In Songs (day 175)

Sometimes I measure the time passing in songs.


An especially long moment with you

is the Beatles’ Her Majesty.


A night I don’t want to let go of

mutters the power of Dream On

A breath I don’t want to set free

holds the haunting chords of Amber Run

and when everything seems shattered

I Set Fire to the Rain.


We’re making soup out of beginnings

and catastrophes out of finish lines

and along the way

there’s music behind the curtain.


A heartbeat is old pop songs

I can still sing as well as I can smile.


Free falling is

snippets of 500 Miles

sprinkled with Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.


My screams crack your walls,

I’m OneRepublic’s Burning Bridges,

Lights lyrics on my stepping stones,

and when I carry a voice that doesn’t trust you

my throat is etched

Sara Bareilles’ Lie to Me.


I sprint and I can feel his heartbeat in my pounding heels,

Taylor Swift’s Sparks Fly,

it’s funny how now

runners and her voice

summon ghosts of his fingers to my face.


Pieces of Halsey and Sia and Florence & the Machine and Lost Frequencies,

invisible playlists,

you could call them my devotion

because I feel and feel and can’t speak,

maybe you should

learn the music filed under your name

to know what’s going on in my head.


Invisible playlists

spell out the names

of everyone I love,

each of them

messy and heartwrenching and incongruous

and yet somehow

they fit together,

just like you.


Half my life has sped by in colors

like the highway on these foggy mornings,

bass and chilling vocals echo

Sometimes I measure the time passing in songs.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 1/18/17


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