here, wasn't the plan

Here, wasn’t the plan

By JFarrell


Here, wasn’t the plan;

Around the corner was the perfect place,

Scaffolding, no street-lights;

Other than the patrols in hi-vis jackets,

Around the corner was perfect.


So here  I am in the subway

At three in the morning

Rope tied to the railings,

I put the noose over my head

And step off.


And am surprised I can’t breathe

And I so desperately want to


I clutch at my throat,

The rope,

Clawing at it

Wanting to end the pressure

Whole body thrashing





I know I should be grateful to whoever found me

Cut me down and saved my life


I had the courage, I had the guts

And I did it

And it was right


Thank you for saving my life

But I really wished you’d left me there


Author's Notes/Comments: 

yes, i was selfish enough, stupid enough

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