#life

STILL THE RICHEST MAN IN TOWN

I had this dream while growing up…that I’d be a millionaire

l’d live in a beautiful house, drive a fancy car…there’d be money everywhere.

 

I’d float through a life of happiness…I’d seldom wear a frown.

I’d have no reason to be sad because…I’d be the richest man in town.

 

It’s funny how life sometimes has other plans…how different dreams unfold

when on a teacher’s salary, now with a family…I put my initial dream on hold.

 

There were mouths to feed and bills to pay…facts I couldn’t deny

Now I dreamed of health and happiness with enough money to get by.

 

Yes, growing up I had this dream…as many young people do

but I never dreamed I could be happy if a different dream came true. 

 

My dream house isn’t as big nor my dream car quite as fancy…

but I found I do not care

I have a beautiful wife, a wonderful family…I have joy and love everywhere.

 

I’d like to tell you the exact moment when it happened…but I don’t think I can…

when the young boy’s dreams from long ago gave way to the new dreams of the man.

 

But this new dream I am living…I’ll be the first one to concede

has allowed me to float through a happy life…with everything  I need.

 

Which is why, after all these years…I seldom wear a frown…

because somehow, even though a different dream came true…

I’m still the richest man in town.



CAUGHT OUT IN THE RAIN

We have a decision to make every time we’re caught out in the rain.

Do we concentrate on what we have to lose…or what we have to gain?

 

Are we sad that we’re getting wet and does that sadness cause us pain

or is there joy to be discovered…in every drop of rain?

 

We cannot choose when the rain will fall

sometimes we’ll win

sometimes we’ll lose

but how we react to the raindrops in our life…

that is something we can choose.



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The Seed

Folder: 
2020

The Seed

04/23/2020

 

Dwelling in the past I see,

All doors are locked into the future,

North,

South,

East,

West.

 

I open each and I see,

A dead end to no man land.

 

Banging on each door in frustration,

Slamming each in disappointment.

 

I look up to see,

Another door to meet.

 

I jump, I cannot,

I climb wall and slip.

 

I step on the knobs only to fall,

But I look up and see a plaque.

 

The plaque reads,

“Only the brave, the smart, the bold shall open.”

But I try and I get no luck.

 

I tie my belt to reach,

Only to fall behind me.

 

I throw my shoe in hopes to break,

But all it does it bounces off and hits the light.

 

I reread the plaque, but it reads another note,

“Knock knock and you shall seek,

Only the those who can will”.

 

Puzzle I feel,

Questionable, I think.

But at the end, I think on who am I.

 

I throw my shoe knocking each time,

But the door does not open,

As the door starts to spin.

 

I question if the door is spinning,

Or if I am spinning.

Walls start to spin,

All doors start to spin,

Entire room starts to spin.

 

I stop,

I pause,

I hold arms against the walls,

I take a deep breath,

I start to think.

 

I start questioning the plaque to read,

I study,

I observe,

I rethink,

I stop.

 

I read the plaques,

I notice a reflection,

I look at the wall to see,

A mirror appears,

I see my own reflection,

And I wonder…

 

Who am I?

Why am I here?

What do I want?

Where shall I lead?

What will I find?

 

I think all questions to seek,

But what do I seek?

Knowledge?

Understanding?

Puzzles?

 

I see blank,

I see space,

I see emptiness,

I see nothing.

 

So, I seek again the same questions:

Who am I?

Why am I here?

What do I want?

Where shall I lead?

What will I find?

 

I start getting frustrated with the questions,

Anger,

Upset,

Distance.

 

I start punching,

Knuckles start to bleed,

Scrapes start to appear,

More anger starts,

Frustration,

Chaos,

Anger,

Craziness,

Walls start to spin.

 

Faster,

Faster,

Faster…

 

I fall to the floor,

I cry,

I lay,

I curl.

 

Anger,

Depression,

Sadness,

Craziness,

Frustration.

 

Walls stop spinning.

I look at my knuckles,

All beaten up,

Bleeding,

Shirt all bloody,

Pants all scraped up.

 

I look at my reflection in the mirror,

Tears run down my face,

Eyes bloodshot from water,

Great sorrow,

Anger.

 

Angry that I cannot,

Angry that I do not have answers,

Angry at all the questions,

Angry at myself,

Angry on who I have become,

Angry on why.

 

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

 

Why is this?

What is this?

Who is this?

Where is this?

When is this?

How is this?

 

I try to answer each,

All I come back with is,

“Now”

 

Not yesterday,

Not the past,

Not today,

But Now.

Not even tomorrow.

 

Past leads to failure,

Yesterday leads to depression,

Future leads to desperation,

Tomorrow leads to weakness.

 

Today leads to uneven,

Now leads to the question.

 

But what is the Question?

What is the “right” Question.

 

Is it the wrong question?

Is it the right question?

Will the question be the question?

Or will the question be the answer?

Perhaps the answer IS the question.

 

But will the question ever be asked the question,

So, if the question is the question,

Will the answer be the answer?

 

I press my hands together,

Place one on the floor,

I start to get up,

Fisting to the ground.

 

I push up!

I sit up!

I stand up!

 

I clean my hands,

I clean my face,

I clean my pants.

 

I got this!

But who got me?

My family?

My friends?

My buddies?

My coworkers?

 

No! They do not!

I got myself!

 

I am strong!

I am wealth!

I am heart!

I am Me!

 

I raise my arm to the sky…

I repeat the above…

 

I am strong!

I am wealth!

I am heart!

I am Me!

 

Nothing again…

 

I start begging,

I am strong!

I am wealth!

I am heart!

I am Me!

 

Still nothing…

 

Again,

I am strong!

I am wealth!

I am heart!

I am Me!

 

As I scream louder!

 

Nothing again…

 

I then see something shining behind the mirror,

I see a heart,

I see not gold,

I see not silver,

I see not ruby,

I see…

I see it pumping!

 

I feel myself, and I feel nothing,

No pulse,

No beat,

No rate.

 

Just emptiness.

 

I hold the heart,

I feel air,

I feel soft,

I feel a pump.

 

I place it near my chest and again I say,

 

I am strong!

I am wealth!

I am heart!

I am Me!

 

And still nothing…

 

Then decided to go a different twist and say,

 

I am strong!

I am smart!

I am heart!

I am Me!

 

Tingling the door shakes and again I say,

 

I am strong!

I am smart!

I am heart!

I am Me!

 

Walls start to shake and I go louder,

 

I AM STRONG!

I AM SMART!

I AM HEART!

I AM ME!

 

I repeat after repeat until I see a hole.

Walls start to shake,

Doors start to wall,

Mirror falls and breaks,

 

I step back and in fear,

In fear of seven years,

Seven years of bad luck!

 

I fall onto my knees in failure,

I tear,

A tear falls and a sprout burst,

 

Sprout starts to grow,

Taller,

Thicker,

Stronger,

Expanding,

Greener.

 

Sprout becomes,

Bush becomes,

Small tree becomes,

Large tree becomes.

 

Expands,

Breaks,

Destroys,

Demolishes.

 

Doors break apart.

North gone,

South gone,

East gone,

West gone.

 

But only one door remains!

 

Door on to starts to break apart,

Steps appear,

Roots burst out,

Pushing me above!

 

Pushing the door to the sky,

Breaking the door in the path!

Repeating myself,

I can do this!

I can try!

I know!

I am!

 

Pushes stronger to seek,

To seek the now,

Not the past,

Not the yesterday,

Not the future,

But yes, to now!

 

Forcing myself out the room to seek a new adventure!

Sun shining in my eyes!

Fresh air!

Birds chirping!

But still in disappointment.

 

Plant starts to shrink!

Sending me back into the room.

Wanting to deny who I am.

Not wanting on who to become.

 

Walls start to go up,

Mirror starts to break even more,

Darkness becomes.

 

Denial on who I am,

Not worth accepting,

In fear of hope!

 

Fear of loss,

Fear of denial,

Fear of rejection,

Fear of falling apart,

Fear of losing everything on what I gained.

 

Accepting who I am,

It is not easy,

But I must!

I must accept for who I am.

I must accept who to be.

I must accept Me.

 

I am a son,

I am a brother,

I am a cousin/nephew,

I am a friend,

I am a coworker,

I am for who I am,

I am me.

 

I am not a star,

I am not an athlete,

I am not perfect,

I am not excellent,

I am not great!

 

We have flaws,

We fail,

We are not perfect,

We make mistakes,

 

We are we,

We are who we want to be,

We are who we shall be,

We are who we will be,

We are who we were.

 

We are people,

Citizens,

Family,

Humans.

 

We are loved,

We are cherished,

We are acknowledged,

We are the world!

 

I stand,

I raise my fist,

I repeat again…

 

I am strong!

I am smart!

I am heart!

I am Me!

 

And even louder!

 

I am strong!

I am smart!

I am heart!

I am Me!

With great joy I say once more…

 

I am strong!

I am smart!

I am heart!

I am Me!

 

I raise my fist into the air,

Tree starts to grow,

Roots start to fix,

Roots repair,

Tree flourishes,

Breaks the room apart!

 

Standing tall with an almighty again,

 

I am strong!

I am smart!

I am heart!

I am Me!

 

Tree starts to blossom,

Tree becomes a forest.

Tree becomes the World!

 

The tree is me!

I was never the human,

I was never in the room.

I was always the seed.

 

The seed to success,

The seed to life,

The seed to immortality,

The seed to happiness,

The seed to the end of the end.

 

The seed that will unite us,

The seed that will bring love,

The seed that will heal us.

The seed to Alpha and perhaps the Omega.

 

The seed to the end of time!

 

I am who I am,

I am what I am,

I am where I am,

I am when I am,

I am why I am,

I am how I am.

 

I am me,

I am full of energy,

I am grateful to life,

I am my team,

I am my family,

I am my liberty,

I am my own self.

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Patience, Strength, Vanquish

Folder: 
2020

It is not a day goes by we seek to the stars,

During these dark days,

And we ask ourselves…

 

Is this the end?

Is this what we failed for?

Is this death?

Is this where life leads us?

 

Will we prevail?

Will we conquer?

Will we rise for a new beginning?

 

We see determination,

We have a purpose,

We shall have assurance,

We Hope!

 

We hope for a new beginning,

We hope for a new start,

We hope to conquer,

We hope all will be fine!

 

But will it cease?

Will we suffer again?

Will this ever end?

 

Only time will test us,

Only time will tell us,

Only time shall we win.

 

Our Friends,

Our Families,

Our Coworkers,

Our Neighbors,

Ourselves.

 

We suffer,

We hope,

We survive,

We win!

 

We shall win this battle!

We shall conquer!

We shall rule!

 

Mother Nature will flourish through our breath,

Parties will regain once again,

Music will be played on the streets,

Sports will smear mud on our knees,

Campgrounds will be cooking,

Arts will bring life,

Honking will blast in our ears,

Economies will soar,

Countries will unite,

Humans will be a whole again!

 

Shall this virus die as time passes?

Although it will be a never-ending battle,

But at the end, we hope for the best of everyone that it shall not return for a long time!

 

We will Win!

We will Conquer!

We will Unite!

We will Hope!

We will Endure!

 

We will remember those that past!

We will remember those that won!

We will remember those that helped!

We will remember First Responders!

We will remember Doctors!

We will remember Nurses!

We will remember Essential Employees!

We will remember Families!

We will remember Friends!

We will remember Everyone!

We will remember Unity!

We will remember Heroes!

 

We are all United for a better tomorrow!

 

We Will Win!

 

04/10/2020

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

In rememberence, those who are fighting the front lines, patients, loved ones, etc during these dark days.

A LITTLE WORM

We are born…we live…we die…that’s the way it’s supposed to be

We are all bound by the circle of life…and our own mortality.

 

I noticed her as I walked outside…she was hanging from a tree

A little worm…her color green…and she seemed to smile at me.

 

I was confused at first by her greeting…but I returned her smile

then I sat down next to her…and we visited for a while.

 

“Hey there little worm.” I asked. “What brings you here hanging by that thread?”

The little worm smiled as she swayed to and fro, “It was the wind,.” she said.

 

“And I am not a worm I am a caterpillar.” she corrected me with a sigh…

“One day I shall be a moth or, perhaps, a butterfly.”

 

“One day I will be even more beautiful.”

Here she looked up at the sky.

“One day I will have wings…one day…I will fly.”

 

And nether of us could have predicted that would be her final word

because when she finished speaking…she was eaten by a bird.

 

And I felt betrayed by time, deceived…as this caterpillar was cheated…

as her circle of her life was all too soon completed.

 

And once again…a lesson taught…much to my chagrin…

how in some way every life is at the mercy of the wind.

 

How we never know what fate…what destiny lies ahead…

How all our lives, when we stop to think about it, are hanging by a thread.

 

How life will one day end…we don’t know when…or why

How we never know how far we’ll go…or if ever we will fly….

 

But if there is one lesson from this caterpillar I find endlessly redeeming….

It would be wherever we are in the circle of life…

to never stop our dreaming.



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GOOD MORNING TO THE MOON

Knowing life is temporary and will be over much too soon

Every day I take a walk and say good morning to the moon.

 

I say good morning to the clouds reflected in her light

I say good morning to the stars and all the animals that populate the night.

 

I love to walk among the shadows with the sounds around me blending

I love to begin my day the moment the night is ending.

 

And because every moment is precious and I don’t want to miss a one

In the evening I will look out and say good night to the sun.

 

Good night to the clouds that darken as she slips into the bay

Good night to all the animals that populate the day.

 

And as the day heads off to sleep…as she turns of her last light

I always make one wish as I retire for the night.

 

Knowing life is temporary and will be over much too soon

 

I wish that on the morrow…I’ll wake up to greet the moon.


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BABY HANDS AND FEET

 

Whenever I see a baby passing by me on the street

I smile…

you see I’m captivated by their baby hands and baby feet.

 

It reminds me of the miracle of birth

and

how swiftly our time goes

when I see their little fingers…

and count their little toes.

 

I remember when my children and grandchildren were babies…

Was it really that long ago

when I held their baby hands in mine

and tickled their baby toes?

 

And again I think how time moves ever onward

does not stop

will not repeat

and how we must cherish every moment 

of baby hands and baby feet.

 

Knowing babies grow up…

that it’s all part of the plan

I look into the parents' eyes and whisper…

 

“Enjoy this while you can”.


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IT DOESN'T MATTER

They walk a different path each morning

as a new day’s begins to glow..

They fill a picnic basket and they drive

It doesn’t matter where they go.

 

They gather with their friends and family 

to spend a moment or two.

sometime they sit

sometimes they eat

It doesn’t matter what they do.

 

They love to play any kind of games

their children and grandchildren might choose

It doesn’t matter if they win

It doesn’t matter if they lose.

 

If you ask them why it doesn’t matter 

they have a simple reason why.

If you ask them why it doesn’t matter

they have but one reply…

 

You see…they know that life is short…and precious

and every moment they’re awake

it’s not the size of the memory that’s important

 

it’s how many they can make.


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ON THE BACK OF AN OLD CLOSET DOOR

With the family visiting again this holiday..as they have so many times before

It was once again time to revisit…the back of our old closet door.

 

On it Deborah and I have placed one of our most treasured sights 

A history of our family’s growth recorded in our children and grandchildren’s heights.

 

Heights have been inscribed on this door for over 35 years

It was time to update our two youngest grandchildren…

who have grown 6 inches it appears… 

 

This closet door reminds us…as we read heights written in black pen

How every child grows…it’s not a matter of will they..

it’s a matter of when

 

(I wonder if growing taller is as big an accomplishment 

as we all might be thinking

Because, although we’ve not recorded our heights…

I think Deborah and I are shrinking.)

 

Be that as it may I can’t open this door without smiling

sometimes a tear finds its way to my eye

as I realize when facing it…how quickly time goes by.

 

With the future always one step away…a future approaching so fast

opening this door is a wonderful way to pause and revisit our past.

 

To look back on our children and grandchildren…

Now that they’ve all grown taller than us…

back to a time not that long ago 

when they were all smaller than us.

 

Yes, we’ve been recording heights here for over 35 years 

and hope to record here for over 35 more…

But…if there ever comes a time we have to move away…

 

Moving with us…will be this old closet door.


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