Author Information
my daily poem feb 12, 2004 - STATUE OF LIBERTY
the statue of liberty,
it's either black or white
depends on who you are.
it turned quite black
years ago but refurbished
to look brand new, of course
the last thing it should do
is turn black.
the hackneyed mushy
writings about the relief
our ancestors heaved
while reaching america's shores
upon seeing this statue
is a white lie.
the only thing if at all,
the liberty statue
has come to anything is
that it is still trying hard
to stand up for what it is
- to stand tall in the darkest hours
and the broadest daylight.
its torch is marble and never really meant
to illuminate right from wrong.
it wept silent tears over the mockeries
heaped upon him, that it was the first to greet
rusty chains, shackles, corpses...
and skin-covered starved and
all human indignities day in and day out
when it was installed.
amid these, the white angels to the
new land claimed for freedom laughed
and perpetrated similar injustices
that fuelled their flight.
america's freedom has always lay
in the hearts of sincere americans - black or white.
our statue needs a real torch and flame
to brighten up those corners of our hearts that
we have kept dark.
beautiful work
collected from
poetrygroups;motherofallpoetrygroups@yahoogroups.com, songwritersandpoets@yahoogroups.com, mikeswritingworkshop@yahoogroups.com
dearest all, thanks for taking time to read my
poem. i never knew there are people who actually read
poetry until i join poetry groups. it is a discovery
and it has encouraged me to finetune my craft. thanks
sincerely from the bottom of my heart. i am waiting in
earnest to read your works too. john tiong chunghoo.
Good read - very good - excellent for February (Black
History month)
(Sharon)
Nice job - good through-line, some fine individual
lines like
its torch is marble and never really meant
to illuminate right from wrong.
There a couple of places where the syntax and pronoun
choices, etc.,
give me minor stumbling blocks (like "...the mockeries
heaped upon
HIM," although the Statue of Liberty is a female
representation).
I'm guessing English is not your first language, yes?
But the
overall sense is clear, effective and competently
handled.
(brane)
Such bold true words
it wept silent tears over the mockeries
heaped upon him, that it was the first to greet
rusty chains, shackles, corpses...
and skin-covered starved and
all human indignities day in and day out
when it was installed.
our statue needs a real torch and flame
to brighten up those corners of our hearts that
we have kept dark.
(Barbara)
Really liked the poem, John. I find most poetry on the
web too sentimental and self-absorbed for my personal
taste, but this one tackled a bigger theme and I liked
the way you used the colour/s of the statue as your
starting point.
Just one point, as a Brit I'm never quite sure what
counts as standard American English, but should the
word 'lay' in "america's freedom has always lay"
have been 'lain' as it would be in standard British
English?
Sorry to be a nit-picker, but I really did like the
poem.
(Aileen)
I say, "A-MEN!" to this poem. I would go so far as to
say that the Statue of Liberty today represents WHITE
and NOT WHITE. For example, if a baby is born of a
parent with African heritage and the other parent is
Caucasian, the baby is considered BLACK. Black is
considered leven, and a little leven levens the whole
lump. The Statue of Liberty represents Black, White
and all the colors in between, and yes, in this day
and age, she needs a torch that burns much brighter so
that the evil of prejudice can be exposed. I liked
your poem very much... (Julie Fonda)
John -
My first thought was that your work was going to home
in on ethnicity (black or white); reading in en toto,
it still seems that, metaphorically, it might work
better were you to describe the statue as tarnished or
pristine, covering both ends of the spectrum.
Now then; having alluded to a myriad of problems in
our society, why not put forth a specific, and then
perhaps pose a solution? Could it be that, in
exercising our precious freedom, society has become
almost immune to, for example, the bending of morality
in the media? (A poor example, given that all of us,
in our own way, represent that media.) In my prime,
the word fuck, for example, was never bantered about
so freely in open court, as if one were ordering one
particular blend at Starbuck's, and certainly not on
prime time broadcast television. I don't consider
myself as a moralist more than as a realist; to me,
that particular word is so powerful that it should be
reserved to describe emotions felt when an SUV cuts
one off in heavy traffic, or when enjoying animalistic
intercourse with an uninhibited lover. In each of
those situations, the entire world is not exposed to
my emotions or thoughts; they're still, essentially,
privately mine. That's my position.
That's an extreme example; if you want one that's more
universal for we Americans, why not talk about what's
happened to so profoundly alter our having apparently
forgotten about the sanctity of life? Not in terms of
another input on abortion rights, but kids with guns
and parents that have become so disillusioned with the
statue and what she's supposed to represent that they
simply no longer care?
I'm rambling; you have a lot to say that's worth
listening to; let go and say it.
(Steve (early_999)