lost of interest

I Left My Heart...

Somewhere inbetween 'I don't give a

fuck' and 'Who Cares'...an advice well

given is hardly a driving force;

honestly, I cannot say I have learned

from all of my mistakes, so I continue

to err- at times by choice; through my

highs and my lows, crashes inbetween

...

 

[I am always winning] I walk with my

shoulders straight and head-up, even

in times of defeat....]

 

I left my heart in the darkest of night

where the blood that runs through is

as cold as ice, the touch of death at my

fingertips--in places where the living

dead reside; my heart black and hollow,

resembling my thoughts...

 

{The devil has been trying to take my

heart and soul; he is losing the fights;

the battles continue...}

 

I left my heart in churches and

cathedrals where hypocrites congregate,

worship, and rejoice...praying to wood

idols and misguiding the shepard's lambs...

where ministers collect and don't preach

the teachings of their lord and savior....

 

I left my heart in dreams turned into night-

mares, becoming reality...the lost of a God,

and childhood innocense, which is now

part of my dark assylum, my sanitarium

from sub-conscious, and self-destruction...

 

I left my heart in the memories of my youth, 

my first crush, and two best friends! In the 

early morning walks to school and the 

afternoon walks back home, which were

an adventure everyday...

 

I left my heart in El Salvador on my recent 

trip to Central America; there my people 

make the most and best of each day, 

money is scarce; no one complains, serving

three meals a day...I am humbled!...my 

heart belongs in El Salvador!

 

I left my heart with those whom I have met;

friends and foes without disrespect I love 

you all, I live and sin, chose to be unforgiven;

I leave my heart on these pages I write on,

stories, and poems I narrate; I bleed my

heart out in my life's journals and share them

with the world; my security to a broken heart!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Where did you leave your heart at?

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Aces

My love is like the great sea deep

and full of tenderness,

but as the sea my wrath are waves

of scorn when love dies within me.


The tears I cry become rivers of

lament, and black as the spirit of

darkness when my confidence is

shattered—

heat from my heart when embraced

feels like a home full of joy and

humbleness, but also as the flames

of hell burning everything I despise

to die.


I am nobody's puppet!


To those who play with my sentiments

will feel the heat of my rage and like

the claws of an eagle I will gouge their

eyes, turning to look at them and say,


"See how stupid you look when you

decided to take me for less.”


If at any moment I am despised for the

love I give and teach is because jealous

are those whom do not want to love or

respect those who can.


The saying goes "It is better to forgive

and not forget," when love dies within me,

I do not forgive and forget the existence

of the wicked, and my friendship is a

blessing that many want to uphold, yet I

am realizing that many smiles are

pokerfaced who think that I don’t have the

ace in the sleeve of my shirt.


I'm not an asshole!


But I will keep my respect for now,

because when the tremors are over that is

when I will spill my punishment upon those

who were not true,


"Kneel wicked and kiss my feet."


You belong to me now!  ...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Don't test me!!

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The Girl I Never Knew

I met you a year ago...or was it yesterday?!
You keep in touch, but stay disconnected-
I have kissed you once or twice, that was nice!
I feel like I just met you,

"What was your name again?"

We embrace in conversation, yet you lose your
direction-Your weary eyes reflect your pain,
I can see through them the past lingering in your
mind...Maybe is the timing in life, maybe is the life
I will live in time...to fall for random women,
every single one of them with a troubled past-
'Project' women in my life! Now I realize a project
you have become, giving me little to work with,
but expecting the world of me, in which,
I would give but you are not interested.
You say you are scared, I think you do not care to
dare...

"Hey you! the girl I never knew..."

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I never knew her...

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