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Folder: 
2020

this is new.

 

this is

there used to be a light

and someone has turned it off

in front of my face

but for years I thought I could still see

before I went half blind

 

this is

what do I want

strong soft

both

neither

scared

 

they tell you

lean on a shoulder

when you’re stumbling

but I started this at sundown and there are too many trails

now I am all alone and it is midnight and I can’t find the moon

I can’t find the things that have always been there and

this is my finish line to cross

 

this was supposed to be a simple walk

done before dark but

it has turned into fighting a clear path through a storm

 

I used to be able to love without second-guessing but

now you are a given,

nothing else is

how am I supposed to find solid ground when I can’t feel my own body

how am I supposed to love you like I did when I can’t spell the sentences of my own love letters

I don’t know how to reach through my own heart

and find what I needed a thousand years ago

how am I supposed to need you

when I don’t know what I need

 

this is

being tossed under waves I thought were freshwater

and getting a lungful of salt

 

this is

not fitting in the mold they have given me

or the one I gave myself

 

this is

forgetting everything about the words supposed to

 

and running on

 

pure

shaky

want.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 8/5/20

we love questioning our sexuality...again

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Starward's picture

This is very impressive.

This is very impressive.


Starward

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