I have a heart that’s made of stone
Because you cannot live on love alone
If you want my love
You will have to etch your name
On a heart that no one wants to claim
Once I had a heart of gold
But it’s since been changed to fit the mold
Of a selfish world and a tragic past
A world where gold would never last
Then you came with a heart of fire
Blazing flames climb ever higher
The heart of stone can feel its glow
And stone becomes like melting snow
To the other side of the veil is the reprieve,
To be seen only through a multifaceted sheen
Whose wisdom can only be perceived
By he who understands it's worth
Within the populous' array of dreams.
To walk alone in silent wonder, seeking,
Meek, in humble consent, harkening with clarity,
Not to awaken a misgiving or a calamity,
The veil once lifted, intrepidation and waiting cease,
The joiner exposed, understanding it's crosspiece.
6:07 PM 4/27/2013 ©
To want 'more' of something creates an assumption, a query, a debate of sorts within the self that there is an awareness of lack within the self. So before reaching for 'more' I have found it beneficial to examine if there is indeed 'lack'. To win 'more', out of a need that underlies the things we choose to see, as opposed to that which we refuse to see, can lead exactly where we do not want to be, only to feel the perceived need for more of the same lack. Introspection of oneself beyond the surface lack is what makes a winner. You can be the best at anything you want to be, if you see yourself as the best at the start of the journey. There may be no medal of honor, no red carpet, no crown of glory or paved paths of precious gems. There will only be the divine knowledge of gaining the insight of your truth and your purpose, which is a only a trophy that rests in the sacredness of infinity....that's all it is. ;-)
Chase your dream. If you get tired along the way, ask yourself for more of what is lacking.... ;-)
The dawn of a night,
An eclipse of the sun.
Giant spectacles of power,
Here, where life has begun.
There's a hum to the world,
You can only feel in your heart.
An understanding and knowledge,
That will set you apart.
A drive to fulfill,
To learn all you can.
The mysterious, the unexplained,
Secrets hidden by man.
Like ashes of cloud burst,
Falling thick in your hands,
Lies the power of all heaven,
Made manifest in this land.
As night slowly lifts
The crow, on the hour
Comes the tempest, the winds,
Held tight by your power.
To unleash the unknown,
To set fevers a fire;
A revolution has come,
Our world, much too dire.
This calling resounds,
To those with the will
To come out of the shadows,
To take that Red Pill.
Like a beacon of light,
Drowned in a tempest's wild holler,
It seems almost hopeless,
Why should we bother?
I don't know about you,
But for myself, I'll agree
Sometimes it's easier,
To pretend you don't see.
But eyes be blind,
While ears don't hear.
Heart's can't lie,
And the mind breeds fear.
I hold out my hands,
I put the call out.
Will I hear a reply?
I know without doubt.
I'm walking the ledge, feet dangling over the edge, again.
Holding on to the rope that's holding on to me.
Wrapped so securely now, breath can't come too fast,
Choking on the knot as it struggles past.
It all dangles so far below.
All the possibilities.
But none of them can ever really be,
Because I can never be the me that should have been.
I've forgotten his face and his feel.
Forgotten what it was like to wear a normal boy's skin..
Too many years spent playing pretend.
But I'm left with his mind and all its crystal sharp brilliance.
Left with the list of failures that are mine to compound.
Left with the sense of an ending, a time that comes,
No more pretending.
All of the would-have-been and maybe-coulds.
All of the best of him, turned to shit.
Just enough left to make it work.
Just enough, to make sure it hurts that much worse.
Knowing what exactly I'm not anymore.
What exactly I lost along the way.
Being left with a handful of gems.
Gems that shine so very bright.
Precious stones I'm told many would kill for.
Little shining stars earning me friends anyone would
Be lucky to have.
These same pieces of soul-torn iridescence,
Are as rupees to most of you.
Rupees held in a shaking hand.
A hand beneath notice.
That believes in its worth, just as you do.
Too many would stare.
Spit upon me as I kneel patiently.
Hands help up hopefully.
Seeking your benediction.
A second chance at a forgone salvation.
Your laughter and your sneers,
At first produced tears and painful confusion.
That became replaced with a hardness one can almost taste,
And the distance of separation,
Between eyes and humanity.
Between mind and reality.
Between healthy mentality.
So he buried his hope in your spit covered sand.
He took his treasures and hid them away too.
First one at a time and then few by few.
He then went away inside himself,
Because sharing your world just hurt so damn much.
He hid and he healed,
Mending the broken best he could,
With spit and some dirt,
With the hateful words you hurled his way.
He fashioned himself a pair of shabby wings.
To the sun he would fly.
He'd soar to the moon and you'd never again get to see him cry.
So far up his tears would be as rain,
Watering the earth,
Feeding the plain.
So high up you'd never have to see him again.
Amongst the stars and the clouds,
With the sun all around,
He could be pretty like you,
And whole inside too.
He'd come back down after days and days.
Months after months.
You'd have forgotten who he was.
Start over again,
This time like it should have been before.
Better, than before.
With a smile on his face; he flew into the sky.
Soared with the birds, though awkward at first. They soon welcomed this dirty one,
Welcomed as kin. Bore him up when his wings would dip. Gave unto him the sacred trust
of guarding their chicks. Many suns came and went, many stories were shared. He learned many things, among them that they could really care for him and his odd ways. That they cared at all.
Soon came the day, they ushered him along. Saying it was time he went and learned, the rest of his song. He wasn't sure what they meant, and it hurt him to leave, but he trusted in their words and their well-wishing ways.
He flew and he flew, arms all but dead. Along came a cloud and offered him a place to rest and be fed.
The cloud was with his family.
It was quickly decided this stranger would have shelter and share in their warmth. The man-boy stayed with cloud family season after season. They showed him their ways. He learned how to nurture the needy with tenderness and care. How winds blown just right can make or break even the strongest of man-things. How to be soft and gentle. How to grow great and dark with a storm held inside you, lightning flashes for your warning, growling rumbles soon to follow. The threat of danger soon to come. How to be still and silent, blowing as the winds take you. The man-boy grew to love them and they grew to love him too.
They saw in him, his lightning, as it was battling his blackened skies. His spirit that was stubborn,
not one to quit fighting. The day soon came, when the man-boy and cloud family, knew it was time for him to go. He would miss them and their different ways. But there was more he needed to learn. Cloud-father left him with the words "A song will only be yours, if your heart can sing along".
Man-boy thanked him and took off, the goal to fly higher still.
He began pondering those words, even as they weighed at him.
"How can my heart sing along when I don't know the words?
I must find the words!", he thought as he flew.
He had vowed to be lovely to look up, and so the man-boy thought of the loveliest thing he knew.
His mind searched and it travelled, far and wide did it go. To the butterflies and their glittering-rainbow clouds of motion, to the sparrows in all of their murmuration fabled brilliance. He thought of the stars in the heavens; gems so much like those he'd left behind and long gone. The loss and the memory, twisted inside him tight and hard; snakes made from shattered dreams and broken glass.
His arms stopped their flapping and he began to fall. For the first time in a long time, he began remembering it all. What caused him to shape his dirty wings; all the tears of burning shame. All the pain he had found down among the man-things. All the joy and love he'd felt once he left that below and behind him. With the thoughts of his journey and the one yet to come, he found the will to flap his wings again; once again higher he flew.
Sunlight shining down from above; began to erase, the tears burning twin trails down his un-pretty face. Blinding him with warm brilliance, holding him in its embrace. He now knew which direction to fly. The sun made everything more beautiful, so perhaps even him. Off man-boy flew to see if it could be true.
So higher and higher he flew. The sun was above him and ahead; so ever westward he went. It sank into the ocean before man-boy ever came close. His heart began sinking as the sun did, his hopes stalled yet again. He swore to try again the next day; found a cloud of which to make his bed. Soon the sun graced the world again, so far to the east. Hopes of beauty to be found began to again live in his chest. Off man-boy flew, his smile renewed in its zest. He flew and he flew and ever closer he grew. Closer he came but there was always further to gain. He flew to the east, and he flew up high. He flew to the west, came back to where he began. Day in and day out, he flew and he tried. Day in and day out, he flew and he cried. The sun ever teased him; offerings always out of reach, if only just. Man-boy tried and he strained, his body burned from the effort.
The wind and the rains bathed him. The sun baked him brown. The flying shaped him strong. The crying rid him of the pain, that had lived in him for so long. He began to hate the sun and its promises; to him in his mind, it had made. Of beauty and being better, freedom from always being so heart-sore. Daily his thoughts were of the sun, and all of His lies. Daily he was consumed with his failures; all of his many failed tries. Daily the sun, rain and water turned his dirty wings into muddy sticks. Daily he had to try harder to fly; notice he never did, no and here's why. He lost himself inside himself as he fixated and obsessed. To wrapped up to notice how he was becoming more even as he became less.
One day his two muddy sticks became one and one stick can't be flapped to fly at all; it was on this day, that he began his greatest fall. The sun didn't blink and he screamed and he cursed. Cloud-family saw him and came to his aid. As they neared him, they shrunk still in place. This wasn't the man-boy they knew; couldn't be who they loved. This creature screaming profanity and filled with hatred; this man-thing must be a mistake. On he fell, confused as they did nothing. Hurt by their silence, confused by their own. Still lower and lower he fell, his bird friends saw him coming; not a single song did they cry. They hurt most of all; for at his silent passing, tears they did cry. The birds saw him and knew him; they knew that they no longer knew him at all.
Still further he fell, ground rushing up from below. As he streaked toward the ground; a falling star, he thought of all he had learned; of the birds and their caring, of their song and his goal of finding his own; that he had left behind somewhere along. He thought of cloud-family and how they made him family, too. He thought of the lessons he had learned, of all of the truths. His own tears began to fall as he realized his folly; all that was shared with him forgotten for nothing. Forgotten in the pursuit of something, he'd already found along the way.
The "Thank you", that spilled from his lips was carried away by the winds. He hoped it would reach the ears of those he loved and he hoped they would forgive him of his man-thing ways. He smiled in sad acceptance just as he struck the earth. It was there they found him in a crater made by his fall; it was there they found him, not broken at all.
He was beautiful and tanned, muscled like a god; as there he sat, broken in the muddy ground. They muttered that it was a shame, a tragic waste and a pity. They couldn't see that inside his broken body; his mind and soul had once again come together; that he was actually for the first time, finally whole.
Only he'd forgotten where his treasures were hidden, no map was there to be found. And he was now stuck with a broken body; nary left an ounce of luck.
But as cloud-family saw; his spirit is strong, not one to quit fighting.
Many times I asked myself why.
Many times I cried alone wishing I would die.
Many times I asked God what is the reason for me to have these painful feelings.
Lord, can you please tell me your purpose and your meaning.
Why must I bare these things that I'm going through.
I sat alone, and then I heard a voice say, "it's because I have chosen you."
I didn't get it at first.
Did he choose me to live with this hurt.
How am I suppose to have faith and trust in what is unseen.
It took a while for me to understand what he means.
so here it is.
The answer to my quiz.
It was you who chose me to be your child.
As long as my journey has been, you've been with me for every mile.
It was you who chose me to feel this pain.
You knew I'd be strong. I wouldn't be the same.
You chose me to be different from the world.
You chose me to comfort other girls.
You chose me at this time.
You knew I would recognize and understand your signs.
You chose me for these reasons.
Because everything under the sun has its season.
You chose me at this place.
You chose me to win this race.
This race in life.
It was you who saved me every time I cut my self with a blade or a knife.
You saved me from overdosing.
So for you, my heart, Im opening.
It is you who stands there with your arms opened wide.
Waiting for your chosen ones to choose your side.
I'm glad I have made my choice.
I'm glad that when I truly listen, I hear your voice.
I invited you to live in my heart,
because I know you're the only one who can fix what the world has torn apart.
I knew you loved me when Jesus died for my sins.
It's good to know that I have a true friend.
I know that you show me your mercy and grace when I pray on my knees,
But you truly showed me your love because it was YOU who chose ME.
By: Twylla Medina
There's a part of my life
That means the most to me
I get away from strife
To people who can really see
They know me, they love me
They care about my needs
And when i really need it most
They're the ones who help me succeed
The teenage life
Is highly affected by peer review
We trust those around us
To tell just the truth
Not often are they
The ones we can trust
But with my friends
Their help to me is a must
They know me, they love me
They care about my needs
And because they're the best
I KNOW i'll succeed
The best part of my life
All my favorite things
Are the people who help me through my strife
They're teenage human beings
The great Mother Teresa was a very quotable kind of lady. As a matter of fact, it seemed like God blessed her with the gift of words, the ability to fight off an army of hate just by opening her mouth to speak a few thoughts of love. I suppose that is where this all begins. You must understand her talent, the beauty of her gift, and the divinity of it all. To not love Mother Teresa is like a cardinal sin, but I suppose it it possible. So if you are reading this and think that way maybe you should understand what she is to me, verse to the world.
Everyone knows her story, so I wont go into it, but her story in my life is a bit different. In my life, she kinda doesn't really well exist. Of course she did and was an amazing woman, with a lot to share and cared about the well being of everyone but her words her works, where never directly spoken to me. So she is like a fairy, like an angel. And I believe in her, the same way I believe in God. I don't hold her that high, she isn't even a close second. However they are both beings that guide me, and they happened to be good friends. A quote from Mother Teresa was my come to Jesus moment, and every time I read her words, I have a come to Jesus moment, you might not, but we aint talking about you. To me she was superhuman, the things she did on this earth were not possible without the lord. She is proof in my eyes that Jesus is real., and that somebody really does love me.
Now that we got all that out of the way, the next quote from her won't haver to have such a long intro.
"Peace begins with a smile", but what the heck does that mean. For that matter what is peace in her eyes. Perhaps what she meant was that peace begins with a kind gesture, a smile not only with your mouth but with your heart. Maybe the way to solve the pains and hurt of the world is hidden in a smile. There are many ways to smile, you can smile with your eyes, your mouth of course, and a deeper way, that requires more thought, a smile with your heart. I believe she wanted us to smile with our hearts.
A smile isn't suppose to be a sneaky move, a dishonest display, but a kind way to say hello, or that you understand, or you love the person, or you understand. When you smile mean it, don't smile because you have nothing else to do. Don't abuse the power of a smile to hurt someone. Don't smile because someone tells you to, if they don't have a camera in front of you to capture the moment, you are only pretending to be happy. They say you only get what you give. Walk around pissed off and everyone and everything will piss you off any more. Yet a smile is contagious, a smile will warm a heart.
If a situation comes down to understand each other's point. Not giving in or giving up but simply listening and understanding where the other person is coming from. Facing their culture, their ideas with open eyes and an open heart. Smile. That smile regardless if you are still confused, means you are trying to understand. Or you don't really understand right now, it means you are gonna one day understand. Don't look a someone with wondering eyes or talk about someone because you don't understand the way they think, or the way they are. Just smile, and pray for understanding.
I think that is what she meant, let your heart smile. Don't grow bitter because you are confused or don't understand where the person is coming from. Take their words, their views in consideration. Review it more, talk to them about what how it feels to be them, put yourself in their shoes. Wouldn't you want someone to smell and show a little acceptance to you? The more we accept the differences between us will only make us stronger. Don't buy into the idea that if you believe in the right for someone to be love, believe or think differently then you do, that somehow your own values dimmish.
Who you are is who you are, you can't change you. You can only make you better. And while I am telling you to be kind to people who are different that you, I don't mean abandon your own differences. Simply accept theirs.
Dance over you, I dance all around you.
I shake every trace of you, every thought of you-
Every anger, spitefulness, and pain from you-
Away from me.
I ROAR at your despicability
And it dissolves in fear.
My Understanding doesn't cure your foolishness,
My Patience invites prolonged agony.
Henceforth, it is the despicable you
And not the human in me-
Whatever is in you, is not in me.
And I never want to be.