Lupus

Shower Me In Tears

Folder: 
Pain/Ilness

I step into the warming water,
And let my sorrow flow.
No one hears the cries of me-
These tears, they'll never know.

They pool down there, at my feet,
And swirl on down the drain.
I only wish they washed away,
My sorrow and my pain.

Amidst the splashing shower sounds,
No one can hear me crying.
They don't know, that in this water,
Another part of me is dying.

A storm that rages in my soul,
Rattles my core like thunder.
Sometimes I wish the tub would fill,
And drag me right down under.

In there, there is no separation,
As one with water, my tears meld.
I must release this inner flooding,
Too long have they been held.

If only water could wash away,
The moisture of my fears.
Take away all my afflictions,
As it showers me in my tears.

But once again, its time to step out,
Wipe the water from skin and eyes.
Put on a smile, along with my clothes,
Because no one ever hears my cries.

Chronically Chronic

Folder: 
Pain/Ilness

 

Its a life of constant chronic tears,
brought on by the constant chronic fears-
that tomorrow could be even worse,
in this endless, vulgar, chronic curse...

That I chronically call my life...

 

Its a never-ending losing fight,
So easy to give up, as every night,
I lie under the sheets of my total pain,
praying the nightmare won't play, yet again...

But of course, it does...

 

For my nightmares aren't simply fiction,
its just the reality, of these afflictions,
that love to beat me, so far down,
love to see me prone to ground.

Begging on my aching knees...

 

I try in vain, to tell all the others,
such pain is real to this woman, daughter, and mother.
I'd stop it if I could, just for each of you,
and do the things, a woman needs to do.

But they don't ever even hear...

 

So I'm chronically all alone,
In my chronic state of a combat zone.
Chronically crying out at disease,
That no one chronically can even see.

So they all look away...

 

Rather than have to face my distress,
Its easier to make it seem such less.
But in effect, they hurt me more,
emotional pain now piled on my floor.

Next to the physical pile of painful me...

 

Oh, to make the world understand,
even just my own, little part of this land-
That what I have is chronically true-
Such torture would I never wish to you.

That I chronically call my life...

 

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