Battle within

Who Wins?

Maybe I should end it all tonight.
Just one shot and I could end it all tonight.
I've grown tired of people expecting me to fight,
I just want to lay back,
I want to see the light,
I want to walk off the earth, disappear from sight.
I want to let these words take action and make this the last night!

Or maybe... Maybe I should wait and see.
Wait and see what lies ahead of me.
After all, there is no destiny,
not to me,
In a world with no god we can be free to be whatever we want to be!

However, I fear there is a god.
With it's sick gaze set upon me,
steering my life into a blood red sea.
I fear there is a god trying to bring about an end to me.
So if I were to end this life tonight, who wins?
your god or me?

The Game 11-21-08

I want my razorblade.
This tension inside is
making me slip.
I need to bleed.
I need to cut.
I need some form to
let it all out.
My mouth will never
open up enough to say
what my eyes are
giving away.
The tears. The lies.
The fake smiles.
The hidden cries.
Just one slice is all
I need,
To stay under control of
This mindless game.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

the battle within one's self

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Calmness before the Storm 2011

Still life plagues my Highway
What I thought was glory
Is all smoke, colourless glamour
Same bland fake bacon lust
All I have is slashed flesh
The chess board set is my Highway
I find glory in the battles
Destruction my pawn, Knight my mayhem
Whatever flesh exposed is bleeding
Through a bloody Jester smirk of chaos
I cry out my war cries
For now my lust is the wars within

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