. Contradiction Incarnate. 

A lonely contradiction. Contrasola