It infects me still
Raging through my blood
Controlling my mind
My body
It started so simply
As a common cold
Then it became the flu
Now. . .
It burns within me
Twisting, destroying
As it takes over me
Then it releases me for a moment . . .
I look around
I see for the first time
The damage it has done
And I weep . . .
For I am diseased
Diseased . . .
It looks beautiful
From so up and close
That's how it works
A wolf in sheep's clothes
I fell for it again
Same way as before
The illusion controlled me
And destroyed me once more
It's singing again
"Let me free"
It's pleading again
"Set me free"
It's demanding again
"RELEASE ME!"
On it's knees again
"Will you free me?"
I see it's true face now
It can no longer hide
Here for so long now
No more to abide
No more illusions
No more sheep skin
No more diguising
The fire within
It's singing again
"Let me free"
It's pleading again
"Set me free"
It's demanding again
"RELEASE ME!"
On it's knees again
"Will you free me?"
You've ashamed me so much
Why should I let you free?
You've destroyed all I've loved
I will not set you free!
You're not master of me
And you will never be
I've had enough
You will never be free!
It's face twisted with rage
As my face it sees
Showing no fear
For I hold the keys
It's singing again
"Let me free"
It's pleading again
"Set me free"
It's demanding again
"RELEASE ME!"
On it's knees again
"Will you free me?"
I am hungry
for your love
sweet but hard to pry open
similar to a coconut
self consciousness of my own holds me back
temptation to taste you, urges run through my spine
feeling vivid tingles
travelling to the end of my fingertips
Through the eyes of a keen black cat
you appear as a mouse
the helpless prey
like strawberries dipped in chocolate
you are smooth and rich
Like liquid
flow into me and fill up all the emptiness
and heal every hole that is in my heart
you are my source
to survive
like water to keep every living breathing thing alive
Pretty computer,
I'm sleeping alone again tonight.
Does my kitten get tired too?
I bet she does.
My love's mistress,
She can go all night.
Some of us exhaust however.
Some of us must support more than our share.
Does he care that she'll never return
his devotion and love?
Probably not...
Will I have to walk away
before he feels me slipping?
Wandering, looking ot fill this
hole
that shouldn't be there...
Maybe he feels she is more
deserving of his love,
affection,
time,
devotion...
Maybe mine isn't good enough,
She certainly is
nice
pretty,
cold,
the perfect escape.
it started again
and i'm confused
because i want to fix you
and i can't
i'm not made for that
i can't do for you
what i need to
maybe I ignored the signs
maybe we were just delaying the inevitable
Monica was smart, and was a girl so innocent,
until she got caught up with the wrong crowd.
She began to do these horrible things
which her mother had never allowed.
She smoked alot of marijuana everyday,
and sometimes she liked to snort the "powder."
Suddenly she became a completely different person
as her mind was becoming much cloudier.
Letting men abuse her body, and crush her soul,
in certain ways in which no female should.
People would ask why she degrades herself.
Her answer was, "Because it feels good!"
The truth of the matter was simple...Addiction!
But she was too nieve to see the truth.
I remember the day she became a stripper,
and started having sex in the booths.
I use to look in her eyes and see a special person,
but now I see a sad, lost soul.
I remember she wanted to become a lawyer,
but the sex and drugs she could not control.
Then one day she awoke to discover
she was pregnant, but didn't know by whome.
No more "mothers" help because she past away,
from sadness is what I assume.
To think, she use to be a wonderful person
who went to school, and achieved excellent grades.
Now she's lost with a child, has a bad ADDICTION,
and sadly poor Monica has A.I.D.S.
The one to look out for.
For a while there I was a dope fiend
a magician of sorts
turning all cash into drugs
loved ones into fools
and the rest of you into pigeons
suckers to be talked out of cash
for services never rendered
promises always broken
deliveries never made.
For a while there I was the one
that forced you to learn
how to hold pocket books
under arms tight against body
not ride subways
walk into dark hallways alone.
For a wile there I was the nightmare
that made the Big Apple the Rotten Apple
the reason for Mom and Dad’s
flight to the suburbs.
Then I found Jesus
and the shit really hit the fan!
For a while there I was the one
you had to look out for.
Now and a blue then the sky over my head
Shows me a sparkle fire full vision instaid
Of a blue pen paint illusion inconsiderate skys
Falls me to knees colored scuff green sliding sighs
Rough temperate sounding collusion deliberate collision
A rendered soft celluloid smile a considerate decision
The faster we fall into firm flame and real
The faster our stand in the wide dreaming field
The feathers that land us in our own beadsteads
The feathers have mind to see who blood reds
Now and a blue then the ground under my feet
Harrows me growls mires in shuddering heat
With a mighty thundering amused cradling earth
Falls me to knees colored rough blue flying birth
Rough tempura colored inclusion an ultimate incision
A rapid soil granuloid smile deep yawn cataclysm
Alas I call upon your heart,
To 'ear a tale that I came upon,
About a lad with a generous start,
But continues gamble his way undone.
He goes to the venue full of cheer,
With a healthy wad inside his vest,
And returns forlorn with his cheek a tear,
With 'firm resolve and deep regret.
His fortune does not come too ready,
And what little he ekes from his life,
Does all too soon make him quite heady,
And heading uptown for more taste of strife.
It began one day from a pleasant stroll,
By the river after a happy outing,
Where he went into a bar to escape the cold,
And the thought of a drop had him pouting.
He had sat himself down before the bar,
And ordered himself a refreshing beer,
And asked of the barmaid "What's that over thar?"
And was told it was the new gambling machieen.
Well he'd never really had much of a punt,
But thought he'd be right to give it a go.
It looked a pretty harmless stunt,
As he viewed other players already in tow.
So he opened his wallet and pulled out a ten,
Got some coins from the cashier and sat in front,
Of the first poker machine he had meant,
And wondered if he'd be lucky or not.
Well he dropped the coins in and pressed the button,
The pictures rolled round to a whirr and a click,
He quickly found it doin' nothin',
And deep in his bowels he new this weren't the trick.
But then with a push and consequent spin,
Music played, lights flashed and people turned heads,
He had just had his very first big win,
And collected one hundred dollars with a fifty cent bet.
Now if had known that this was the end,
Of being ahead with the poker machine,
He'd have the good sense not to go there again,
And would have finished his gambling quite happily.
But instead he goes there time after time,
Trying to relive that beginner's luck,