sad

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Back to back the night replays, 

Sitting here with a bottle called decay

 

And we’ve got the depression scented incense 

Sitting in a circle, wondering why it makes no kind of sense

Why I'm dwindling to live or live and suffer on the fence

 

I got fed up and left the room 

Went outside, tried to escape all that gloom

But what I found next was even worse, just rumors of doom

 

I visited this house I called home, but I’m not on the lease,

It all sounds so familiar, got the corpse of me laying there on center of the floor while you feast 

Got it displayed over there like an art piece 

Act like it was the true me, as if I was already deceased

 

But I’m still here, on the same broken couch, still sitting here 

You ignore me, go on, take another beer

Am I invisible? Do I not exist to you!?

Every part of me, debatable, divisible, that’s what you called only true.

I just want to find a breakthrough

And just like you, it never mattered, no matter what I do.

Just like you, 

 

It feels like an eternity since I left, I never cared to say goodbye 

All these broken objects still here, and I never understood why

But as I grew up, I know now, I know, it’s how you expressed to cry
The broken objects are a physical mental wall you built to hide
Broken and unwanted, justlike you,now I know, throwing it out was hard to decide

          

But you didn’t wanna outright say

You felt your own blood was a source of your betray

Leave the family, it’s better, leave them astray

Let her stay there, let her lay 

With all her demons she keeps at bay

 

I know now, your mind

Deteriorated

Dementia kissed you on the cheek and made us her kind

And like you I met her too, I became contaminated 

We are only moved by the broken blinds

Forever Unanimated 

 

You worship this building and every hole in the wall

Hide insecurity, and all that was spoken, ignore another call.

Put duct tape over the mess, and defend it all 

I wanted to ask, when did you begin this journey just to fall? 

 

 

I should leave before the sickness drives me mad

And just like you I close the door 

Until next time, dad

I close the door, and leave the past on the broken, dirty floor.

But unlike you, I must defeat what you couldn’t

The thing like me that you always avoid, the tainted inner core

 

 

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Heart Ache

Folder: 
Heart Break

My heart aches everynight I cry myself to sleep, When I have the thought that you aren't mine to keep. 

My heart aches every morning my notifications are baron, and so are my arms. All I can do is keep caring for your attitude and your charms.

Everytime I hear a bird coo, or when I even put on my shoe, all I can think of is how

My Heart Aches For You.

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Cherish them while they're still there.

Loneliness

Loneliness is being in the room with your love,

And realizing that there is no love in the room.

 

Loneliness is having a nightmare in bed,

And rolling over to realize that the dream was warmer than real life.

 

When I needed you

You weren't there

When I had to trust you

You broke my trust

When I held you up

You knocked me down

When I gave you everything

You took it all away

 

Loneliness is wanting to be understood,

But realizing that no-one else

Has the time or patience to discover

Who you really are

Fey

Folder: 
Tales and Fables

The heart within me turned to stone

Like a wolf pack's lonesome cries

Darkness woven in my bones

But starlight fading in my eyes

I hear the whispers in the trees

A wisp's song fluttering on the breeze

But ne'er will I go home again

Ne'er will I go

 

I heard the call of maiden fair

But swore again I'd go not there

My lonesome crying in the night

Has formed me as a sullen wight

Oh cursed fairy! How could you lead

A child to such an awful deed

For ne'er can I return again

Ne'er to return

 

Alone at last, my will is done

Now, forever this must be

Before my mind be overrun

To hurt no more, my final plea

My past is lost, the future nigh

My story dead on sands of time

To home I must return again

Again I must turn home

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Scars

If life was like a letter

And reality a dream

If love was somewhat better

Alive but less extreme

 

If the past was dead and rotten

And Death was just a door,

Then I could bear your loving scars

For now and evermore

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Arrangement in any minor key

Arrangement in any minor key

By JFarrell

 

The music is me

Discordant, harsh, out of tune

A roaring cacophony

Ill composed from its beginning

 

Composed by a loveless mother

Transcribed by a violent father

A minor key

For sadness and pain

 

Along the way

It’s been added to, altered

Key changes everywhere

By those who consider themselves conductors

 

But, now

A new instrument has found its voice

From the depths of my soul

Haunting pizzicato strings stir and swell

 

An orchestra of strings hails the now

And is answered by woodwind breaths

The angelic harmony of harp song

Envelopes all

 

With a life of its own

The music of my soul rewrites me

Rewrites all that I was and have become

I am now a movement in the key of E

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

music heals

Ex

Folder: 
Léy Yī León

We woke from our potholed hearts,
Walked as we trembled,
Kept our memories in white, 
Fill our breath evalastingly,
Poured our kisses to our lips,
Rise though left our hearts dust away.

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tags:

The Road

Folder: 
Isabella

I once took a breath,
With a dose of smiles,
Covered with death,
But taste of an angels breath,
Quenching thirst as death roars within me,
But only bears the taste of your love.

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tags:

when THEY come for me

When THEY come for me

By Jfarrell

 

When THEY come for me

It ain’t gonna matter

I will be so far gone

THEY can have my decaying, rotten remains

And do what THEY like with them

 

And

 

I don’t care why THEY’re coming this time

Take my home

Throw me out to live on the streets

Put me back in that hospital

You will take your meds or we will tie you down and force them into you

 

When THEY come for me

I ain’t gonna be here

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

sorry

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