YAKOV SMIRNOFF LOOKING S.O.B.

Folder: 
MARCO! POLO!

 In Lithuania, they

make their own

version of honey mead

which is actually a liquor.

 

One famous brand within the country

is Zalgiris Mead.

It weighs in at 150 proof.

 

It seemed like

my kind of souvenir 

to bring home from the trip.

It would sit well

between bottles of absinthe.

 

It cost the equal

of $40 American in a grocery store.

The cashier smiled slyly.

 

Everything was going smoothly

until arriving at the airport

to fly on to Amsterdam.

 

Zalgiris is packaged

in a distinct cylinder tube

easily recognized

by the X-ray machine.

 

“Uh, Oh” says the security guard.

I find my luggage being opened

and the bottle of Zalgiris

being confiscated.

 

“You can’t fly with that.

It’s 150 proof”

 

My argument is fruitless

and he confiscates my bottle

and throws it 

in a small metal trash can.

 

It’s a sad plane ride

and when I get to Amsterdam

the Dutch people never heard

of the 150 proof rule.

 

It made me suspicious and bitter

and ultimately helpless.

But that Yakov Smirnoff looking

son of a bitch

stole my booze.

 

 

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allets's picture

This Made Me Laugh

You pay the duty and take it with you. Yep. That was larceny! I drank some 151 barcardi once - probably no comparison. :D