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Critically Aware
The fastest i've ever given up
multiplied by the amount of times
I've been afraid to try
if it were a weight?
Like a neutron star
Probably
Quite the tingle down my leg
When i'm anxious
I get tensed up and a pain radiates
Down through to my ankle bone
Zaps me like I'm a bug
I feel like a bug
When I see myself in the mirror
After hours of thinking about
What I'm going to do next
Am I antisocial now?
Have I forgotten how to be?
I notice my interactions aren't so keen
These days
I notice myself looking away
It's not ok
I want friends but
Finding parking is such a hassle
And I can only handle
One or two events a day
The rest I stay, stare at screens of
Varying sizes until the sun sets &
The five stars you can see from
My yard start to give off their barely
visible glow
So faint, that's how a city makes you feel
If you let it get to you
Anyway
Powerful
"The five stars you can see from
My yard start to give off their barely
visible glow
So faint, that's how a city makes you feel
If you let it get to you"
Having grown up in a big city, I not only fully get the "five stars" reference, I know that the sentiments you express - "so faint, that's how a city makes you feel.." - are ones that quite a few friends and acquaintances experienced. The way you make the comparison, with even such majestic and raging sources of light as stars being all but drowned out in the city, is the peak point of what is a fantastic poem, end to end.
I only wish to have come across this sooner. It's an instant favorite.