Suffer in silence

it hurts to say your name out loud

i always choke on the ending vowel 

i know what made this happen is my fault 

and I know for a fact I was entirely wrong

i thought you wouldn't miss me

and I thought you didn't care

and yet every corner I turn you always prove me wrong

i wish you knew the extent of what I feel 

sometimes I don't feel like any of this is real

i don't want to talk

i don't want to smile

but I do for you every once in a while

because I don't want you to remember me as always sad

rather I want you to see me and always be glad

i want you to smile, laugh and live your life

but I'm so scared of being left behind

because I love you

i don't ever want you to doubt that

i know I've messed up

and I'm sorry about that

but I can't change what happened

and I can't change the past

but I'm trying to show you I can change my act

and maybe you'll see that I'm not all that bad

but it gets to me a lot more than it should

my feeling over-ride my thoughts

and I can't put them to bed

i don't want to cry anymore

please let this hell end

im suffering in silence but I won't tell you that

Seraphim's picture

Reply

Hurt is never ecstasy

Pain is never pleasing

Although it leaves you anguished 

There’s beauty in your suffering

 

Like a rose, when crushed

Delivers its sweet smell to its destroyer

Like a flame, when doused with water

Turns into a cloud and flies away

Like a mountain, who’s being mined

Its rock turns to dust and dances in the wind

Like the night, being conquered

Brings forth a beautiful day

 

Silent sufferer take heart

I know it's agony you feel

But while you soldier on in retrospect

There’s still beauty in your suffering

 

Still Your Friend, 

~Seraphim


Post Tenebras Spero Lucem

jsunpdx's picture

Don't be afraid to turn those

Don't be afraid to turn those end-rhymes into internal rhymes. It's a well-written poem, but let your rythem not be dictated by the ryming. Pick your line breaks where they allow each line to be stong in themselves, or at least form couplets. I enjoyed reading this when I picked my own spacing. Consider what sounds best, rhythem-wise

allets's picture

Rhythm Wise

Poetry writing leads eventual to a feel for rhythm and rhyme. I did not catch rhymes at first reading. A lot of one syllable words. Introspection eventually turns outward; a poet's evolutionary process. Nice confession poem the day after Valentine's Day. Irony at the end - nice :D


...a