dominance

My D/s Philosophy

Folder: 
DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO

 

I have often heard submissive women say: "I am a sub, but I don't submit to just anyone."

 

Well, let me let you in on a little secret... I will dominate pretty much anyone who allows me! (This doesn't mean just anyone can be my submissive, however)

 

I used to have the opinion that I could not label myself a "Dom" unless someone was actively submitting to me. I felt unless my dominance was consensually agreed upon by a submissive actively submitting to me, that my "domination" would be non-consensual. But I have had a change of heart. I have now decided that if there is no one actively submitting to me, I can still be "dominant" because I have chosen to subject that control over myself.

 

That is very consensual!

 

I control and do the things I want, therefore I am dominant! It is a sort of "dominant masturbation" if you insist on naming it.

 

So, yes...man, woman, trans; straight, gay, bi, pan-- it makes no difference: I will dominate you--if you allow me to.

 

Here is why it is so easy for me: In my vision and understanding of D/s, the Dom decides what happens after the sub sets forth the parameters. Since everyone has something to offer me, if I am the one making the decisions about what those somethings are, it may not please the submissive or be their cup of tea, but if it fits within the agreed upon parameters, I will gladly dominate you if you let me!

 

Now, that being said, I believe the act of submission is an amazing gift for any Daddy, Dom or Master to cherish.

 

Yeah, I said it. I value it as an amazing gift. Here I’ll say it again:

 

"submission is a gift"

 

If you, as the submissive, don’t see it that way, then fine; but if you expect me to devalue it by not considering it as such, it means you are topping from the bottom.

 

By the way, there is actually nothing wrong with "topping from the bottom." It is actually how Top/bottom encounters should work.

 

"Dominating while submitting" is a different story. Remember, I do not expect anyone (regardless of how submissive they are) to submit to me. It’s a gift. One must not expect gifts.

 

For those of you who think that me considering submission as a gift is placing the sub above the Dom, I didn't do that at all. "Dominance" is a gift too. Dom and sub are equals.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

circa 2012

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Fools Rush in

Folder: 
DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO


I ascertain that submissives are way more selective in exerting their submission than we Dominants are at giving our gift of domination.

 

My goal is to be at least as selective in exercising my dominance as submissives are in giving theirs.

 

It sounds strange, but a very recent realization I have discovered is that the less dominance you grant and the less submission you demand from a submissive, the more submission she wants to give you.

 

Do not demand submission, receive it!

 

Herein lies the problem. If this was the case, you could almost go around being passive to everyone and become the best damn Dom in the community! And many of the best Doms in the community are introverted. 

 

DaddyO the extrovert has a much more difficult time. The extrovert by nature puts everything he does under a self-inflicted microscope. So there obviously has to be a tipping point. And that's where the subtle nuances of aggressor vs. assertive; predator vs. friendly and inviting and cool confidence vs. asshole reside.

 

So like any other element of BDSM, work within the confines of what you are granted and don't demand anything more.

 

"Fools rush in..."

To a sub, a Dom who takes things slow and appears to give more thought and care to his actions will seem more attractive than a hasty Dom.

 

"...where angels fear to tread."

A submissive who asks for a lot of dominance from me from the get go is going to get my attention and seem more attractive than a submissive who takes things slow is.

 

Be direct and assertive in the dominance you are entrusted with but never expect to be given control over anything.

 

Act like it, however.

 

Dom: "Would you like to do this for me?"

 

Sub: "Yes Sir, I would."

 

Dom: "Okay someday maybe I will let you."

 

...is much more effective than...

 

Dom: "Do this for me, or else!"

(Well, except in erotic fantasy novels) 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2014 

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Reverse Psychology

Folder: 
The Lust

Break down my barriers and shelter me inside
Those warm troubles alibies that you think coincide
To the solution of a sex-driven vile pride
And behind the shadows of seduction you hide.

Well, oh two can play this game of seek
Don't be so shy, you're coming off as weak.
You started this all with those "please save me" eyes
Don't act like this was going to be a surprise.

I know what you are and how many women you've taken
And yet, here you are, like a baby, you're shakin'
And with that cool calmness, I know, boy you're fakin'

Because we both know that you've sadly mistaken

Me

For the victim
For I am the  alpha
And you are to kneel.

I take to thee what has been so terribly deserved
Now it's your turn to get unnerved
Because I know your games, and I will not be attached
I have come to tie you to the matress, unmatched
My dominance is to your submissive surprise
As I take the sweet something between your thighs

You beg for mercy as I move through your soul
And you beg and plead for me to say "I love you so"
But how could I ever love anyone such as you
After everything you've put them through?

Now it's time someone did it to you. 

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