My Engagement Speech to Fred

For my husband

Today in front of all our friends and family,

I wanted to express just how happy you make me and what you mean to me.

If you go back 18months, I thought my life was over. I thought there was no way I would ever give my heart away again. But then you walked into my life, and my outlook changed.

You lifted me out of my sorrow, and became my best friend.

You were my shoulder to cry on, and you gave me strength to face another day. You brought a little ray of sunshine into my heart that had already died. You brought it to life again just by being you. Our friendship grew and I found myself missing you when you weren’t around me. I felt myself longing to hear your voice and to see your cheeky smile. It was then I realised that what I felt for you was more then friendship, it was far deeper then that.

But on August 9th last year you and Ate Jo took me out for my birthday and at the end of the night you found the courage to kiss me. It was just a kiss, but a kiss that changed my life forever.

It brought me back to life Fred, and made me think of the future rather then the past. It gave me a reason to look forward to tomorrow and to the rest of my life.

Our love was built on friendship not lust, and because of this I know we will last for ever. In the last 12 months we have both been through so much and have had to revaluate our lives and how we want to spend them. And I realised that if I had to spend a lifetime without you it would be a life wasted. Because I am, who I am because of you.

You inspire me to be a better person, you give me strength to kick my bad habits and you make me to want to be more then I am.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written For My Fiance for oue engagement party

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Hell Discussion


Dictionary explanation of Hell:

The place or state of punishment of the wicked after death; the abode of evil and condemned spirits; Gehenna or Tartarus

My opinion of Hell.

In my opinion of “Hell” we make it what it is. For if we are to go by the Biblical point of Hell, it is a place we are sent because our souls are impure and unchaste. Therefore our “Hell” would be our eternal damnation and torment of our past “sins” in life. Hence if we “Lusted” after a person or item, in “Hell” we would be forever tormented with its never ending presence or it could be placed just beyond our reach. So in my eyes I see hell as what ever we make it. It could be place of eternal pain, if we fear pain. Eternal sins come to haunt us. Past mistakes that force us to relive a painful or traumatic experience. So what is a true hell? Is it a gathering point of damned or lost souls that have fallen from grace? Are we forever tormented in a hell till our lasting demise? Or can there be redemption from hell? Is there a way to brake free of ones own sins and seek redemption? Depending on whom you talk to. I have talked with several “professional” priests about this. One from the Roman Catholic denomination says that there is no way one can be redeemed in the eyes of God from hell. Another told me from his Catholic learning (He wouldn’t give his denomination) that once in hell if one were to seek redemption from God and cast his “sins” from his soul he could be redeemed.  From a friend who is of another belief stated in more or less words: Hell is a eternal place of damnation that one must face there sins in order to move forward to seek God’s divine love. Hell can also be manifestations of ones own guilt or personal desire, or even a hatred of an idol or item. We can have a Hell on earth, personal hells we endure, and yes even emotional hells we put our selves through.

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Perfection. What IS perfect?

People always go around saying:

"My god! That's PERFECT!" Or "You're so perfect."

But do they really know what perfect is?

Think about it.

If someone were to be perfect, they would be immensely beautiful... And incredibly hideous. They would be skinny and fat, short and tall. They'd be good at playing sports, and a complete klutz. They would use all and none of their brain. They would make good choices. They'd make bad choices. They would be marvelously kind, and a total asshole.They would love everyone, and hate everyone.

Because, you see... Everyone's vision of what 'perfect' is is different.

They'd appear and act different to every single individual they met - And they would not have a personality or appearance of their own.

They'd not be human.

Perfection simply does not exist.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Yea. I'm going to make a rant section...2006

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Are we too lost?


Take me away

I want to make you laugh

Until you cry

I wonder if you think of me at al

You wanted perfect

I wanted you

Now I'm too Perfect

For someone like you

Losing all the shining

Hypocritical for a while

It's your last chance

To hope for something better

Change your life forever

Before you'll take all the blame

Undeserved, never respected

Even less than would a whore

Unremaining, Unaffected

Lease all this infinite truth

I do not intend to lose

Or satisfy

Tooth for tooth, Eye for eye

(Tabitha's: `Hold the S`)


Author's Notes/Comments: 

Ever wished something just was? Ever wanted something to just be? Another frustrated poem, let's not hope it'll afflict ye mood all too much~~

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Me rattling on.

What does it take to hate another person?

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pasttense pressidense

you kicked me off the bus and made me cuss

you kicked me in the heart and made me impart

but there's nothing you can say

you are my inflatable elephant grey

ashes and ashes is how they all fall down

sundays to tuesdays they dissolve the wall in town

evaporated through your tiki torch

sword in hand for knowledgeable psychology

you extinguish the light, now i can't see

you purposely put those ideas into action

psychomorphing into a dwarf in Dusseldorf

surveilance tapes will explain in concordance to eyestrain

displacement in the basement of governments in movement

moving to another phase, another wheelbase to misplace

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From the Heart

words of love fall short from lips of stone
the word love itself has not a meaning
From the Heart love is true
just like love from me to you
But the true meaning of love is lost
its been thrown around like its nothing
with no meaning love can have no beginning or an end
like life itself a fragile reminder of things gone wrong
but when you speak From the Heart life is so much more manageable

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** Read First

This poem contains certain things,

Not for the weak at heart.

It may be very shocking,

It is very at time dark.

Perhaps you should choose wisely,

And be careful what you pick.

If you have a week stomach,

You very well might get sick.


Author's Notes/Comments: 

Please do pick carefully!

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Last Speech

And I leave this unto you:

Gaze beyond the clouded horizon

And look unto your destiny

At the end of the world

When spirits fade

And the sun falters,

Look again to the distant light

When all is shadowed by truth

And the ocean is near,

Remember the scent of wisteria

As you stand alone upon the grass

And find your heart,

I shall arrive

Author's Notes/Comments: 


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