GIRL. LONDON

BLEEDING FROM A HEART

Fay can see Baruch
from the window
of the living room
down on the area

 

of grass below
he is alone
sitting on one
of the bomb shelters

 

left over
from the war
she peers down at him
taking in

 

the cowboy hat
the silver looking
6 shooter toy gun
he seems

 

to be cleaning
she wishes
she was there
with him

 

but her father
says she is to stay in
and learn about the saints
and said he will

 

quiz her later
when he gets home
from work
about them to see

 

what she has learnt
the book
is on the chair
unopened

 

a bookmark
of St Benedict
lies on top
her mother

 

is in the kitchen
preparing soup
she knows her mother
would turn a blind eye

 

if she wanted
to go out
but they both know
that her father

 

would punish her
if he caught her out
especially
with Baruch

 

the Jew Boy
as her father calls him
the killer of Our Lord
he often says

 

although Baruch
denies being involved
in any way
she hopes Baruch

 

will look up
at her window
and see her
he has put his gun

 

in the holster hanging
from the belt
of his jeans
and holds a rifle

 

bought for him
for his birthday
he aims at the sky
and twirls around

 

pretending to shoot
pigeons flying
over head
she watches him

 

as he aims
at the coal wharf
where the coal carts
are being loaded

 

with coal
from chutes above
her father doesn't like
Baruch even though

 

Baruch always smiles
and says shalom
to him if he passing
her father on the stairs

 

of the flats
Baruch says
her father is a schmuck
but she doesn't know

 

what that means
but if Baruch said it  
it must be a nice term
she thinks wiping away

 

the steamed up glass
where she has
breathed on it
she blows him a kiss

 

from the palm
of her thin hand
he doesn't know
but he'll get it

 

any how she knows
he aims at
the steam train
passing over

 

the bridge
by the Duke of Wellington pub
she smiles as he does
the kickback

 

from his rifle
the train passes
unharmed
the driver unaware

 

he has been fired upon
by a cowboy
from the grass
she eyes him

 

determinedly
wants him to look up
at her window
he lifts the rifle

 

to the sky again
and fires
then he pauses  
lowers his rifle

 

and stares at her window
she waves
he looks
she waves frantically

 

he looks away
she bites a lip
he stares up
at her window

 

and beckons her down
with a wave
of his hand
she waves

 

crossing her hands
as if to say
can't come
he gazes

 

and then waves
and blows a kiss
from his hand
upwards

 

then he climbs down
from the bomb shelter
and disappears
the grass is empty

 

he has gone
the book of saints
lies on the chair
unopened

 

she goes
from the window
and picks it up
and opens

 

and begins to read
sensing
a good portion
of her 11 year old

 

girl's heart
bleeds.

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