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Forsaken - I
It was a night that I remember
A night of last December
I was a bit disappointed
And was a little ember
I was sitting all alone
And was thinking of something clever
I thought that I'm the only one
Whom god have sent forever
I was amused there for a while
But amusement was bound to sever
I realized that I'm forsaken
And forsakes don’t get better...
You did well. Is English a second language for you? If so, count the syllables in the individual words to get the flow of the words the way you want them. Sometimes not using contractions hepls the flow and sometimes it helps because it changes the number of "spoken syllables" in a line. Example: Can't vs. can not. Again, you did an excellent job.
Interesting poem
made me think
of a speacil
song that i had on
my mind Sung by
THE ARTIST OF STING
Fortess Around Your Heart
I LOVE THAT SONG NOW EVEN
UNTIL THIS DAY :*)
I LIKE THE POEM SARDAR :*) .
hope is all well with you to .