Book 5

My eyes have clouded over with the milky white death,

I know I am dying yet I also know it is not the first time to happen.

There is something in me growing.

Something dreadful and hateful just under my skin

I can feel it copying my bodies moves and even my breath

It was not long ago that I became this and it was destined to happen.

Yet I can hear what can not be, its screaming growing.

Bones and flesh tearing and braking just under the skin,

The shadowed hands pull at my heart over and over,

Reaching out of my very soul and killing my body over again.

I can hear the tormented screams from the depths of my mind.

The call of agony scratching my ears from my body.

It is as if the very fabric of my life is become unraveled. Is it over?

This shadow life blinding my eyes to what I can not see again.

I must keep walking thought, mist keep walking, have to find my mind.

But the pain will not stop it will not leave me alone, ripping at my body.

Making my pain grow more and more.

The blood I shed will not make it stop.

There screams in my head keep me awake at night.

Making my relentless body become full of angst and sleep deprivation.

These daemons steal parts of my soul more and more,

I can not find anything to make it stop, there is no hope.

Its time I let it all just go away.

Let the pain fill my heart with death and decay

Let everything I know just float away.

To the distant shores of my mind all in disarray

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Gothic, Emotions, pain, sorrow, not much else to say.

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I'm not insane i'm me

Can i tear outcha heart baby

Ya better say yes

Don't say maybe

Cause i'll do it anyway

I'm a little sick and twisted

i'll make you hurt and pay

Crazy little lady

my minds as dark as my soul

i'm more then just shady

Gothic dolls


black lipstick

Its all essential...

if your me

and yall never be free

Cause i suffer insanity

or so the doctors say

well really i'm normal

those called normal

their the screw loose ones

i'm not insane i'm me

Ya call me unstable

say im never able...

to find a little sanity

im not crazy

instead im just not afraid to laugh

or be spontainious

so i'm not reserved

and i'm laughin

for what seems to you no reason

well i'm just remberin funny things

im not sorry for bein able to laugh

to hell with society

just stop tryin to fit in

better bein you and truely happy

then unhappy just to fit in

and all i've got left to say is...

i'm not insane i'm me

no i'm not insane i'm me

I'm just me

not isane

I'm me

Author's Notes/Comments: 


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Suicide Poems

In the corridors of my mind…

Voices speaking

Voices shrieking

Voices seeking

To rob me completely blind.

In the hallways of my soul…

Voices yelling

Voices telling

Voices spelling

Out loud, their goal.

In the alleys of my heart…

Voices willing

Voices killing

Voices spilling

My blood, thick and dark.

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Your a sheep to society(unfiished poem)

Your looking at me

And laughing at how i dress

But i don't do it to impress you

Your jealous that i'm not afraid to be me

When your a sheep to society

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Truely Ginuine

I say love is pain

Yeah love is pain

The funny thing is

I thought I was to blame

My feelings now Is truly M.O.D.

Cause money ova d**k

Is what’s now in me

You see me, I got love for no n***as

One n***a jump stupid

I’ll be forced to pull da t***ga

You askin’ me why I despise them

Yeah why hide it

You n

n***as lie and deceive

But that is not what got me to write this thesis

How one n***a can hurt a girl so bad

Then the next one who said he wouldn’t

Hurt the girl just as bad

I am not writing just to have fun

I’m writing because if I didn’t

I might have used a g*n

It is so funny to them

Yes, this I know

Because to hurt all the women

Means power to those h*es

And yes I call men hoes

But it’s for one simple reason

It lets them no how much

I hate to even see them

Now you may call me crazy

Or you may call me wrong

But like a poet I make love to these words

Like a rapper would to his song

Now it seems so unbelievable

Yes I’m only seventeen

But if you’d seen what I seen

You’d probably be just as mean

Now this doesn’t mean I’m dike’n

It just means that I’m real

I got one for the females

This one here will reveal

Exactly how I hate them too

And why I say they aint real


Now this one is for the females, yes I hate you too

I know you don’t like me because I’m prettier than you

Well it’s not my fault that Jah blessed me so well

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this poem a couple weeks ago becaause some people showed me their true colors so i felt i had to tell them how i felt.

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Sitting here thinking of you

Missing all the things we would do

Knowing that i can't see you again

Never being able to feel you again

I've changed for the better i hope you do too

But know I will never again be with you

It's funny how you hurt me

But i took it all in

It hurts you to see that i happy again

Wait did you think i would keep on crying

Sorry if it hurts you, but i'm not crying

I've cried for too long

It's time to move on

Don't worry about me

I'll just keep getting strong.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this poem for the one that hurt me. I wrote this because that hurt helped me to grow.

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Suicide is for Quitters

I don't want it anymore.

Take it away.

Let me be happy,

with what I have today.

I can't live with this grief,

Let me die in some peace.

Emotions slit your wrists,

from this world a release.

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Acts of desperation consume my mind

Bloodlust and pain are constantly eating away at me

It burns inside, this craving I can't describe

The color of life is all I see

I hope my desperate acts wither and die

My breathing is hard and fast

Sweat beads off my pores

I shake at the beautiful tenderness of the flesh

What it keeps inside is my everything

I can't fight off this feeling

I can't stop turning into a terrible person

I'm desperate to feel the warmth pass through my lips

As it splashes off my teeth

Like a wave crashing onto a lonely shore

To feel Alive again is what I need from you now

This act of desperation is my last

I will be done after this night

I can never live with what I am going to do

Your very soul will be a part of me

I love you always and forever

I thank you for letting me take you

But I will never be able to handle this

Turning you into me

Draining life and souls to live

You will do desperate things like me

But you will never find anyone who loves you like I do

You gave me your soul

And I give you life eternal

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End of my Sanity.

Book 3

Darkness chokes out the last rays of light.

Bringing the horrors of the night.

Scratches and scrapes, fallowed by scary cries.

Tell me to run for all I am. As I cry.

Tears of fear fall free of my eyes.

As those that run with me die.

Sounds of men chocking with blood,

As if we are running through a bloody flood.

My legs ach, my lungs burn

As I feel my body twist and reshape as I turn,

I know I was cursed, to die!

But why?

Am I forsaken to live? Am I?

Why must this curse consume me!

Why does it fill me with a new me?

Me! New feelings, new smells of fear.

While those around me die with fear.

Am I to kill them? Am I so damned?

So cursed to die, without my family.

Now I truly cry. Loosing the damn

Flooding my home in blood. I die.

But now I am living, to repent, to try.

Hear I am with the new dawn.

Listing to the cry’s of the bleeding fawn.

The sounds of crows and vultures feasting.

The cries of the dying waiting.

Waiting for the final stroke of death.

Now I must go. To the far left.

For to the right, is the rest of humanity.

Why must I leave you ask?

I must search for my sanity.


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