He took away something I could never get back
The innocence of a child now self esteem is what I lack
I was only 7 or 8 how was I supposed to know?
I never knew someone could do something so low
Thinking back on it now I wondered why did I let him touch me
Was "no" and kicking not enough to get him off me?
I told him "no," mom I told him "no" like you always taught me
Why didn't he stop mom? I said "NO!" Why couldn't he let me be?
To him I was just a stumpy still tree
He took away something deep
My mind, some nights I couldn't sleep
But I'm stronger now and more confident in myself
I won't let this guy take my stress or my health
I've never told anyone this and I probably never will
Part of me feels guilty, maybe if I had it would of stopped the chills
But now I'm 21 and I'm starting to see
That NOT everything was taken away from me
I REFUSE to let this man take anymore from me
The innocence of a child is ALL it will ever be.
I am still a Virgin, something I hold on to with all my heart
I plan to be, till the day I walk down the isle with my future sweetheart
People wonder why I don't like being touched?
They call me prude and judge but I don't nudge
The simplest thing, like holding hands I couldn't even do
And that's all yes, yes because of YOU!
No one knows or truly understands
Why I would never take anyone hand in hand
People say I come off strong and confident, in my head I say "if you only knew"
That it was all a facade behind something SO TRUE
But now I can finally say that this facade has turned to truth
I'm starting to leave everything that happened in my youth.
Someone once told me, "never regret, if it's good, it's wonderful, if it's bad, it's an experience."
So I'm taking that as a bet
I'm starting to face my past without regret
Because if it didn't happen I wouldn't have worked up the courage to be up here
Speaking with words that are so sincere.
Richard Bach once said "what the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly"
My translation is that I'm transitioning to a new beginning and moving on from the past
Its not the end but a new beginning at last
I like to end things on a good note
So here is one of my favorite quotes
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.
Girls say they are looking for the right man, but they look right through me.
They say there want someone with similar interests, but they never want to get to know me.
So many have come and gone, and they don't know that by pushing me aside, they have taken a part of me.
They take one look at me.
They see someone who enjoys and plays sports, but they immediately think typical jock.
They see someone who majors in a word they can't understand and they immediately think nerd.
But if they would have sat down and talked with me, they would know the truth.
That, yes, I've played sports, but I'm a little shy.
And don't have tons of friends, I'm a close friend kind of guy.
Baseball and football are how I pass my time.
Heck, I rarely write poems and make them try to rhyme.
I've only been horseback riding once, but I would go again, I'll even go again for a date.
I feel uncomfortable at big parties, but with close friends, I will stay up late.
I spend some time playing video games.
But that's just because I love competition.
That last line didn't rhyme. Oh well. It's my poem. I can do what I want.
They don't know that I will give them everything I can.
I'll be their man.
Who holds them tight. Every night.
But I know we'll argue, and once and a while fight.
But after it's said and done. I will continue to treat you like the princess you are.
It's funny how people always say "don't judge a girl by what's on the outside, but what in the inside."
But to be completely honest with you. Both sexes do the same thing.
We see someone who isn't drop dead gorgeous and we automatically dismiss them.
How do you know he doesn't like the same music, food, movies, sports, art, or interests?
You don't. But guess what. He loves everything you do.
And because he wasn't what your physical appearance of Prince Charming, you may have just passed up a better soulmate than the one you end up with.
I sit here at night, and I think of a girl.
A girl who I've spilled my heart and soul out to.
A girl who I believe is perfect for me and I believe I am for her.
She's currently searching for "the one"
I know her interests, but she doesn't know mine.
Cause she sees that I'm not the kind of guy every girl flocks to.
I don't want to get into specifics so I'll keep the message more general.
So when people talk about how guys don't treat girl by their feelings instead of their looks.
Girls, you do the same thing.
Think about the friend you have who always says "Hi, how are you doing today."
And instead of just saying "Hi" and killing the convo.
Why don't you ask him how his day is going.
Maybe one day your lives will be doing the same thing.
My significant other is more like insignificant keeping me completely bent out of the norm rather it's during his storm of rage or during his calmness on the flipped page my significant other chooses to remain keeping me caged up like I'm good for nothing when he puts up a front for others, blinding them to his bluffing....
Ahhh the key to how he lures others in close enough to transform their shine into being dimmed. As I could never forget his grin of enjoyment of tearing down what he pretended to being meant....
He is the one dent in my life permanently and 100% devoted to terminate me. Pain, sickness, teary eyed, exhausted and hungry would not make a difference.... responses always was well, but, after, I promise, and next time as he stood in front of me, starring into my eyes briefly yet bluntly. The significance of another can possibly turn to be insignificant, sickness, and an brutally event to never forget.
-April 17th, 2014-
Once upon a time in a far away land,
An ice cream Queen led the Vanilla Bean Clan.
Their containers were generally purple and blue,
Still, no one, but no one really knew,
If the Vanilla Bean Clan’s flavor was true.
You see, their lids were cast from forged steel.
A welded ring formed an impenetrable seal.
With no window or door for the curious to explore,
No one really knew their flavor for sure.
The Queen’s edict, ruled the land,
No one, but no one, in her clan
Shall ever remove their lid, for if they did,
The penalty was death by thaw,
For those who did and those who saw.
Once upon a day in this far away place,
A teen brought upon the kingdom disgrace,
He replaced his lid with cellophane, his flavor plainly seen,
This ice cream teen was butter pecan, not vanilla bean.
No one but no one should have a cellophane screen!
And if that weren’t enough to disgrace the Queen,
His container was not purple and blue, but breen.
The legislature worked quickly to outlaw breen,
Before the child was brought before the angered Queen,
To answer for violating the rule of the land,
And for the secondary charge of “butter pecan.”
Before sentencing the boy to die,
The Queen asked one question, “Why?”
To whit the eloquent teen did reply:
“I beg you great Queen, hear my plea,
My Queen, My Queen, how beautiful are thee,
Your container and lid are for all to envy,
The only thing that could rival such perfection,
Is your inner Flavor that I can only imagine,
Although never seen, I accepted this as true,
But hope you will share your flavor with me
as I have shared my butter pecan with you."
The Queen responded before a packed hall
Of pint sized dignitaries and peasants and all,
Conspiracy to "off a lid" is a capitol offense,
Wishing to see my flavor is not a defense,
I am beautiful and he is not,
So offing my lid was his jealous plot!
His fate was sealed when he was caught!
Throw the revolutionary into the melting pot.
As the boy melted into butter pecan stew,
He screamed out to the Queen, what he now knew,
I see! … I see! … I see you!
Although the Queen’s lid was still securely intact,
Her vanity and in-ice-creamity were indefensible facts.
Her flavor was now keenly known.
One might think she would be overthrown,
But one would be wrong now and then,
For no one took their lid off ever again.
No one, but no one in the Vanilla Bean Clan,
Wanted to end up like butter pecan.
into the dark treed forest
SUNDAY IS OUR DAY OF REST
WHEN WE WHERE OUR SUNDAY BEST
AFTER ALL WE PASSED THE TEST
WE JUST HAVE ONE SMALL REQUEST
HELP ME LOVE MY BROTHER
TEACH ME NOW TO GIVE
LET ME KNOW YOU LOVE ME
EVERY DAY I LIVE
Into the soil we plant our seed
Surround it with affection to prevent a weed
We feed and water this delicate notion
With love we give our hearts devotion
It's begins to sprout, our little conception
Tiny leaves, the feelers of innocent perception
Basking in days of naïve exhilaration
Unaware that it is a product of creation
Our little shoot has grown to tree
With rain and snow beating down on thee
Wonders of why there are such days
Thoughts of times spent better ways
Exhilaration turns to thoughts of despair
More misfortune than our little tree can bare
With fear in it's heart and a tear in it's eye
It visualizes the days, it's spirits were high
Suddenly the sky darkens and stars shine through
Screaming “That's exactly what we wish you to do”
Just think of love and appreciation
For you are indeed our finest creation
We adorn you with light, guidance and acceptance
You need only to walk through our lighted entrance
Keep aligned and focus on all things good
And you will discover our brotherhood
You see, we are all connected in every way
And have been since the dawn of day
For your thoughts become our expansion
That's how the universe has built it's mansion
For you are god and he is you
Together you work like paper and glue
So think your wants and your hearts desires
And you will ignite creations like wild fires
Keep positive thoughts and make it your goal
To keep feelings of gratitude and passion in your soul
So stop the martyrdom, irritation and rise
To focus on life through rose colored eyes!