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The Loneliness Inside
Lonely days of rainy wind storms
Strolling down the open sea
Contorted by roaring waves and foam
I feel an absence in me
Lost amongst the rain clouds
Torn apart by wind
Rain washed away all the sorrow found inside of him
Screaming on shore I stand alone
And I feel the same wind he felt blow
Connected by a feeling no others
can ever know
In the distance his figure is seen
Made blue by the same absence felt in me
Away I was carried from the flood
Swept up by the wind that protects me
But my saviors were his captures
And now I can hardly see
Because he was lost
Drowned in me.
I like this piece. "Drowned inside" is a very poetic way of describing one's deepest inner emotions pertaining to both loss, and the abstract effections derived around love's profound desires. I feel that this effort delivers unique imagery, and has a truly romantic quality to it. (I enjoy some of the poetry on this site as much as the classics, and I very much enjoyed reading this particular post of yours.) Keep up the good work, as I anticipate focusing upon more of your quality material.
new_wave_franky
December 21, 2009.
I HAVE
WENT
THRU
PAIN
LIKE THAT TO .
Open to interpretation. I would say that this poem is very open to interpretation, mainly because it is so vividly descriptive but describes things that seem to have great metaphoric meaning. I am very impressed by your use of imagery. I struggle for hours to form such a scene to describe how I’m feeling. I have failed many times and I guess I’ll leave it up to you to decide weather or not I ever got it right. I will interpret this poem for you. Show you how I see it. The first stanza is all about the struggle and the fight. It takes place between you and someone very important to you. It is obvious that the struggles left you feeling very alone. “rainy wind storms” are arguments. You are the wind and this other person is the rain. The storm is your struggle or your argument. The sea is time and the strolling is the passing of time, great, open, wide, uncertain time. It could also be your sea of thoughts. Things you say or wish to say. This sea of thoughts and this open time is distorted by waves of anger and other emotions, but mainly anger. The foam is anger that lingers in this sea of time, the build up of bad thoughts. Okay this is getting long. Let me break it down. Second stanza says that you were blinded, lost in all the things he wanted you to see. He was torn apart by you but now it seems that all his sadness that you caused has been removed by his own will to remove. This is perhaps a fear that I don’t believe is true. The third stanza is you left behind, caught in the past while he moves on because you still feel him inside you. He is a part of you forever. (don’t think that I don’t understand this. I’ve told you that I feel what others feel all the time and everyone is a part of me. You believe what you want.) Now you see his life from the outside looking in and it seems that he is unhappy and is forever alone. I love how your words connect the stanzas together. If you cut them out and mixed them with stanzas from other poems of yours, it would be easy to piece this poem together. You use the same words and similar phrases. This is excellent style!! The last stanza is how you escaped and got yourself out of this horrible situation. You save yourself but in saving yourself you condemn him, or capture him in you. Now he is almost gone from you just a whisper in your mind ever echoing, for all of this