# addiction # love # passion # relationship #ex's

Her

Hey, man i don't know if im dreaming haha or if this is reality. I had a day meant for two, but only me i was without you. I met my father in a new home, but feeling so lonley why bother, why bother.

  Soon sun fell, stars came alive, i watched they all shimmer, but dulled without the woman i despise. 

  Love the despise, surley i do, but surley is katyaa and she makes me so blue. I love her like ice cream, one scoop then two. I would gladly give her my life, for one day with you.

  Saw you on the road with that man and you, one little boy feeling so fooled. Ideas and nightmares mitigated so blue, i miss my darling katyaa fuck i think thats you.

  Where was my love, did i not tell you its true? Why did you tell me, you love me not whom, infuriates my rage stealing my trust from you.

  I will find another reason to get him to crack, things you see in movies i can organize this attack.

  Wasted energy that is though, when all i want is you. Stomp STOMP STOMP STOMP oops im acting a fool. How much does it cost to have you love me true? I will empty my savings but not my checking you stooge.

  Do you love him? Like is it cool? I'll leave out the details to win your affection too. Please stop bending and breaking the rules. You can not love more then one, two is just RUDE. 

  I care and need, only a little from you, my dad thinks im nuts my mom thinks im screwed. I could care less when the fuck you do but come home to me, i'll ask no questions of you..

  I aspirate so much to spend time with you; i'll wait all night to be with you.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

No comment on her, maybe on the next poem.

Days Like Today

I should have forgotten about you a long time ago

but instead,

Thoughts of you and me,

And how he used to be,

Play like home movies in my head.

On days like to today I hate that I miss you this much,

And that my body still longs for your touch.

I find my self thinking about what might have been,

And wondering if I had to do it all over,

Would I make the some choice all over agian?

I miss the smell of your cologne and the way it smelled on you,

You might not think I remeber, but I do.

On days like to day I hate the tears I cry,

that you will never see,

I hate that your memory does this to me.

On most days you would think that I would be glad that you are long gone,

On most days you would just be water under a bridge that I had burned,

But on days like to day you are just a reminder of the painful lessons I have learned.

And someday in the future I will be able to move on

and be thankful that your not here,

But so far I have not been able to do that for almost 15 long years.

Because even after all these years, and all you put me through,

There is still a place in my hear,

That still holds love for you,

And if you asked me today how I was doing, I would tell you that I am fine,

But the truth of it is we both know I would be lying.

So on days like today if I happen to cross your mind,

I would like you to know, and I hope it makes you mad.

I was the best thing you never really had.

Because it is the cold hard truth,

You could never really love me,

Because you were too wrapped up in you.

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You know who you are

The way I feel for you is beyond intense

I want you the same way I want freedom

the same way I need my freedom

I'm just not sure if I would need it any longer if I couldn't have you.

I often ask myself if you feel the same

Do I make your heart pound or your mind race, does your vision of love include me?

You play a starring role in my fantasy, in my destiny and in my reality

I'm fighting for you in this war of love and I don't want to become a casualty.

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Abstraction

The visage of the time we spent.
Sits heavily in mind.
For what i lost meant.
With out i am left blind.
At home left wandering in unfamiliar terrain.

 

What is it I speak of if not love.
  A euphoric state of relentless attraction.
My predisposition, not to see lack thereof.
To the point of abstraction.
Preoccupation with something to the exclusion of all else...