hopeless depression

Everything is alright

Can't breathe
The words won't come
As if frozen in time

And burried so deep

 

Another moment
Barely hanging on
To what Iv'e become
To who Iv'e become

 

Fill me with lonelyness
Can't ask for anything more
Bring me to space
To float away

 

Num as from the cold
As from the tears
And the feeling is gone
Till it will come again

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem is about the way I feel in this present moment, enjoy

View poetgirl123's Full Portfolio

Where Im At...

Endless Decision... Broke Comfort...
Blind Destiny... Keep Away Sadness...
Engulfing Memory No Escape
Sweet Reality... Falling Dreamer
I Am Personified Emptiness...
I Surrender Meaningless Hope...

View m0sd3f's Full Portfolio

Giving Up

Folder: 
2004

Why won’t it stop?

Why won’t the pain go away?

Why does it hurt?

Why does it stay?

 

I can’t take it anymore

The pain is just too great

It overtakes me

No longer can I make it wait

 

It has devoured my heart

And gnaws at my soul

It chews up my insides

The pain has taken its toll

 

Soon it will spit me back out

And I’ll put myself together again

But until it does, and even after

I’ll just let the pain win

 

~Chrystal Swallows

Written on

July 29, 2004

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was written at a crossroads in my life.

View crimsonangel24's Full Portfolio

Living Through Life

Folder: 
2001

I feel a pain in my soul

Overwhelming me

And overpowering me

Ripping my soul to shreds

 

Escape is futile for it wont go

It always stays, always hurts

More and more each time I try

To leave away from the pain

 

Thus I deal with it; barely

Pushing more and more each day

Willing myself to go on

Though it is hard I do so everyday

 

Pushing myself; willing myself

To go on, to get through the day

I live to see those few I love

The very few I truly care for

 

~Chrystal

Written on

May 3, 2001

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was yet another one about my depression. Forcing myself to go on.

View crimsonangel24's Full Portfolio

Y The Pain

Folder: 
2001

 Y the pain

I no want

He hurt me so

Y do I keep

I do not no
Pain from the creators

Y do they hurt

Pain from every 1

Pain from me

I no want it

It hurts so much

Help me

A nif so sharp

This should work

Pull it over skin

See my blood flow

 

~Chrystal

Written on

February 24, 2001 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was written during one of my dark periods. Please note, I have never cut, or attempted suicide. Because even though I get depressed, I know the sun will come out again. And there is alot I wrote during my deppression, which occurs regualar because I am bi-polar. I dont really know why i wrote this like I did, I just did.

View crimsonangel24's Full Portfolio

The River

Folder: 
2000

The river moves

Swift and smoothly

Down the mountain

 

In the past

Very little water

Moved through here

 

Barely a creek

Hardly even that

Was here before

 

Then it hit

A huge storm

Filling it up

 

Now it flows

Rapid and unpredictable

Going mountain round

 

Full of rocks

Large and small

Wide and thin

 

When some water

Goes to clouds

More fills it

 

Until time ceases

My river shall

Always continue flowing

 

~Chrystal

Written on

December 27, 2000 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This one is about my depression. My coming to terms with the fact that it would always be there.

View crimsonangel24's Full Portfolio

(Untitled)

Folder: 
2000

Our white walls surround me

They hold me from every I know

They keep me from my friends

They are a barrier that to me doesn't show

 

I feel like a prisoner

Although a prisoner I am not

I have tried many an hour to escape

Futile is the long battle i have fought

 

Insane I could be but yet I am not

The walls that hold me are not padded

Although my biggest fear is that they should be

And for those white jackets I have yet to be fitted

 

I wish these walls would release me

Their grip is be coming stronger

And it seems that if I struggle

I will be forced to stay even longer

 

Tighter and tighter these walls do go

Squeezing the air from my lungs

Bet yet i shall write until my last bre--

 

~Chrystal

Written on

April 26, 2000 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was witen many years ago in a depressive spot. I never have nor will i even attempt suicide, because goodness knows I will probably succed the attempt.

View crimsonangel24's Full Portfolio

Tarnished

Every silver lining will soon become tarnished

Without the motivation to keep your dreams polished

I have since descended to the hell that we acknowledge

As the unfortunate as the ugly as the strange

 

For hope is something you can only grasp on to

When you’re living a life that you care to continue

A soul cannot function after it has been chewed

By the unfortunate by the ugly by the damned

  

View brighteyes89's Full Portfolio