Can't breathe
The words won't come
As if frozen in time
And burried so deep
Another moment
Barely hanging on
To what Iv'e become
To who Iv'e become
Fill me with lonelyness
Can't ask for anything more
Bring me to space
To float away
Num as from the cold
As from the tears
And the feeling is gone
Till it will come again
Endless Decision... Broke Comfort...
Blind Destiny... Keep Away Sadness...
Engulfing Memory No Escape
Sweet Reality... Falling Dreamer
I Am Personified Emptiness...
I Surrender Meaningless Hope...
Why won’t it stop?
Why won’t the pain go away?
Why does it hurt?
Why does it stay?
I can’t take it anymore
The pain is just too great
It overtakes me
No longer can I make it wait
It has devoured my heart
And gnaws at my soul
It chews up my insides
The pain has taken its toll
Soon it will spit me back out
And I’ll put myself together again
But until it does, and even after
I’ll just let the pain win
~Chrystal Swallows
Written on
July 29, 2004
I feel a pain in my soul
Overwhelming me
And overpowering me
Ripping my soul to shreds
Escape is futile for it wont go
It always stays, always hurts
More and more each time I try
To leave away from the pain
Thus I deal with it; barely
Pushing more and more each day
Willing myself to go on
Though it is hard I do so everyday
Pushing myself; willing myself
To go on, to get through the day
I live to see those few I love
The very few I truly care for
~Chrystal
Written on
May 3, 2001
Y the pain
I no want
He hurt me so
Y do I keep
I do not no
Pain from the creators
Y do they hurt
Pain from every 1
Pain from me
I no want it
It hurts so much
Help me
A nif so sharp
This should work
Pull it over skin
See my blood flow
~Chrystal
Written on
February 24, 2001
The river moves
Swift and smoothly
Down the mountain
In the past
Very little water
Moved through here
Barely a creek
Hardly even that
Was here before
Then it hit
A huge storm
Filling it up
Now it flows
Rapid and unpredictable
Going mountain round
Full of rocks
Large and small
Wide and thin
When some water
Goes to clouds
More fills it
Until time ceases
My river shall
Always continue flowing
~Chrystal
Written on
December 27, 2000
Our white walls surround me
They hold me from every I know
They keep me from my friends
They are a barrier that to me doesn't show
I feel like a prisoner
Although a prisoner I am not
I have tried many an hour to escape
Futile is the long battle i have fought
Insane I could be but yet I am not
The walls that hold me are not padded
Although my biggest fear is that they should be
And for those white jackets I have yet to be fitted
I wish these walls would release me
Their grip is be coming stronger
And it seems that if I struggle
I will be forced to stay even longer
Tighter and tighter these walls do go
Squeezing the air from my lungs
Bet yet i shall write until my last bre--
~Chrystal
Written on
April 26, 2000
Every silver lining will soon become tarnished
Without the motivation to keep your dreams polished
I have since descended to the hell that we acknowledge
As the unfortunate as the ugly as the strange
For hope is something you can only grasp on to
When you’re living a life that you care to continue
A soul cannot function after it has been chewed
By the unfortunate by the ugly by the damned